could my son be suffering ADHD or ADD? UK answerers please?

Question

im worried that my son may be suffering ADHD or ADD, he is 10 and he has always been a very demanding child, but the last few years he has gone way over the top, he is constantly in trouble in school, he is always bullying his younger brothers and sister but more importantly his teachers say he has no concentration span, he sees no consiquence in his actions (stares blankly when been lectured about what he has done even smirks at the teacher on ocasion), he has just recently been suspended from school for beating up a boy 2 years younger than he, when asked why he done it he replied 'he was annoying me', im at a loss as what to do with him, i know he needs help but im very reluctant to go to the doc as i dont like the idea of him being full of drugs at such a young age. can any1 suggest a support group or something similar were i can get more info (UK answerers please)

to jaimelawjen i do not intend to get him on any kind of drugs that is what im trying to avoid, and i dont belive im trying to hide behind any syndrome, i also has 3 other children and none of them behave in the same manner as thier older brother does so i dont believe its the way im brining him up that is causing the problems as they all get the same same love and attention

Answer 1

How stressful for you, I really get mad at people who automatically blame the parent for children's behaviour, yes sometimes and probably more so it may be the parents, but if you have an extra demanding child because they have adhd/add then no matter how good your parenting skills are you still need professional help.
No i do not have a child with adhd, but one of my friends does, and i have seen this little 9 year old when he hasn't taken his medication and when he has and yes it seems like he is nothing but a really naughty child,, but it is not his fault... being a childminder you soon come to notice the difference between naughty children and a child who just has problems.

I would urge you to talk to your doctor, because even if you do not want you child to take drugs then at least he may be able to point you in the direction on family therapy counselling, which will help you as a whole family to deal with the stress of it all.

Bear in mind though that there is usually a long waiting list and you go through several months of referrals. (personal experience, i have a son who is 9 and who i knew for the past 4 years had OCD) only just this year has he now been professionally diagnosed! it took 4 years!..
talk to the school too, do they have a school nurse? they are normally school councillors as well as a nurse. your son may be very aware of his behaviour and want to stop it but be unable too which is going to make him even more frustrated and angry and then be caught in a viscous circle.

all the best and chin up, I'm sure you are a perfectly capable parent and ignore some of the negative answers you may get on here from people who are probably not even a parent themselves.

Answer 2

Hi,

I's recommend popping down to your GP and discussing the problem fully with him/her. A good doctor won't jump straight to the conclusion that he has ADD or ADHD, and will suggest a couple of other startegies first. One may be counselling, which is available free on the NHS. It may be that being asked the right questions by a qualified professional helps to get the the root of your childs sudden behaviour problems. If after following all of the recommended courses of action by your GP there is still no improvement, he may well be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. This is not the end of the world. There are so many different treatments available these days that there is no reason for your son to appear and behave like he is full of drugs. I'm a teacher, and a fair number of the children I teach have been diagnosed as ADHD, and they behave and interact with others in a perfectly normal way.

I hope everything works out for you. Good luck !

Answer 3

in my opinion there is no such thing as adhd

it comes down to what a child knows what he will and wont get away with. He obviously needs to be taught right from wrong, and i suspect he has never been disciplined in a manner to control him effectively.

You need to start teaching him the hard way, ground him, lock him in his room if he has tantrums, take away all of his treats, ban him from being around other peoples naughty kids, but at the same time, tell him you love him, explain what love is, reward him for doing good only, find out what he enjoys doing, (football or acting) and help him to do it, praise him, explain how it makes you feel when he does these horrible things to you.

Dont hide behind a syndrome cooked up to try and explain why kids are being sh!ts, some kids need more controlling than others.

And dont what ever you do get him on pills.

My youngest brother was a very naughty child, he was the youngest of 7, but, my dad merely diisciplined him when he was naughty, not physically, but he basically did the above, and he now has no 'syndrome' though im sure they would have attributed it to this if he had seen a specialist


***RESPONSE TO YOUR RESPONSE
It is a known fact that children can detect when they are not getting enough attention, as was the case with my brother, your son, unknowingly to you, may be feeling he does not have the same attention from you as his siblings, even though you thin this is not true. Therefor they act like this to get attention, they get attention, they od it again, and again. Break this cycle.

By the way, i have not written my comments in a derogotory way, i apologise if they seem so

Answer 4

It certainly sounds like ADHD or ADD do you see changes in his behaviour with different foods. Both of these conditions are not a result in bad parenting.. as i'm sure you will be accused of and indeed probably feel.. but they are a result of a chemical reaction in the brain. Much like diabetes, the brain requires glucose to make a chemical reaction to create an enzyme happen, but that reaction is not happening properly. the result is that the kid craves sugar and then his body reacts accordingly.

As the problem with ADD and ADHD is chemical, then why not use drugs to treat the problem? What is happening is that due to the enzyme not being created, the kids brains are not able to concentrate or focus the inputs that are bombarding it. i am informed that it is like looking at life through a moving collidascope. what the drugs ( usually ritalin) do is spped up the brain so that it is able to make sense of the inputs.

Some of this can be treated without the use of drugs.. but then you get on to trying to control diet.. and frankly for a 10 year old thats impossible.. there are too many outside influences.. a packet of sweets and you are back to square one. though vitamines can be useful Ritalin really is the way to go

Good luck you are so gonna need it!!

Answer 5

I'm not from the UK, but I suggest you have him checked out. My friend was going through the same thing with her son. He was really a handful. School kept telling her that he was either ADHD or ADD. She didn't think so....she thought it was something more. After Kindergarten and him only doing good in a couple subjects and very low attention span in others, she took him to the doctor. It turned out that he has Autism. That's why he did so well in certain subjects. They also have very low attention span and often stared into space and always wanted things just so. He often got mean if things didn't go the way he wanted them to. Autism, as it turns out is often misdiagnosed as ADHD or ADD because of similar symptoms. There is alot of testing involved if you wish to find out accurately. However, he'll need special teaching if it is Autism. My friend is so glad she checked her son out. All anyone wanted to do was medicate him. As being Autistic, he doesn't take meds, just special care.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

It may be a sign that your son has indeed got ADHD. My Son was diagnosed at a similar age. Dispite your worries about him being pumped full of drugs, it is still worth you going to visit your doctors who will have to refer your son on to a Psychiatric Health Specialist. Don't let the name put you off as these people are great. they will asses your son as to whether it really is ADHD and they also have the details of local support groups in your area as well as alternative methods to help combat the effects of ADHD using natural remedies rather than the much publicised Ritalin. I have found that a lot of my sons problems are closely related to his diet. When we reduced his sugar and enumbers intake his behaviour changed a lot over a short period of time. We have also found it very help full to get my son into group sports events like football as this gives them a natural outlet for there energy and aggression without resulting in problems with the school etc .

Answer 7

Get some information from the web about ADHD or ADD.

However it sounds to me more as if he has dyspraxia

Also check out this website www.ddat.co.uk, thay have exercise programmes to help children and adults with the conditions:-
Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, ADD and ADHD.
You can do a basic online assessment and get some information off them.

My son has just gone through the programme and he is a changed child.

Answer 8

Now adays the schools will try to enforce medications on kids and I was one of those parents which my son was on medication and it screwed up his bowel system baddly. He has not been on meds for 3 years and he is 12 now.Keep him active like wrestling or football after school , something to wear out his activeness.Eventually he will grow out of it and mature. Give him reponsibility. Like this summer I had my son mow lawns for other people which he got money for and showed that helping others was better then hurting them. Just remember always think back to your childhood and how you were. We all have things that we aren't proud of. Also give him a notebook and have him write down his feelings when he is angry or upset about something. Then tell him to reread what he has written. Majority of the time he will realize how stupid that was. Good Luck!

Answer 9

YOU need to put your fears aside and go and see what the doctors say. research any treatments they suggest.weight your options... I have a child with adhd and add . They act like this. I had to put my child on lose dose meds. He is an a student now . at night the meds ware off . But I wrestled and feel guilty. BUt you havent even been to a docotor to see if there is a problem. Go to a doctor at least get a possible diagnosis . then weight your options,,, But put your fears aside.. go get educated ,,, you dont have to take the meds if a doctor says but its not a bunch of drugs its usually a lose dose of something.. Go to a doctor and at least get a diagnosis then move on from there ,, maybe he needs therapy. no meds.

Answer 10

ADHD and ADD are the same thing according to my psychiatrist. I was diagnosed at 25 years old, the medication (adderall) almost ruined my life with it's side effects. It helped but the side effects were awful. My daughter is thought to have it as it is hereditary they say. I will not put her on it, I will just have to work harder with her

Good luck