Been with my fella 2 1/2 years. love him dearly. he loves me. we are both still young. (i am 20... he 21)
I have had previous relationships (long term and short term) and have never felt this way about anyone before. i am head over heals, sick to my stomach if i dont see him, and cant think of any one else i would wanna spend the rest of my life with.
Now i know that saying this stuff to a 21 yr old guy would probably scare the bejesus out of him... but we talk about our future all the time."maybe one day this... and maybe we will do this..."
But i am settled into a career and so is he, i want our relationship to move to the next level and he keeps saying.... "Maybe one day"
he stilll lives with his parents as i live at my own place. he wont move in with me (commute to work not good as he rides a motor bike and starts at 5.15 am about 16 miles away)
I would be willing to compramise but.... how should i approach the subject again so that he doesnt feel hassled?
2006-10-17 04:53:02 · 15 answers · asked by Emma B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You say the two of you have discussed the future and that you re both in it together so ease off for a while and when you know your guy is emotionally stable(no family problems or other life changing stuff) and his money is in good shape (money saved away) ask him if he is ready the biggest problems why a man would not feel confident in and serious commitment is (1) Is struggling to manage the bills so investing more time into anything costs more and a man always wants to or have the option of providing when it is needed or wanted.(2) Being in a secure job where the money is good (3)Everyman wants to invest in himself, to look good(dress sense), jewelry,cars and have his own space so there wont be no problems. I would say he is not ready to move in other wise he would be suggesting it to you give him time.
2006-10-17 05:47:06 · answer #1 · answered by comission90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most blokes like making their own decisions which is probably why he will feel pressured if you keep pushing. It is hard I know, because you want a permanent commitment from him, but if he is not ready, then he is not ready. You are both still very young and have plenty of time for the heavy stuff. Carry on enjoying the relationship as it is for the present, but if, say, in a year's time he is still not budging then I think you ought to start thinking things through again. Good luck - I am sure it will work out for you....
2006-10-17 05:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been together for 2 and a half years then surely you should be able to talk to him about anything. Just bring it up sometime when you're just together having a conversation. Tell him how you were thinking that maybe it would be nice if you both could move in together and then tell him how you are willing to compromise so that it suits the both of you (such as distance from work etc etc etc) ... it's about making him feel comfortable so make sure you know exactly what it is you want and how you plan on going about making it work so that his mind can be at ease! good luck!
2006-10-17 05:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong to want things to move (ahead or not).
Sounds like he's in a comfort zone. Comfortable with where he is in this relationship and comfortable/secure at home with the parents (which is somewhat odd given that he's 21).
Some people (men AND women) reach a comfort zone and aren't willing to go any further. This may be a red flag for you.
2006-10-17 05:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you even watched Linford Christie run?
Did you know your fella can out run him?
Just carry on like this and he'll be gone like a flash.
The guy is 21 for christs sake, don't even touch this subject again for at least 5 years or you'll lose him.
2006-10-17 05:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Emma, you are chasing a ghost. He is no where readdy. Try some other guys, even if you think its 'cheating' enjoy the world while you wait for him to decide. You may find that some others rock your boat.
2006-10-17 05:30:22 · answer #6 · answered by aprilx4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you shouldn't be upfront with him. If he feels hassled then maybe he isn't ready to settle down with you, and therefore maybe you should move on with your life.
2006-10-17 05:31:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, some question about fireball at the top, it's driving me bloody mad.
2016-05-22 08:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it's best to let him decide when he wants to move in and when he is ready then he will
2006-10-17 05:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give it time... If he says maybe one day, give him time. It's nice that you feel this way for him, but don't pressure him into it.
2006-10-17 05:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋