Everytime he gets mad or in trouble, he right away starts saying, he wants to die, he doesnt want to live with us, his parents anymore, i dont know why he says these things, and i dont know how to get him to stop saying these things...........HELP PLEASE!!
2006-10-17 05:07:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
a good old spaking should do the trick, aply often for this behaviour
2006-10-17 06:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
This could be a simple case of "how can I get my mom to stop in her tracks and give me undevoted attention?" My son often told me that he hated me, or wished I was dead. I always gave him the same response. That is: I'm sorry you feel that way. Then, I change the subject. He is too young to comprehend the intensity of his words, so I know that he's saying it to grab my attention.
I truly believe that the stronger you react to things, the more you are reinforcing the behavior. If you think it's worth a try, don't give your son a dramatic reaction. React simply and quietly. Do this a few times and see how it works. Your son is only 5. He will say hurtful things many, many times before you get old. My son rarely says the "hate" word any more. When he slips, he seems to regret it. I look at it as part of growing up.
Good luck!
2006-10-17 20:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by ST San Diego 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a same problem with my 7 years old daughter.As She is a wise girl ( for her age she is really wiser thatn others),One day I talked to her about how much I love her and what I did to grow her up and I can not live without her.If she dies I will die immediately.I wish I could be a better mom but it is what I am and I will try to be better.
Then I asked her :"do you believe me? "She said yes.
Then I told her from no on if you wish to die ,I will think that you are showing off.If you want my attention ,just tell me.
It never happened again.
Once a week I remind her that she is the most important part of my life.
2006-10-21 05:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lili 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter does this too when she gets angry or into trouble, it's usually when she's well down the road of angriness! I know it's attention seeking, it's just trying to get a reaction, trying to change the subject and getting you to worry about them! And heck, it works! I know I feel awful when she says those things!
But I know she's just trying it on. I usually point out to her that she doesn't know how lucky she is with so many lovely people (grannies, grandads, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends) around her who love her so much. Last time she snapped right out of it, changed attitude totally and well, cheered up!
I really agree with Andi B, her answer is really good. If the child says these things in anger, it doesn't sound like depression. You'd be the best judge of that.
2006-10-18 17:25:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this too - I cried and panicked. I spoke with my son's doctor and other Moms who assured me that it is more testing of the boundaries, a phase, just a child's way of coming to terms with life in their own little inexperienced way. I didn't get mad or react or tell him to stop. I explained once or twice what it means to die (we go to church). From then on I would immediately make him take a time out and think of 10 things he was grateful for. It stopped faster than it started. Hang in there! I am sure he fine!
2006-10-17 18:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by mariasonawire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
UGHH!! I had this problem with my son. I didn't know what to do either until he spent a couple of days with my mother while I was out of town. My mom curbed this behavior very quickly. At the time I didn't like her methods until my son started doing it at home again, and we tried it ourselves.
Every time my son would say something like that my mom would tell him. "It hurts me to hear you say that, and I don't want to be hurt right now. So, If you're going to say such things, you have to say them in your room by yourself." I know it sounds terrible, but it worked.
On the same note, my son's "outbursts" only happened when things didn't go his way. When he was mad at us, when he got into trouble, or when he didn't get something he wanted. If you're concerned that your child is having suicidal ideations, seek help. If you believe that he's just trying to get back at you, try this one out.
If anyone tells my mom that I said she was right, I'll deny it.
2006-10-17 16:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by andi b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be saying these things because he knows it hurts you when he does. I would watch his behavior closely. Does he act depressed? Or has he always been kind of melodramatic? If he has it probably isn't anything to worry about, but if it is new behavior you should speak with his pediatrician about it. Also, think about his roles models, does he have an older sibling, cousin, uncle etc that uses this kind of behavior to get attention? He may just be copying someone else's behavior.
2006-10-17 15:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 6 year old son does the same thing ,I explained to him about death and that it is somthing that can not be reversed once it happens your gone forever and that we love him very much and that he has so many things he wants to stick around and learn and do and that when he is older he will understand that wanting to die will not solve his problems
2006-10-20 13:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by Tara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is looking for a reaction.
Don't give him one.
When he gets mad, you could say something like "you may not like me now, but that's ok, I love you enough for both of us"
My daughter was very similar and either ignoring her or not giving the desired reaction was what got her out of that habit.
Good luck.
2006-10-18 00:46:10 · answer #9 · answered by Fuzzy Wuzzy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET HIM SOME HELP ASAP!!!
Speak to his pediatrician about finding him a therapist. Call your insurance plan to see which ones are on the plan - ask for psychiatrists (medical doctors who can prescribe medication), psychologists (often non-medical doctors who can not prescribe, but recommend medications to be written by a doctor) and CSWs (certified social workers - they're strictly "talk to me" people - can not give medications or make diagnoses.) If you can not get him in to see someone within ten days, call your pediatrician and get him involved - ask him to call these therapists and get him seen ASAP.
2006-10-17 13:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through that and you don't want to hear that , we are suppose to protect our children, and when we can't make everything OK ,we feel bad,I got help for my grandson who use to say that all the time ,they sometimes do that because they know what bottoms to push,counseling will help
2006-10-17 13:55:30 · answer #11 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋