I mean I guess it doesn't matter what sex, but the explanation is usually BS and means nothing more but formal candy-coating so not to hurt the person's feelings. It's never the truth. Am I correct?
2006-10-17 04:01:52 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey "da",
IT IS! If a girl has any feelings for a guy AT ALL, she sure wouldn't leave him hanging!!!! The fact that she says something to him, "sugar coated" or not, SHOWS that there IS something behind her motives and maybe for that she might have a guilty conscience, which could very well be WHY what she says in explanation, could be as said, "sugar coated!"
Now, don't say NEVER! The girl might not feel comfortable coming out and saying, for instance, "I'm interested in someone else!" Sometimes, the TRUTH hurts, for both parties!
To me, I think it's natural for a person to cover up the real reason why they want to break up, BUT, an explanation is alot better than none and you're just standing there!!!!! Know what I mean?????
I'd say for alot of people, we all have that "Defense Mechanism" that comes out when we're put on the defensive, or offensive-----whichever the case----------
But, don't think that in either gender that usually, as you put it, some explanantion, whether it's believeable or not, doesn't mean it's gonna be BS!
There are times when it's difficult to admit truths, I know!!!!!
But, when it comes down to not wanting to hurt another's feelings, sometimes us girls get stuck, you see?
And maybe sooner or later, the girl can deal with being open about the truth of the matter, but she is "saving face" because she has real feelings for the guy she is breaking up with, or the other way around! Try to see it from OUR point of view!
Not everybody lies you know!
Hope this helps!
Keep on keepin' on!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-17 04:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better not offer any explanation for the break.The whole idea of offering explanation is to give an alibi.No broken heart wants to hear a lame excuse,when he/she is still seething from the pain of rejection.Safe the storm in a tea cup story and move on with life.Dont cause further damages.
2006-10-17 04:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that sometimes people do "candy coat" it so as not to hurt the other person's feelings. But, I am sure some people are honest also ~ I think most people would want to know why they are getting broke up with though.
2006-10-17 04:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The explanation is for closure as much as anything else. If she simply starts avoiding you, you could easily ascribe that to her suddenly being overwhelmed with other obligations. If she starts treating you poorly, you could chalk it up to stress. But if she tells you that it's over and gives a lame explanation why, then there's no doubt that it's over.
If you're tired of girls giving you lame breakup explanations, you can thank all the boys who were too dense to get the hint via more subtle means.
2006-10-17 04:12:12 · answer #4 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say it's never the truth.
But I think it's the person's way of trying to sugar coat like you said, or so they think, I personally think it's their way of trying not to feel guilty over the situation, and they are trying to reason it all out using the very person they are dumping as a sounding board hoping for validation.
I would say more girls than guys might do it because when guys dump girls more often than not the girl WANTS to know why.
2006-10-17 04:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it is the truth... people feel the need to explain everything these days... like when they say "i'll be there in 15 minutes" they think they need to explain where they are and why it'll take 15 minutes... or they get off the elevator on the wrong floor, turn around get back on, and feel the need to explain that it was the wrong floor to the people on the elevator, who obviously know thats why you came back...
it makes the person feel better to explain, have a story behind what they think/feel/do.. sad but true
2006-10-17 04:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DO think it's necessary. When done honestly, bullshit should play no part of it. An explanation offers the potential to grow as a person for all parties involved and is vital for a sense of closure.
2006-10-17 04:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time it is a fabricated story that goes on and on...
Once the decision is made to break up, whatever the reason, the creative story begins in their mind...
It is a way of trying to be nice to the other person and doing a self cleansing on their soul.
Like cleaning out your drawers of old stuff.....
Get rid of it any way you can...
On with the next...... LA LA LA LA
2006-10-17 04:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if somone is going to break up with me...or appeared to like me, we go out, and their interest seems to be gone...I'd like to know why. Hopefully they'll be truthful...but then again, I don't sugar-coat and if someone wants to know why I'm not interested, or why my feelings have changed, they'll get the truth (gently, but real)...
There is no 'not hurting the other person's feelings'...if someone breaks up with you, your feelings (if you have any) are going to be hurt...whether they give you a reason or not...people tend not to dig rejection...
2006-10-17 04:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-23 15:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by rudicil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋