Hot & Cold With Somebody You Love?

Question

I am a Man of 27 years of age. I am very clear in what 'Real Love' and what 'Lust' is. I have had to contempt with someone whom is 23 years of age ...with their constant inconsistencies ...no matter what ...I have worshipped the floor she walks on, treated her like the Queen, that a woman deserves to be treated right. What i clearly don't understand ...is Hot ...everything is okay, then all of a sudden the usual dose of 'ending it' *Cold* ..which is only a temporary thing. I can be patient ...but i can't hang around for somebody who plays me around ...no matter how much i love them. Why in your opinion is that a woman goes hot and cold with a person ...on / off ...only when it suits them. Always cutting you off ...you always take their **** ...but they are inconsiderate to how the other person is really feeling. Why do Women go hot and cold on a man who they really know loves them ...but yet is abusing the Man's emotions, which would be me. What is one to do. Wait and work it or fly?

I spoke with her last night ...she never gave me a straight answer. just the usual "I've been thinking?" This to me is a very mix answer. She is blaming my over excessive calling *When being ignonred* as an excuse. When somebody is being ignored, when they want the answer they sought. It will typically lead to that. I'd apologised for it. I broke down crying ...she always does this. Then came this responce "I don't have time to listen to this for next 10 mins, cos i will fall asleep". "You wouldn't like it!" She then said she will talk soon??. All the kind respected answers to this question, i greatly appreciated. As in one of them, i'd told her that i wouldn't settle for being 2nd best. To work with her and grow with her. Should i just leave it now, walk away. Don't answer her calls. I can't deal with somebody drifting in and out of my life ...knowing very well how i feel about them. I've told her she needs time, as she was in a short relationship, before returning to me. What to do??

Yes another extra details log:

She's 23, with a beautiful daughter. I love them both. I have told her that i envision her as a future wife. All the answers to the question i posed, i am ever again so grateful for you responding to this question. Know as i was before. She was in a short term relationship, prior to getting back with me. That obviously ended. I concluded that i thought it was a rebound, so i put it aside and took her back. Know the weekend has just gone. I spend a lovely weekend with her. She gave me her word in wanting to work this, whilst she is having her time out, then all of a sudden she decides she no longer wishes to know me. Without giving a very clear answer? Do you think that she is so complicated with certain things in her life, she doens't know what she wants. Is it right for a person to wait, until they have resolved their problem? Is it right to be patient with them? I know the choice is mine. But would you wait for somebody you cherish and love so madly???

Answer 1

if i were you, id fly!!!! shes taking advantage of you.............you've clearly made it obvious that you love her and worship the ground she walks on and would do anything for her, so she thinks she can treat you like this and get away with it, coz you'll still be there when she needs you. you need to show her and tell her this isnt the case. shes actually sort of using you.However the reason behind her behaviour may be due to a number of things..........no-one can be sure except her. but the only thing that would make me act like that is if i was afraid of comitment, or worried that things would fall apart and id get hurt. talk to her, you need to know where you stand so you can get on with your life........either with her, or without her. hope thats helped xx

Answer 2

If she's treating you badly then you should have it out with her. You make it sound like your settling for second best when you say you have had to contempt with this woman, are you sure your in love with her and not just with her cuz she's a younger model? Lovely that you treat her right but you don't sound like you really want to. Maybe this is why she's running hot and cold?
On the other hand woman can sometimes be very indecisive, as the saying goes, it's our prerogative to change our minds! Other woman find a decent bloke and aren't satisfied cuz he's too nice, and would rather have a bad boy. If this is her, get rid she's not worth the hassle, their are plenty of other ladies out there who will appreciate you, and love you back the way you deserve

Answer 3

Firstly, the fact you treat her like a princess is where you're going wrong. Think of a child and a parent (without being dodgy!) if the parent spoils the kid, the kid is unappreciative and only nice to get what they want. If you start to play a little more hard to get then she will wonder whats going on and I bet u she'll be making the phone calls and wanting the attention, rather just having it at her disposal... trust me, when my boyfriend doesn't call me I think about him more, it's good to be kept on your toes to a certain extent. If she's still giving you a hard time, then maybe she doesn't care as much as she should....

Answer 4

You may love her and want to be with her unconditionally. Her actions obviously show that she does not feel the same way about you. A person who truly loves and wants to be with somebody will not treat them that way. She's still wondering if your who she really wants to be with. It also sounds like your giving her to much. Your treating her like a Queen and she is not a queen. No human being should be worshiped.

Answer 5

I agree, I hate to admit that I have been guilty of this in the past, I know it is easy to blame hormones but that is what it was in my case, a change of pill cured it.... I think you need to wait until she is in a "hot" mood and then confront her with it. hopefully she will be more receptive then, if she doesn't see how unfair she is being then you have to ask yourself is she really worth it, and it is worth pointing this out to her.. It might be the wake up call that she needs. just be careful as she may not be aware that she behaves like this, if hormones are to blame. seriously, you sound like a nice bloke, good luck with it.

Answer 6

as a chic myself maybe she has had previous boyfriends who have hurt her,cheated on her,she may feel insecure and need lots of resurance and could be scared it happens again she needs to feel in control at the moment explain how she's making you feel,tell her you won't be treated like a door mat,if this don't work you walk out on her and tell her your giving her time to think if shen truely loves you it wont take long before she's on the phone good luck xx

Answer 7

ummm, nicely possibly it quite is which you 2 have not quite have been given to spend time mutually in guy or woman! possibly when you meet head to head you are able to improve a greater effectual bond when you all meet , possibly you are able to take a seat look him interior the attention,and tell him to easily provide help to recognize precisely what it quite is he needs,tell him the type you have fallen in love with him and in simple terms opt for somebody who will sense the comparable way approximately you, and not have days that make you wander in case you made the final determination..I wish you the appropriate,and need issues artwork out for the two considered one of you.. yet in addition you would be wanting to be risk-free, you're able to desire to to take a chum with you once you meet!!

Answer 8

Men also go hot and cold on their emotions in a relationship. Sh!t my boyfriend will act like he loves me to death one minute and the next minute he'll act as if he'd rather be alone. So, it goes the same way for women and men.

Answer 9

You gotta figure out why she is going cold on you. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but it sounds like she doesn't really feel the same about you. I think she probably really likes you but she is still looking for something better. You are a convienence relationship to her. She definetly likes you and is attached to you, but if something better comes along....you're toast.

Answer 10

i think she just trying 2 c what things you can take from her and what you cant. and or maybe she wants you to know what your getting into ,like if you were 2 get married the sort of things you ort toexpect and dat. but if that aint da arnswer shes a time waster sent from the devil to waste your time and destroy your life PRAY run PRay