Should I end it?!?! Upset and confused!?

Question

I've been with the same great guy for almost 4.5 years. We have the typical relationship problems and a few others that are outside the norm.

A few weeks ago I went away for the weekend with a few of my girlfriends and came home feeling odd about my relationship with my BF. I *know* he loves me but I just don't feel it anymore. I don't feel like I'm special to him. We both still live at home with parents so any free time we have doesn't mean we have a chance to be alone. That is a whole other problem

When I was away, yes I flirted and yes I was hit on but I would never do something that disrespectful as to cheat on my BF. But I'm left feeling confused. When I told my BF about this, he was obviously upset that I felt this way.

I am so torn. He is a great guy, but our situation; both of our parents don't like their kid's significant other = stress, and other things - I think is taking a toll on me. If I don't feel the "Spark" anymore, does that mean I've reached the end....?

Answer 1

I think you should talk to him and explain why you feel the way you do. Dont just throw away 4.5 years of a relationship, it can be saved. Both of you might need to make some changes, in a lasting relationship both people need to make sacrifices. Somethings need to be kept alone and not told, while others need to be discussed. You dont have to let him know everytime a guy flirts with you, or you flirt. I bet it makes him think your trying to tell him other guys want you and you could have other guys. I had the same problem with my boyfriend. But thats how he felt and then i understood. It will work out. People have problems, i know it seems your the only ones but your not. Good luck, and hang in there. It will be fine.... :)

Answer 2

Well, it depends... you may just be feeling restless now that the initial hormone bath of 'new relationship energy' (new wave-y term for the physiological and psychological energizing roller-coaster effect that forming an intense new bond has) has waned... yes, this sort of thing can last years. Ecspecially if you have something like dissapproving parents to add drama to the relationship. You have to figure out if you built your relationship on honest-to-goodness bonds that can last, or if it was just a rebellious fling that got drawn out. If this man really is a 'great guy' and worth holding onto, it means you're going to have to buckle down and *work* at re-connecting with him. Relationships tend to go through cycles, and some of those cycles include feelings of boredom and restlessness that--like a cold--take action and emotional medicine to fix.

It's oh-so-unromantic, but in the long run may very well be worth it. Do a good soul search, and best of luck to you. Whatever you do, if you decide you don't want to persue this man, don't string him along, and be frank. Don't try to be 'nice', because it's the ultimate cruelty to him in the long run.

Answer 3

Maybe your just confuse right now why don't you ask him for a cool,you need to think about it first before ending a 4.5 years of relationship so you won't have regrets at the end.If you don't have feelings for him anymore after the space and time he give you,then you have to set each other free.at least you had both tried to give it atleast a try to work it out.But its hard to push on things which is not really meant to be.

Answer 4

No, it doesnt mean that at all necessarily, maybe you need to spend a weekend away from everything just the two of you? most relationships require you to work hard at it and be prepared for ups and downs. Ask yourself what life would be like without each other. i love my fiance very much and we have been together for 3.5 yrs but we still have ups and downs its the working through them that is important.

Answer 5

devoid of understanding how he dealt with you interior the courting, i could say proceed with warning. even even with the incontrovertible fact that he claims to you prefer you decrease back, his habit and efforts are erratic, which does no longer bode properly for a efficient reunion. I went by way of an exceedingly comparable undertaking with my ex - boyfriend. we would destroy up - 3 years later, I nonetheless could no longer provide you a sparkling answer as to why - and he could beg for forgiveness, which i could provide devoid of questions. unavoidably, he became no longer properly worth it and all it led to heartache. You have been easily appropriate to to declare that he needs to coach himself, as you DO want some style of reassurance that he's actual and that he's properly worth your have confidence. a actual guy that's properly worth some time will savour this, and could do notwithstanding it takes to coach himself. ultimately, i think of that the thoughts listens to the midsection, yet additionally that (very almost) everybody merits a 2d probability. It looks such as you prefer to try this, and there is not any longer something incorrect with that; purely ensure you do it the right way. desire all of it works out.

Answer 6

no u shldn end it. it's jus a passing phrase. one day u'll get e feeling back again. plan some secret outting from ur parents n enjoy some great time together. u'll regret it if u give up ur relationship like tt.. it's jus temptations n boredom u're facing. good luck. don give up!

Answer 7

Maybe you should try taking a break and seeing other people you never know that could bring you closer together.

Answer 8

i think that you should talk to him first before you make any rash decisions. just have a long long talk with him and see if you can come to a solution first, and then if not i guessyou will have to do what you gotta do. good luck

Answer 9

Search your heart for the truth. It's there and you know the answer. Follow your heart and you want get lost!!!!

Answer 10

sit down and tell him how you feel, express yourself, if he gets mad at you hes not the sweet understanding guy you thought he was now is he? if hes the right guy he'll express his feelings too,
not all men are slobs, take me for example:)