"How Do Women Do It?" How do women juggle work, family, homes, friends, etc. & get done what they need to?

Question

What is “it”? Everything. I mean, women I meet, seem to have it all: jobs, families, nice clean houses, husbands, friends, great children – you get the picture. I have all of this, but I am a mess. Well, I almost have this- the house is never clean, I am stressed at work, nothing ever seems good enough for my children, etc. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am very thankful for all I have in my life; it is just that I wish I could manage it better. I just feel like I need more than 24 hours in a day to accomplish what needs to be done.
What really gets me is that no other mother I meet seems to have the same feelings. If I mention "it" I don't find support, & leave feeling inadequate.
Please email me ([e-mail]) and let me know if you are experiencing the same feelings-explain how you feel-also let me know if you have come up with a system to make your life manageable & how. I would love to put all the responses in a book so we can acknowledge and support each other.

Answer 1

Maybe their husbands help. One person can't make it all perfect.

Answer 2

I totally understand what you are talking about. ‘It’ is hard because we women now a days expect too much of ourselves. We think we are all superwomen. In the old days the men to work and the women took care of the home – not that I’m saying that’s what we should do. But we decided to join the work force and yet choose not to give up any of our other responsibilities. We try to do ‘it’ all and ‘it’ can be overwhelming. Not to forget trying to get some ‘me’ time in to keep our sanity between kids, work and home. Everyone handles this situation differently. I know people who get a maid service – yes it costs money but it takes some of the stress out. Other women I know try to do a weekend get a way with their girlfriends just to re-charge their batteries. Some get help from family if they live close enough and are willing to help. A friend of mine only worked part-time till her kids were in their teens – that worked best for her. I don’t know much about your husband – but maybe you could talk to him, explain how you feel and have him help out. That’s depends on his personality – I know some couples where the responsibility for all these things is divided and it works great!
The key thing here is to figure out what your priority is right now – is it your kids or your job? If you have a very demanding job with long hours – maybe you could try looking for one which is less demanding for now and is compassionate to working mothers. I wouldn’t say to quit cause at least in my case – eventually the kids will grow up and leave an then I’ll want something to do.
Hope I was some help – if you would like to talk more – let me know and we can email each other.
In the mean time – take a deep breath, make a priority list and do the best you can :) and dont be so hard on yourself.

Answer 3

The people that have it all together or as you seem to think probably just have a way of making it look like they have it all together. Everybody has days where they just can't do it all. You learn to say no when people ask favors(without feeling guilty). You leave the messy house for another day. I promise it will still be there. Nothing is ever good enough for children. Their Children! Managing your life is just accepting that everything doesn't have to be perfect to be good. Order pizza when your to overwhelmed to cook. Hide the mess when company comes. It happens. Just sit down and read a book or take a bubble bath and let the worries wash away. Maybe its just you don't have enough you time to clear your head. Get away for a weekend and try not to think about the problems in your head for awhile. Really if someone sees that your house may be messy once or you look like you haven't got it all together what is it going to hurt? Just say what the heck and move on. Believe me most people understand what your going through. Good Luck. Take the day off and relax!!

Answer 4

i know what you mean, i am a single mom have 3 kids all under the age of 7, work a full time job, and a parttime job every other weekend. It sucks, but honestly i just do it. I really don't complain to anybody, i really don't think anyone ants to hear it. but i know what you mean about trying to keep the house clean, i feel as soon as i clean one room go in the next the kids destroy the first room i cleaned. I usually get up early on Saturday morining and clean the whole house, i gave up during the week, i'm too tired. hope that helps, your not alone.

Answer 5

Ancient family values. Women were often in charge of the household and raising the children. They're against gay couples because a family is "supposed" to be a father, mother, and children. Not two fathers or two mothers. I would guess that it started in early biblical times, when they first came up with the anti homosexuality thing. But the women raising the kids and stuff was probably since waaaaaaay back in history.

Answer 6

Hi.I used to be like that.I had an anxiety thing. I am on Zoloft now to manage it and I can do almost anything. What I can't do does not stress me out.Piece of advise, don't worry about what the other women can do,there are some things that you can do that they can't.A big help too is talk to yourself not the funny haha talk to yourself but reason with.Rationalize, like when you are thinking ,"look at what they did or can do "and you get kind of down. Ask yourself does it reallly mean that much to me that she can do that and I can't. What is so important about that ect. ect....Your can help yourself a bit to alieviate the stress.Sit down and ask yourself is it really that important? Chances are your answer will be no.Good luck to you

Answer 7

First you don't get too stressed out. Make lists, make priorities, get really organized and don't sit down. The real key is DON'T SIT DOWN until you have "it" done. I find that as long as I keep moving things keep getting done. But when I stop...so does it all. Focus on what is important to you and get your family involved in all the other stuff...like cleaning and laundry. Best of luck...

Answer 8

not all women can juggle a family and all the other responsibilities
just most women grew up that way, always taking responsibility for everything and always cleaning
some people are nomal and get stressed, and don't always have a clean house, normal americans houses are never perfectly clean!!

Answer 9

Give the vaccum to your husband, / pay your children to do it
wear slippers in house.
Say to yourself the house is clean.

You are not running a chip fabrication lab to have you house at 10 parts per million of dust.
get good curtains or something that stops the dust flow into house.

Rest all may fall in place. Attack one issue at a time...

Answer 10

Its hard to do everything specially if we work, but it can be done we are woman and we can handle anything that comes our way we are really tired by the time we go to sleep I go to sleep by 11pm if I am lucky.We work 24 hours a day even holidays we really don't get days off.But in a way its kind of fun you always have something to do, and always rushing.Just get organized and you can do it.I carry and agenda with me.

Answer 11

i wasn't raised to be organized at all...my mom resented me because i look like my dad's side of the family and my dad left us. She is still in love with my dad and took all of her frustrations out on me. I am still a mess to this day!!! I don't over do the activities my kids are in and i don't have anyone to help me such as a mother or a friend. If you figure something out please let me know!!!!