In your household, are the parents dictators or do you make desicions based on democratic decisions?

Answer 1

`In my house the order is the cat, my wife (aka BOSS) and then me. The cat is not a benevolent dictator.

Answer 2

Like "SoapinTrucker" said, it's a mixture of both...HOWEVER, it can be neither a parental dictatorship, nor a TRUE democracy, since kids usually don't know what's best. They SHOULD have input, but the parent should usually make the final call, based on REALISTIC info, values, etc. Kids can and do get VERY ANXIOUS if they feel their parents have almost no control, or put themselves "on a par" with a child! (even if it's themselves!).

I was a teacher's assistant at an alternative school when I first began teaching, where, each week, we would all gather around and let the kids give us feedback. The other teachers were so lame, that one time, when a teacher, asked, "So, what do you kids want?", one of them said, "YOU'RE The teachers! Aren't' you supposed be guiding US?"! Ahh, out of the mouths of babes!

So...in our household, we have certain ground rules, most of which are open to discussion (like wardrobe) , some of which are not (taking off w/o notification). As our kid grows, we allow more freedom, based on his completion of stuff like homework and chores. If it's a truly muddy issue, we all DO discuss it, but, since WE are the adults, w/more experience and judgment, we decide the final result.

And our kid will STILL argue! Don't come unglued just because that happens...they could grow up to be super lawyers if they're good at it! (But our kid STILL has to learn to argue w/pros he learned from: US!)

P.S. - For those of you advocating dictatorship: you WILL fail! Your kids will rebel MORE than the ones whose parents listened, or else be repressed, frightened cowards, afraid to live w/o YOUR permission (which is just sick). Kids NEED to be guided into making their own decisons. After all..what will they do when YOU are six feet under?
Besides...being a dictator indicates a series of pretty messed-up personality traits! HITLER was a dictator...and a sucessful one. Wanna be like him? Your kids might fear you, but they will never truly respect you.

Answer 3

dictators??

Not all decisions can be democratic by any means. Most kids do not know what is truly in their best interest. There are many decisions that a child does have to make on his own though..this is how they learn.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say we (the parents) are dictators. But we are the adults and we make the rules. Some decisions can't be democratic for the safety and welfare of the children, but as time goes by they can have a little input. Our son asked us when school started if he could stay up a half hour later since he was moving up to middle school. We hadn't thought about it, but after he asked we decided that that was a reasonable request and extended his bedtime. We try to set out fair rules and we listen to our kids, but ultimately the parents make the decisions and we don't always have to explain why to our kids. I think that "because I said so" is a perfectly acceptable reason.

Answer 5

We are dictators. What we say goes. Kids need direction in life. They need rules and people to enforce those rules. They don't need someone to say "Johnny what you did was bad--how do you feel you should be punished?"--it shouldn't be a decision for a child if they are going to go out with their parents--it should just be expected. I was raised this way until I was about 13--I didn't know any different. When I started doing things to earn respect and privilege I got respect and privilege. I think kids should be allowed to go out on their own when they show they are responsible enough--whatever age that is it's fine. I also think when you give kids options they get the idea they can control you. Parents aren't supposed to be controlled--kids are. I'm not saying I'm some tough parent who won't let my child do what he/she wants. If my son wanted to do karate and I wanted him to do baseball--karate it is. They have some choices but some things they don't have a choice in and they don't know the difference. I think it's important to have rules and family time when they are young to prepare them to make the right decisions by following your lead. Why? Because I said so...I just had to add that in.

You cannot possibly compare governement to parenting though. He's right. The goverment is in charge of an entire country, foregin affairs, and isn't like parenting at all.

I also agree with the other guy--it a good blend of both in my house.

Answer 6

I don't think that my husband and I are dictators. We listen to what our child wants to do, then we make decisions based on if it can be done, what is practical and how much the child actually wants to do whatever is asked.
Granted, our children are 2 and 5 months. Our 2-year old is very independent and when she wants to do something, she is very adamant about it. If it is reasonable, we allow it, but if it isn't, then we tell her why and suggest something else that is more fitting.

Answer 7

My husband is a dictator and I am a democrat, usually I handle everything because he was raised with in the South and he had a very strict upbringing and I was raised up North with parents who believed in hearing the children's opinion and then making decisions. All though we are both successful people with a very good upbringings, I believe that my parents methods thought me that my opinion counted and my parents and I still have an excellent relationship.

Answer 8

We go the authoratative route - some things are not negotiable, but they're usually concerning safety, nutrition, and hygiene. Most of our decisions are made with input from my son, who's 7. We try to give the kids as many choices as is reasonable, and make sure that explanations are given for "foot down" decisions.

Answer 9

I live with my family. and i have never seen them to try to dictate their decisions. of course i don't mean that we always make decisions together, but we do something which is the best for everyone.
and finally if i want to be completely honest, my parents and especially my father is amost of the times agree with the decisions that i and my sister have made already.

Answer 10

We have a mixture of both in our home. Sometimes there is no democratic decision and what mom says goes!

Answer 11

You can say democratic...in a 3 party system.

If I want something and my reasoning is illogical, they easily win the 'vote' going 2 vs 1.

However, if my idea makes sense, they listen.