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hi, i know this might sound weird to some, but i have a massive fear of meeting someone when i'm out clubbing etc...i'm 24 and i'm not a bad looking lad, i am not really short of offers but when i get approached by a girl i often say "i have a girlfriend" :/

i have only really had 1 girlfriend and sexual partner (18) and when we split up, i kissed another girl in a club - thing is (embarrsing to say) but i was useless...now ive been scared for life through it :/ i just try to avoid it.

i'm 100% straight, i love girls...but of couse my friends are talking wondering if i'm gay or not...thing is i'm just scared of embarrassment, i know its something i need to get out of though as ive already turned down girls most lads would shoot me with a shotgun if they knew lol.

can somebody tell me i get out of this? (ie without talking to a doctor) as i don't think they can give any advice, but its defantly psychological, thanks for the help.

2006-10-17 02:07:04 · 7 answers · asked by uk_steveo 1 in Health Mental Health

7 answers

I can't help you but do know that your not the only one who is suffering through this. I am the same way. I'm scared of being in a relationship also. I want to be and dream of it, but when asked out..I'm like, sorry I'm busy, etc.

2006-10-17 02:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♫ Insane_Princess ♪ 5 · 0 0

Maybe the hookers and flut teases turn you off bar flys are not a good catch and they smell you sound like a nice guy at this age seems like people especially young men think they have to get the quota in what chick they can bang and how many.. it is adolescent ..seems like when your not looking for dates to keep up with your friends and their flut ways you find the woman that is right for you slow down you will find a true love by being a gentleman and if your dumb friends think your gay they are not your friends there has also been folks that just don't want or need a partner.

2006-10-17 03:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by squawwitoutamule 3 · 0 0

Dude, I have the same fear of relationships. It might be due to some deep insecurity you got hidden in yer psyche. I am terrified at times to even approch women. One thing you should try is: Next time a bird talks to you and offers a date or soemthing... just say yes without even thinking about it. I understand this may be alot easier said than done... But, once you do it and find out the consequences are slim to none. It may become easier to do it in the future. Also.... Maybe some of these chicks are just looking for a one night stand?? www.artofapproaching.com This guy will send you free newsletters w/ advice until you unsubscribe!!! I can send em to you if you would like, that way you don't have dude buggin you. I got em all saved in a folder, just ask me and ill send em w/o delay Im at Dagoose420@yahoo.com, my mane is matt.. Hope to hear from you!!

2006-10-17 02:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Matt S 2 · 0 0

Yes, you are not alone. I'm married and still fear my relationship. I constantly continue to sabotage it. Advice for you though, start chatting on line with people. Find a site that you feel comfortable with and chat away. It could give you the chance to chat and learn how to relate to people, then maybe won't be so scary out in the real world. I have been chatting for over a month now and it's been better for me than the counseling ever was. Face your fears and you will feel much better in the long run. Don't Wait, Start Now. Try camstreams.com, there are lot's of UK's there, friendly and fun. Mature or regular chat, check it out.

2006-10-17 02:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

Suppose it is not psychological? Historically inability to function/perform sexually was almost always assumed to be psychological but recent findings have shown that to be wrong. You might consider finding out NOW if you have a problem that is actually physical. Most likely you do not. Most likely you were too inebriated to perform. But what is the difference? You are not 'performing' whether the problem is physical or psychological.

If you see a doctor about the problem he might prescribe some training wheels for you, i.e. Viagra or Cialis or Levitra. With some 'assistance' you might be more sure of yourself and be able to overcome your fears.

2006-10-17 02:32:27 · answer #5 · answered by Shinbones 1 · 0 0

There's only one person who could perfectly help you with this....YOURSELF...you have to find courage to accept consequences that will come your way wether bad or good.... just be optimistic in your approach so you wont get rejected...and always think that good things will happen with a simple hi...it can be a new friend... a steady relationship....a confidante...or maybe the right person havent come along yet....sometimes it really takes a certain spark or magic before you will be able to do things you dont know you are capable of doing...you can wait for that or maybe draw enough courage to just do it...

2006-10-17 02:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by trying to be 1 · 0 0

consult a doc

2006-10-17 02:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by $P$ 2 · 0 0

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