So i found out that my girlfriend has a crush on someone in her college (she doesnt know that I know). I read that she likes him and that she plans on asking him out to coffee.
Today she calls me and tells me that she needs someone to do a photoshoot for her (she is a photographer) and of course its him. She said that she needed someone else to photograph besides me(per her teacher) -- I found out that this was a lie.
However, over the weekend she said she loves me and wants to be with me etc. She even mentions us as friends etc while she is up and im devistated because of this (we have been dating for over a year). I'm beginning to wonder if she is cheating or what...
what should I do? not worry? find my own study buddy?
*we go to college about an hour and a half appart. we visit eachother every weekend.
*we have spoken to eachother about this... i have hinted towards "if there is someone else or not" and she keeps saying that im the only one.
2006-10-17 03:31:27 · 14 answers · asked by Kyle W 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do long distance relationships work?
2006-10-17 03:31:41 · update #1
these are all facts... i read them in her notes when i was visiting her 2 weekends ago.
2006-10-17 05:33:53 · update #2
First off I want to say that I'm sorry that your relationship is not working out well for you. Second I think she has the right to know how you feel about the situation. Just calmly talk to her, and tell her how this stresses you out. DON'T tell her you are thinking that she is cheating, that will just make her angry at you. I think that if it is necessary, you may need to take a break from each other. This may make you realize that you to really belong together, or that it would be better if you two split If she is saying that you are her friend, than she might be thinking it better if you two split. My opinion is to calmly talk to her, and put everything out on the table. Yes, she should have made a better choice as to who her photographer was, but she might not have know that you would be offended by this. If things don't work out, there are other people out there, your an attractive guy, I dont think it will be hard. Good luck!
2006-10-17 08:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by aimeemay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often, long distance relationships are much harder because you don't get to see each other as much as you would like. This guy that she is interested in is around when you are not. If she's lying to you so you can spend time with him and plans to ask him out behind your back, I would be seriously considering the future of the relationship. You say that you have 'hinted' about there being someone else and she has denied it, yet you know for a fact that she has been slowly putting plans in motion to get herself and this guy in a position where something could happen... And if she does this sucessfully, then what happens? Will she lie to you? Break it off with you? Either way you lose... Even if the guy rejects her and nothing ever happens beyond a cup of coffee or a photo shoot, she is still thinking about being unfaithful... Which means she probably has little respect for you or the relationship.
2006-10-17 10:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by DexiB 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to put the issues on the table in order to deal with them. Tell her you found out about the other guy and her lies. Ask her if she is really serious with the relationship with you, and if she's not to let you know so you aren't wasting your time and energy on someone who isn't into it.
Cheating on her is no way to go about it. Be mature, have a mature talk with her, or it will eat you up guessing if she is with some other guy, running to conclusions over little things she says/does.
2006-10-17 10:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun, if you know that what she is doing is unfaithful, set her free. But please make sure that what you suspect is 100% reality. If you think she is doing more than just spending time with the guy, speak to her about it, confront her openly. Do not HINT, come right out and ask her. Yes she may avoid or deny it, but let her know the facts that you have...give her a chance though. I do hope that your thoughts are just that, thoughts and not the truth. You seem like a wonderful guy, smart, sweet, etc. Good luck my friend!
2006-10-17 10:43:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Long distance relationships can work but only if both people want it enough.
It sounds like your girlfriend is trying to find a new boyfriend but because she doesn't want to actually be single she'll keep you around till the has hooked the next one.
Both people have to trust and work at a long distance relationship and I'm sorry but I don't think she is
2006-10-17 10:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by madamspud 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you know what you should do, you need to confront her with the information you have. (painful I know) Hanging onto someone that isn't truly in love with you will only make things worse down the line. Be upfront and honest with her and maybe she will be upfront and honest with you. If she denies it and you want to prove to her that these things are true you better have your proof ready to show her or she will start to resent you for being so insecure and jealous. Good Luck....
2006-10-17 10:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront her about this. Hints won't work. Actually, unless you are engaged she has the right to see anyone she chooses. And no, long distance relationships rarely work.
2006-10-17 10:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but she cannot be in love with u if she won't even tell her college mates, or photograph partners that u are her man. i would move foward, because most long distance relationships don't work...
2006-10-17 10:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i would suggest is sitting her down face to face and tell her your concerns. Long distance is hard. you need to have alot of trust. But it depends on where you herd your information. how reliable the source it. But from experience you need to talk to her yourself. If you still feel that there is something going on then you need to make the decision on wheather to end it.
2006-10-17 10:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by kristyn m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok u know that this is not going to work out. you guys are both young and at college where your going to meet new people. Save yourself the heartache now and and break up with her. You both have your whole lives ahead of you.
2006-10-17 10:42:26 · answer #10 · answered by dunebugger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋