im worried because im isolatin myself right now in my flat all the time, i dont want to become delusional?

Question

or lose touch with reality..reason i say this is because i spend all the time in my own world, on myspace, living in non reality. and when i do go out im full of panic an anxiety, i cant look at anyone in the eyes, i feel alot of paranoia to, about peoples lookin at me, im still very much full of anger and rage, which i used to have alot of and everytime i went out i used to have aggressive rage outbursts at people and put myself in alot of danger..well that hasnt really gone away, i just think ive learned to deal with it better. but i live in fear of totally exploding with rage, i keep myself inside all the time, but when i do this to. i struggle with extreme low moods, i feel horrendous and have nightmares, plus have racing thoughts alot. i get worried& scared that in the future or now i wont be able to deal with reality, & have my needs met. have a job, move away, get my own house, have a girlfriend. as i realise u can only get all these when your mentally well, how will i survive ?

Answer 1

right now you are staying where you feel safest...and there is nothing wrong with that...if you were delusional...you wouldnt give a damn what you were feeling right now...but you are very concerned about your future, and are very aware of your feelings...This is although painful for you...at least good in the sense that you are NOT delusional over things...right now you feel safe from the world and the way you react to things until you get well...however...I can't understand why you won't go to a hospital...not to stay...but as an out patient..and let them know who your new doctor is and that you cannot wait till November to see him...that is ridiculous to make you suffer like this...just part of the system,...but i would go to an emergency room and tell them that your meds are NOT working and you need to be evaluated and want new meds immediately...but not to 'check' in...you can tell them you are not conemplating suicide,..but are suffering from severe anxiety,.etc...Good Luck and God bless..and you seem to be dealing with reality just fine...the reality is,...you need new medication and a good doctor asap

Answer 2

I understand how you feel with the delusions and scared about the future. I'm schizoaffective, and these things plague me constantly too. Maybe what's happening is you're going through a type of relapse, because your situation was exactly me a week ago and now it's steadily getting better. All I can say is try to realize when your delusions are getting too strong and teach yourself how to crush them. This will help in more ways than one. I hope you get better, things like this is never fun.

Answer 3

Don't be scared of loneliness. Think of the time you spend on your own as a recharging time and when you do go out, consider it, you are merely releasing energy that you've saved. Most of introverted people, they lose energy when they deal with people. For them quiet time of their own is the time they need. If you use this as a utility to control yourself when you go out or when you're alone, life will get easier. The most important thing is you CAN control your life. Don't lose hope.