last night, a mutual friend of my b/f's and mine came over... and i have been a bit stressed b/c my b/f is acting all nervious when it comes to giving me any type of attention... so therefore my b/f hasn't been giving me hugs/kisses/anything...
also, my family just told me they hated me and dont' claim me as their child anymore, b/c i moved...
so my friend came over... and my b/f knows he comes over on mondays...
i gave him a hug... and we just stopped.. he was holding me... and i fell asleep in his arms... and when my roommates alarm clock wen't off... we just went into my room...
we did not have sex or do anything.. innappropriate... but i am worried that it looks like i cheated...
if you were my b/f would you be upset
well, the backgroud of why i think my b/f would be upset, is that the last girl he dated, cheated with one of his friends...
and i promised my b/f to tell him if anything happens... ever...
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
2006-10-17 03:59:35 · 66 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a tough one. I don't know if you can call the cheating but I know that your boyfreind isn't going to like what you did. I think that you should tell him what you did, you need to have an open adn honest relastionship or it won't last. However I don't guarentee he's going to forgive you right away. My boyfriends best friend is always at my house and stays the night but we never sleep in the same room. He takes that couch and I sleep in my room. I don't know if you slept in the same bed and what not I think that might be a little akward for you boyfriend.
Basically you just need to tell him. Flat out just tell him. You'll have to deal with the consiquences but the truth is way better than a lie.
2006-10-17 04:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ana 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that letting another man hold you all night and then moving to the bed room even if nothing happened where you slept next to each other for the rest of the night is inappropriate even if you didn't have sex. You shared a very intimate night with one of his friends. This is a guy's worst nightmare. On the other side I can imagine how any girl would react if she heard her boyfriend did the same, it wouldn't be pretty. Your best chance is to let your boyfriend know what happened so that you can be the one telling him instead of someone else. None the less when he hears about it he is going to think that there was more done than that.
2006-10-17 04:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. i think what you did was more for comfort. however, appearances do matter. i think the best thing to do would be to assess your own needs and that of your bf's. think through what would be best. telling him that something happened just because you think you cheated (or it looks like you cheated) won't solve the problems you're contending with now in your relationship. in fact, gauging from your query, the depth of communication may need some work and if you tell him straight off, it could very likely end up in a misunderstanding instead of solving the real problems. the thing is, you need some sort of intimacy from your boyfriend and you're not getting it bec apparently he's not comfortable with it. and you've been having problems and you needed some sort of comfort. human touch is a real powerful thing. anyway, what i'm driving at is if you don't get to the core of the problem, this probably won't be the last episode or dilemma of this kind that you'll go through. talk things over with your boyfriend and discuss your needs. I believe you didn't cheat. still, some things need to be qworked on to prevent anymore confusing incidents from taking place.
2006-10-17 04:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Nadz U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only you and you alone that know what transpired between you and the guy and its only you that can answer the question by yourself. If you didn't do anything out of the ordinary, then don't tell you bf but if you did, is it best to destroy your relationship over.... You really have to be careful next time especially around your mutual friends but in this case, your friend might and i mean might tell your bf so the choice is up to you.
Have a one on one talk with your bf and settle all the issues afterall, why are you in the relationship if you can't talk to your bf? If you still feel unfulfilled, then you should have a rethink of your relationship.
2006-10-17 04:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't consider what you did cheating...but...you shouldn't have gone in your room...that makes it seem a little suspicious even if things were very innocent. I would be upset if I were in your boyfriend's situation..for the simple fact that I would keep on having thoughts in my mind about whether you did something or not. You say he hasn't been showing you much affection...so maybe there are things you need to discuss together. Also...maybe you shouldn't tell him about the mutual friend going in your room because if nothing happened there's no point in starting an argument..some things are better left unsaid...
2006-10-17 04:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by lovelylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what happened. Do what you promised because if he finds out another way, he will think you cheated and nothing you can say after that will make him think otherwise. Just tell him you were feeling shitty about your family and just needed some kind of emotional attention. That nothing happened and you don't feel that way toward your friend. Maybe then HE will start giving you the attention you need. So you don't have feelings for this other guy, do you?
2006-10-17 04:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though you both know nothing happened it's still and hard situation. Where he's had a g/f cheat on him in the past thats grounds for him to assume you did too. I would try and explain it to him the way it happened, you just fell asleep. He still may not believe you, but that might be something you have to risk. Being honest is always the best thing to be.
2006-10-17 04:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by Mandie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let your boyfriend know what happened, but let him know what a good friend you both have. If your boyfriend is the jealous type because of what his last girlfriend did, then that's his problem. he will know that you are telling the truth hopefully. Ask yourself why your boyfriend wasn't there to comfort you when you really needed it. Lot's of times people cheat because the other person isn't giving them the attention that they need. Maybe that's what happened with the old girlfriend. Be glad that you have such a good friend.
2006-10-17 04:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While nothing technically happened, it was clearly inappropriate. The "mutual" part of the friendship is questionable. He's clearly not your BF's friend, because if he was, he would never have done that. Also, I dont think he's your friend because he knows what kind of situation that puts you in. He sounds like a sneaky parasite, clinging on to your relationship and probably hoping to get in the middle without anyone noticing. You should probably decide which one you want in your life. This guy sounds like he is not settling for second fiddle.
2006-10-17 04:10:31 · answer #9 · answered by Mike C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't cheat. You were comforted by a friend, but because of society's stringent ideas of what's appropriate and not you've been duped into feeling ashamed and guilty about something more innocent than most human actions and motivations. I do agree with daj that you guys have a LOT of issues you need to discuss. Tactile bonding and affection is more vital to the human psyche than we allow it credit for. Your boyfriend has serious intimacy issues that will only grow worse if he isn't slapped with a reality stick soon.
2006-10-17 04:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋