How do you cope when you are agoraphobic and lonely.?

Question

I have been stuck in our house now for 5 years. I don't go shopping don't like being between people cannot go anywhere without my dogs as i am too scared. Please help. I do get very lonely but have got so used to being alone i find it hard to communicate with people.

Answer 1

You are the perfect wife!

PS: you can always become a nun...

Answer 2

Hi there, I was stuck at home an awful lot, not due to agoraphobic, but I had to care for my late Mother for many years, and I didn't get to leave very often. And I am shy on top of it. I started finding a few friendly chat rooms online that were for things I liked, and I developed a regular bunch of folks for support and friendship. After a few months we talked on phone and believe it or not, a few of the older couples actually traveled to meet me and visit with me so I could have someone to talk with in real time. Several of them started visiting every few months.
Ya never know, but maybe something like that would help you?
I'll tell ya what, being alone, and scared is horrible. My family has all passed, and I have spent a lot of holidays alone with my dog. So I REALLY understand.
Email me if ya would like to! ?

Answer 3

I have spent most of my professional life (25 years) treating people with agoraphobia and I promise that you can be helped. This is not like having a cold and you will never be “cured” there are a whole raft of personality and behavioural issues to address but you can learn to overcome/live with this but always beware of people offering a quick fix.

It is of absolute necessity that you seek help, the help has to be cognitive behaviour therapy based and you would benefit from the help of a close friend or family member to act as co-therapist (some self help groups can be invaluable but avoid the ones that promote sitting around and blaming your parents for your difficulties)

It is very, very hard work and very, very anxiety provoking but if you do the work the rewards can be immeasurable but then I suppose that’s true of most things in life.

Best of luck, John

Answer 4

You may like to speak to your doctor (you can do this over the phone) and ask him/her for some advice where you can get some councelling. Have you thought about why you stay indoors so much and why you are scared? These are probably the first questions I would ask myself then when you've worked them out you should have some idea of the councelling you might need. If you are too scared to meet new people you may be able to get some help within your own home. Just ask your doctor the best way forward and GOOD LUCK!! I hope it all works out for you. Ü

Answer 5

I'm a recovering agoraphobic.

A great first step would be, as someone suggested above, to find an internet group to get involved with. There are yahoo groups for everything. Find one that is interesting to you ... mine was fans of my fave music group ... and jump in. It's easier to communicate online. You start to learn that people do want to talk to you and enjoy your presence. That makes it easier to work your way into the 'live' world with small steps.

I used to have panic attacks dealing with people face to face. Now I'm out doing talks and book signings. It can be done. Take this first step and see how it goes. Work up from there as you can.

Good luck, hon. I know how much pain you're dealing with. Help yourself make it go away. If I can, you can.

Answer 6

Check out this site: www.stresscenter.com

It is the web site for the workbook called "Attacking Anxiety and Depression". Now, you may be saying to yourself "what does agoraphobia have to do with anxiety and depression?" Well, it covers all types of behavioral issues. I went through this program myself and I have to say its the best thing I ever did. Check out the web site, there are videos on there from real people describing their problems. There is also a chat room and forum where you can find some very nice people whom you can talk with.

Send me a message if you have any questions :)

Answer 7

First of all try to step out at least to a store, you can go with one of your family members at first to get used to it. Then just go from there to other places a few steps away, if you find it to difficult you should seek counseling, it can really help.
As for friends try to make some with people close to your family members, it's hard but you can't keep running from your fears, some day you will have to confront them and it will be a lot harder then than it is now.

Answer 8

I am now getting on my feet after years, the people before me have answered most things. I miss out on kids outings still, but get to the supermarket and have done a computer course. What helped me was a personal stereo, always had earphones in, helped shut out the world. Then i would just put it in my pocket, just for safety. Now i can go to supermarket my self, YES. Still working on it, but it does give a bit of comfort. Hope this helps.
Good luck, and i ,mean

Answer 9

My mum could have written this. The only thing that has helped her is learning to drive. She now has a car and never goes anywhere without it - as she can't - full stop. My mum has to use a suitcase on wheels to look round the shops with me and that's it - she goes nowhere else.

Answer 10

Maybe you could find some on line counseling that would help you. Unfortunately I don't suffer from agoraphobic therefore don't truly understand how you feel. Good luck.

Answer 11

Dear eek:
What caused you to stay inside in the first place?panic disorder,p.t.s.d.?are you being treated?soem agency's have people to come to your house;otherwise phone consultations?can you go out with others you trust?there is an excellent organization called AIM[agoraphobics in motion]that is a support group of others who are dealing with similar/same issues.please give thema call or go to their website.good luck.Lisa