Ok, I don't know what's wrong but whenever I'm with a guy I'm attracted to I I don't know why I can't come up with anything to talk to, I can't respond to anything they say because I don't know what to say and all I think about are awkward pauses. What can I do?
2006-10-17 04:45:30 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm 20 and this has been goin on for a while now
2006-10-17 05:05:03 · update #1
Don't worry- it happens to everyone at some point. First thing you need to know is that guys are difficult to talk to, especially when they're teenagers. For a guy, what you would consider an "awkward" silence is just them kicking back, taking it all in. Men aren't as driven to fill every silence, as women can sometimes be. If a guy brings up something you don't know about or don't really have a response to, just say something like, "That sounds interesting. I'd llike to know more about that subject." Be forewarned, though- this could potentially launch you into a 30-minute soliloquy on the relative merits of the old vs. the new Star Wars trilogies, so don't say you're interested unless you really are. If you don't have any common interests, that could mean he's not the right guy for you. However, I find that pop culture topics (TV shows, music, celebrities) are good ice-breakers for both sexes, and if pop culture's not your thing, why don't you try telling him about some of YOUR interests? Just don't go overboard with overexplanations or really long anecdotes, and you should be fine.
2006-10-17 05:00:15 · answer #1 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is like this for a while. Soon enough you will realize that by not speaking your mind you are screwing it up infinitely more than if you said something dumb.
Why not START the conversation? That way you put yourself in the driver's seat. You can ask the questions, they respond, you ask another...etc. You can talk about something you know you have some expertise in so you will never be at a loss for words.
Try it....
2006-10-17 11:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always been pretty shy. I have grown out of it mostly. What I have found that works if no one is saying anything is to ask the other person things about them-self. For the most part people like to talk about themselves. If you feel overly nervous, just take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and try to relax. Most importantly, be yourself. If the guy doesn't like who you are, you don't want him.
2006-10-17 12:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by dmwid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well this is kinda tough but im going through the same situation.
When they talk to you just think of really simple answers so you don't confuse yourself. And i asking him simple questions like 'how are you?' and 'what have you been doing today?' will immediately let him know that you enjoy his company.
Boys minds can be slightly stange but sometimes your gonna have to picture him as a usual guy who is your friend.
It can help when there are arkward pauses.
Good Luck! xox
2006-10-17 12:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by a.boozie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg.........i totally understand. i get the same way. its like....my brain stopped working and is on like a long pause. and i get nervous then cause I'm not saying anything.
how do i over come this........well, it helps if he likes to talk. i take slow breaths to help the anxiety. so talk about what he's talking about. ask about his family...were he's from. does he have any brothers and sisters. does he work? what kind of work does he do? how long has he been doing that? how did he get into that line of work. does he play sports? what position does he play? men like to talk about themselves and get interested in a woman who is taking interest in them. like more then just flirty interest. if your into philosophical conversations talk about that.......men also seem to like an in depth conversation. or politics.. give your opinions on whats going on.....current events in the news. movies.......what movies has he seen........did he like this or that.
2006-10-17 11:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because u r thinking about what 2 say 2 much u dont want 2 sound stupid RIGHT! Dont think bout 2 much cause he is gonna get bored! if u dont say n-e thing
2006-10-17 12:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by Marlene O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a course on self-confidence. I think you're afraid that he might see the "real" you (although goodness knows, that's sort of overrated already) and think you're not smart enough or anything. Read up, interact more with others, listen. build up your intellectual database. and remember, nobody has it all.
2006-10-17 12:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by Nadz U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very simple,let the guys come to u and start the chat.
If they don, don worry, they are not worth having you as a frnd.
2006-10-17 11:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by shbharath 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to get to know the guy better, that way you'll feel more confident and be able to talk easier.
2006-10-17 11:55:59 · answer #9 · answered by Manny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats normal...but not for a 20 year old. Maybe you should find some kind of counselor for that...
2006-10-17 12:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by ram_this911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋