Will you raise them to be strong independent women? To not rely on anyone to take care of them and to always stand up for themselves? Or are you teaching them to bow down to their men (subconciously) and always need someone at their side to feel complete?
I only ask this because I worry about my own children. My mother didn't raise me to be that way but here I am, bowing down to a man and my daughter sees me bust my as* waiting on him hand and foot because this is what he expects me to do and she wants to "help" me out. I want her to know she is an individual and at no time in her life should she ever feel as if she needs a man to make her complete nor should she have to sacrifice everything to take care of one.....
2006-10-17 02:30:19 · 25 answers · asked by WonderTwit 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I hope to raise my daughters to be strong women who can take care of themselves. At the same time, I want to teach them the importance of having love in their lives. I do not want them to believe that they "need a man," but I want them to understand what a blessing it is to find one that respects and loves them.
2006-10-17 02:40:03 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best to teach by example, but if you're stuck in a situation where more damage will come to you and your kids by the break up of the family, then teaching her that you want better for her than what you've known, is the next best thing. It's a hard sell to say "do as I say and not as I do", if you tell her that you were raised not to be that way, but you've turned out that way anyway. It maybe fibbing a bit, but tell her that the reason you have put yourself on the back burner is because your mom didn't really teach you what you're teaching her. This way she has hope that because she's being taught, that she won't fall into the same trap.
It's easy for people to say just leave, but I know that the woman in the relationship has to weigh a lot of things before she makes a decision like that, so leave if the benefits outweigh the negatives for you and your kids, but if they don't, then teach her that she has the knwledge that you didn't have to know better and not lose herself.
Good luck
2006-10-17 10:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way of knowing how she will veiw the world when she is put in that situation to be a wife, but I know that I have spent the past 24 years watching my mom be a maid for my father. When I got married I found myself to be the total opposite from my mom. I am a very strong willed indepndent woman with my own thoughts and opinions. Now I have a daughter myself, and I try to give her all the right building blocks to be a strong individual its just a luck of the draw situation. You can put ideas in the heads of your children but in the end they will be who they want to be. You said yourself that your mother didn't raise you to be the way you are. Yet you do what you were not taught to do. So even if you teach your daughter to be a weak woman she may not be. Alot has to do with her natural personality and instinct. Some people can take orders, and some can't.
2006-10-17 09:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by Steph y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 5 year old daughter. She is very self confident because if she wants to do something good I support her no matter if it's getting up with her dad at 5 o'clock, on the weekends because she's in kindergarten, and help him feed our animals or if she wants to have a tea party for her friends. I look at what she is interested in and try to cultivate that so she doesn't feel like she's tied down to one way of doing things. I teach her that she can take care of herself, but I'm there if she needs me. She knows a lot about life because I tell her the correct answers to a degree when she asks.
She can be a tomboy and she can be a girly girl. I just teach her when the right time is to be which one.Also, how to be a person who can take care of herself. She watches me do the things she needs to learn to do when she is grown. I teach her independence.
2006-10-17 09:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by greylady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that your daughter will take in how you raise her and every female that is important in her life and she will compile all that and be who she wants to be. my mother always told me that i would be a strong woman and that i didn't need a man, but i always loved the companionship of a male and part of me was a strong independant female (i never got into trouble for speaking my mind) but now i've adopted her ways (waiting on my husband hand and foot, staying home with my children and just being suzie homemaker) I struggle with the fact that i want a career and to further my education after my children are in school full time. I think that you should encourage your daughter to do and be who she wants to be. I have often thought about the same question with my 9 mo old daughter and that is what i have come up with i don't want to see her be confused about what she wants i want her to be sure of herself. good luck
2006-10-17 09:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by mom3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is being raised just as I have been, to be strong, independent and have her own mind. That may get her into some trouble down the road (since she is only 5 and already is extremely independent) but I have also taught her that there are consequences to her actions depending on when and where she is at that particular time.
2006-10-17 09:41:55 · answer #6 · answered by Athera78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 Young girls , 5 y/o an 6month Old , An let me tell you , when i'm done with my girls , they are gonna know how to do anything an everything for themselves. Once they get to the driving age , they will know how to change there own oil , work on there cars , do there own laundry , clean etc. I was brought up to be very independent, an you can bet your as.s i'm gonna pass that along. This bow down to your man stuff is crazy .. in no way will my girls ever be like that .
2006-10-17 09:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by lilredhead 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My parents raised me to be independent. I was always told to never get in a position where you have to depend on a man to survive. I don't "bow down" to my man, we have a complete 50-50 relationship. The best way to teach your daughter to not be subservient to a man is by example. By her seeing you bust your butt to make your man happy, she is going to think that is the way it should be. Just as children learn that spousal abuse is okay by example, independence is taught the same way. Today, my mother and father are very proud of the woman I have become.
2006-10-17 09:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by mlc24_1980 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know, regardless of what she sees or is taught you have to trust that she will develop her own personality and with that she might be idependent or not. Also remember thet as we grow up we tend to see things differently, we realize that are parents aren't "right" all the time and we start finding flaws in them. My mother used to be one of those that bows down to her man, and i grew up hating all about it, i i never wanted to fall in love nor get married, i thought "hey, if i get a man i'll wear the pants", today, i've been married for 5 years and have two daughters, i DON'T bow down to my husband even thow i love him, i try to teach my girls to respect their father since most the time i'm the authority figure(we agreed on it), but i'm waiting to see how things go as they grow up and i hope they can come to me when they're in trouble so i can teach them bit by bit to be their own person.
2006-10-17 09:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by cuamiloca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 15 years old BUT if I were your daughter I would be sad to see you busting your *** for a lazy man even if it is your husband. I dont mean it in a bad way. You should raise her to be independent and not to rely on a man to make her happy.
But why dont you talk to your husband???? Set down the rules. Tell him what you want.
Anyway, Good luck!!!!
2006-10-17 09:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋