2 1/2 yr old boy has meltdown over using the potty!?

Question

My son will be 3 in December and we have been casually working on potty training him since before he turned 2. I didn't want to be one of these moms buying stage 5 diapers!

We've tried pull ups and underpants... Everytime I buy a pack of diapers I say its the last pack, and everytime I try to put him in underpants I say it's the last time until he cooperates.

He usually doesn't mind lifting the seat and standing to pee but he's such a busy kid that I don't think he realizes when he has to go until its too late. If i try to push him he has a meltdown.

He finally will poop on the potty (now without his little seat) but still only if I bribe him.

I want to put him in preschool, and yesterday we went and looked at one. He loved it and I explained to him that if he wants to go to "daycare" than he has to start wearing underpants, because those kids go pee pee and poopy on the potty. However this AM he had a COMPLETE MELTDOWN when i tried to steer him to the potty. Tips?

this is our only major issue.... he never melts down over anything else. they say that pushing too hard to potty train doesnt work. i AM the parent in every other way. he holds doors for me, says good morning when he wakes up..... its not like im a slack butt parent!

Answer 1

If left to their own accord, children will never be potty trained. Why would they? It is much easier to wear a diaper and get chanced when they go. You have to stay firm. It is a huge pain in the butt to constantly change their clothes, but the payoff is well worth it. Right now I am potty training twin 2 1/2 yr olds and before lunch today I had changed them a combined 5 times. It is aggrevating, but if you slack so will they. After about 2 weeks potty training my first he was done... Im talking no accidents. Put them on the potty every 45 min to an hour, regardless of whether or not the have to go. My first was terrified of the toilet and screamed everytime, but what is the option? Wear diapers until they are 10 and no longer scared. Just remember to be firm and let them know that they HAVE to use the potty. Also I don't care what any parent says, because there is nothing wrong with a little bribery. Good luck!!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

my 2.5 year old son is not potty trained either.....but I am not that worried about it yet.

I think you have 2 choices -- a, quit for a while and just see what he does, that is where I am -- somedays my son never uses the potty and some days he does most of the time.......or b, put him in underwear -- no more pull ups and let him really understand that he will get wet if he pees.

BTW, I would recommend having him SIT on the potty at this age. My son sits and pushes his penis into the potty so the pee doesn't go all over the floor.

Since he is so resistent and relucatant I would take a little reprive and maybe delay preschool until next fall when he is good and ready.

Answer 4

I'm potty training my 2 1/2 year old daughter, and I'm not as consistant as you. (even though I should be)
But I give her a sticker every time she goes.

Maybe with him you can have a "potty box" with small dollar tree toys and crayons, etc. When he potties without putting up a fight, he can reach in the "potty box" and get a surprise. My sister puts candy in her tots' potty box. (I'm not sure how you feel about sweets, but this trick works the best)
You can also let him pick out his underwear. He might want them more if their something he loves like spiderman or thomas the tank engine.
I have a friend who let her little toddler play in the backyard over a weekend without a diaper or underpants. He loved the freedom so much that he insisted on not wearing a diaper again. (The no. 2 part was tricky, she had to ask him every so often if he had to go)...

I hope these will help. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hey if you find the solution, let me know. My 3 y/o is the exact same way......huge meltdown each and every time we even mention the potty.......one morning, I was changing his pullup and i noticed that he "had to go" if ya know what I mean, so I made him go. He fussed and cried, but went anyway. He goes more and more on his own when it comes to pee pee, but he has yet to go #2 in it yet. With my boy, it has to be his idea or he don't want no part of it. I don't force him, i know he will eventually catch onto it.....he has an older brother and he watches his daddy. We encourage him and reward him when he does go. All kids are different and from my experience boys are harder to train than girls....(also have a daughter) Just be patient, give him all the encouragement that you can, and reward him when he does go. Some kids just can't be pushed into anything.......trust me, I have one that is like that. I tell him that he's just like his daddy.....LOL Good luck!!! I wish you the best!!

Answer 6

You have tried the Pull-Ups? You could make a game out of saying 'oh, no...!' sadly if the Pull-Up gets wet and the blue stars disappear. Figure out how you can get him to want to keep his stars on his bigger boy underwear. Let it be HIS idea to not wet his pants. Bribing in this case is rewarding. It's not bribery. He's learning a new skill and learning takes practice and deserves a reward every time he gets it right. He should feel proud of himself when he does get it right. (reward for as long as it takes until he doesn't need one as a motivator anymore)

Maybe he is throwing a hissy fit about it because either he isn't ready and he's being pushed (which can be okay as long as it's not an issue and he doesn't feel selfconscious all of the sudden),
or maybe he senses it's a rule now and he feels ashamed if he makes a mistake. Feeling continuously like he's not making progress could make him not want to try at all (the meltdowns?). So be firm but not beligerant that he keep trying, and make a big deal with lots of praise and approval when he does go. Make it more positive than forceful and he'll want to get the hang of it.

Figure out if he's lazy and just wants you to keep taking care of him, or if you think he's a bit shy and selfconscious. If he's shy, obviously go easy on him and encourage alot. If he's lazy, you'll have to make him get used to the new way of doing things. (sigh) Very infuriating.

Try encouraging him with other things unrelated to potty time, but related to him getting bigger. Boost his selfconfidence with things like helping you fold something or handing you stuff, putting a shirt and socks on, ect. Going potty should just be one more thing among many that he feels he getting good at as he gets Big...! If that fails and that isn't his issue and laziness is - get tough. His favorite toy or something gets put away until he starts trying 'nicely' without a tantrum. When he can act 'nice' he gets whatever back. My son responds well to loss of priviledges and favorites. It's a great motivator.

P.S. If he goes into preschool - seeing other kids using the potty and stopping what they're doing to go to the bathroom will be a big influence on him too. He'll want to be like the other kids. Ask any doctor, or day care person - peers influence big time.

Answer 7

I never actually had this problem, I had a girl, and she was, well, easier than this anyway. But I will offer some advice, if you want it. Keep him indoors for a couple weeks. Let him run around with or without clothes on, whatever he prefers. If he has a BM on the floor, enlist his help in cleaning it up. Don't put it him on a guilt trip on anything, just make it clear that every time he poops on the floor, he will help clean it up. Give lavish praise for any time that he uses the potty. If necessary, call up your husband at work and have him praise your son too. Don't worry about potty training overnight. Hopefully in a couple weeks the situation will improve. It sounds like he just wants to be in control of the situation. So you want to make it more appealing for him to do what you want him to do, without putting any extra pressure on him. Good luck! And yes, one day he will be trained, he won't still be pooping on the floor in college or anything.

Answer 8

My Tip: STOP Pushing him, there is nothing wrong with letting him take his time, Geez he's still a TODDLER. My Dr. told me that kids who are pushed will eventually regress and I have seen it. I let me son take his time and he's only had 1 mistake, because we couldn't find a potty. He was 3 when he learned and I believe that's an average age.

2nd Tip: If you really want to get him in the swing of things, remind him and take him when you go. Check to see if he's on a schedule. Just don't pressure him too much.

Answer 9

You need to be a little firmer with him..I have a 2 yr old boy that goes potty. Every hour you hae to tell him to go...not ask. I started out giving a treat if he went pee in the potty. After a while he just goes and doesn't ask for the treat.

Answer 10

Boys are WAY harder to get potty trained then girls, beleive me. Both of my sons were 3 1/2 before we got them to do it full-time. My advise is, don't make a fight out of it because you will lose. The power struggle is bad for you and your son!! Lay off and let him decide when he's ready. Keep the dialog open, letting him know it's a "big-boy" thing. Keep encouraging him. It will happen. 2 1/2 just might be too early for your son and it's stressing him out. Good luck!!