how do u gain confidence?

Question

i have zero confidence and need to gain some if people are nice to me i think y are they being nice what do they want iam a nice person will help anyone buit i think im boring i think all linked tom deppresion

the problem is i dont know what i need to do when i make freinds they use me even my own family somtimes i cry evry day cos i dont want to feel like this ive tried to get as job no luck evry one is telling me to grow up stop being so angryive got so used to people doing it i doubt evry one only people i trust are my mum my daughter an my hubby

Answer 1

Believe you are worth it.
If you dont believe you are worth anything then people will see in you that you are worth nothing. This is an imprtant question you asked and I hope you are ready to do the work it takes.

Answer 2

Donna I am sorry you feel this way. People are nice to you because you are a nice person and they obviously want to have you as a friend. No ulterior motives. Every day when you wake up tell yourself that " No one in the world is going to be better than be today. I am the best" If you think about yourself in a positive way then you'll become more and more confident. Try doing things that youv've never dreamed of doing before. Surprise yourself. And just remember that if a person can't accept you for the way you are then they know where the door is, its not your problem. Good luck.

Answer 3

Depression is a destructive force, you must try different things until you find the one that starts to affect your self esteem positively.

Join a club/society/association, you know sports, music, arts, drama etc. Getting out and meeting people will help you to become more interesting. ( I am not suggesting that you are boring, but having suffered from depression, I know that being in that state can really bore other people and turn them off. You find yourself with nothing else to talk about except yourself!)

Doing things will help you be attractive to people, they will admire and respect you for doing something about it.

When joining in with others you must refrain from speaking endlessly about depression and moaning about how life is so difficult, which as I said is so easy to do but is a trap.

All the time you worry about your confidence you run the risk of perpetuating the condition.

Do something, achieve something and feel proud of it.

Those who say they can, CAN!
Those who say they can't,........ WON'T!

Good luck

Answer 4

I have dealt with the same problem. What I have done is started telling myself that I am a good person and I have worth in this world. I've dealt with this constant negative message playing in my mind for years that has been telling me that I am no good and worthless. When it starts to play I choose to turn it off and tell myself that it's not true. I also have asked others what they like about me and use that to reaffirm myself. It's not an easy undertaking but it is worth it. I also deal with depression but I am learning how to deal with that also and not let myself get too down. When I feel myself pulling away from others I purposely put myself in situations where I am surrounded by positive people who will make me feel better. I also will help someone else. It's great to get your mind off of your own short comings when you are focused on someone else . Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Here's one you may not have expected. Take up running. Great for your body and mind. Find some recreational runners -- I've found they are a very easy-going bunch will enjoy having another running buddy along for the ride.

Think of the confidence you will gain when you complete your first 5K, 10K, half marathon, etc. etc.! So many people think they cannot run, but believe me, we come in all different shapes and sizes!

Answer 6

Be positive at all times get out and mix with people and find things to talk about that are funny and interesting that will boost your confidence and you only think your boring , i'm sure you are a nice person Good Luck Donna

Answer 7

Well the thing is my friend... You need to let it out if you had Emotional Damage than (Depending on what type of Damage it is say Anger or Sadness) then play a game or listen to Music that suits your mood. For example watch a Violent movie if you have anger in you are sad watch a comedy to cheer you up Play a Game like Hellentry to Let your Power out on the enemy or play the sims to play around...Listen to heavy metal...or Techno.. Gaining Confedince is hard.... but Fixing Emotional Damage is somthing else i dont think Confedince is what you need

Answer 8

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Oftentimes, people see kindness as a sign of weakness and they take advantage of you. This is not your problem, but theirs. Just being the kind and caring person that you are and you will find people who appreciate you for what you are. As you make friends, you will gain more confidence in yourself.

Answer 9

do something different quit being a door mat and co dependent you say others dog you don't let them ...gain confidante by doing things that make you feel good about you don't let others be the judge of you ..you live your life they do not..sounds like you need to gain some trust in others stay away from those you feel un easy about most people who have bad intentions get theirs in the long run

Answer 10

I went on a self discovery weekend, during which I was challenged to talk openly in front of the group about intimate details of my personality. It was the most difficult weekend of my life, but also the most life changing.

Acting classes are also a good way to get yourself out of your shell.

Challenge yourself to change.