A guy calls 911
- Help me, my friend is dead! We were walking and suddenly he just fell over and died! What should I do?
- Calm down sir... First, make sure that he really is dead...
A shot can be heard.
- Done, what's next?
2006-10-17 01:37:18
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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There was a blonde cop that pulled over a blonde lady that had been speeding on the highway, the blonde cop walked up to the window and asked to see her license and registration. The blonde driver finds her registration but cannot find her license. So the blonde driver asks the blonde cop, "What does it look like?" The blonde cop replied, "It's kind of square and has a picture of you on it..." So the blonde driver fumbles around a little bit more in her car to find it... she finally came across a square compact, opened it and saw that it was her! She handed the compact to the blonde cop as her license, when the blonde cop opened it she said "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am... I didn't know you were a cop...!"
2006-10-17 10:15:32
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answer #2
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answered by Fatty McButterpants 5
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A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning.” I’m not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife.” He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,
He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming, too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year".
2006-10-17 08:40:12
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answer #3
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answered by Sexy_Bunny 4
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i like this one
There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"
The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?"
But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.'' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.
The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!''
2006-10-17 08:45:58
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answer #4
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answered by ngbreeca 3
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Two prawn are swimming along one day and toby says to christian "i wish i was a shark" and as if by magic a magic cod comes buy and grants his wish was granted but when his friend sees him he runs of scared, He goes off depressed looking for the magic cod and asks him to put him back to normal the magic cod complies and so toby swims back as fast as he can yelling to his friend "im a prawn again christian".
2006-10-17 09:47:50
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answer #5
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answered by Krayden 6
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A man is going to the forest and saw there is a very cute woman
tied on a tree, amazed and naked...
-What's happened here?
-I was goint to to the forest and suddenly Ithey tied me on a tree and raped me ...
-did you shout?
-Yes, I was...
-Did you ask for help?
-yes...
-and nobody could hear you yah?
-nobody!
Then a man began taking off his trousers....
He said: - eh,There are so many deafs in this world
:)))
2006-10-17 08:45:02
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answer #6
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answered by badaforum 1
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One teacher teachs the children in the kindergarden at the first time.
-If anyone wants to go to toilets, just raise your two fingers up.
-We will fell better when doing that? Said a boy in the middle class.
2006-10-17 08:43:26
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answer #7
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answered by MGG 2
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Two nuts are walking down an alley. One was a salted.
(assaulted)
2006-10-17 22:24:14
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answer #8
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answered by Craig B 4
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A little boy and his mother sat in church on a Sunday morning.
The little boy said, "Mommy, I have to piss!"
"No!" the mother said. "You have to whisper!"
The next Sunday, the boy is in church with his father.
"Daddy, I have to whisper!"
"Okay," the father says. "Do it in my ear."
2006-10-17 09:59:57
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answer #9
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answered by chocolate-drop 5
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engineering graduate to his sweeper brother: I've respect, i can sit in the society. what do u have?
Sweeper bro: I've the job!
2006-10-17 08:37:39
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answer #10
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answered by suruchi 2
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