My b/f & I have been together for approx. 3 yrs. Our relationship hasn't been w/o it's problems, some of which I'm STILL fighting to come to terms w/ even now. Earlier last year, he & I had been going thru a rough spot & finally one day he told me that he wanted to "see other people". We went our seperate ways (i.e. w/ other people) but remained friends & kept in contact w/ one another. After about 2-3 months of this (+ the emotional turmoil to go w/ it) we decided to get back together (of all times around my b-day). Everything seemed fine at first, until one day about 6 months ago. I was still suspicious of his activities & curious as to what EXACTLY had occurred when we were apart (even though we shared some not so pleasant details w/ each other) & I snuck into his e-mail.. only to find e-mails to and from other girls soliciting some undesirable behavior- from while we were STILL together last year. He's been confronted and has apologized but I'm still dealing w/ it. Any advice??
2006-10-16 18:37:19 · 12 answers · asked by persian_princezz777 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should forgive but not forget. Forgiving will get the negativity away from you and your mind. If you forget you may repeat the behavior of allowing someone to mistreat you.
I would advise you to go to counseling so that you can learn to have healthier and more productive relationships. If you can't afford counseling, there are websites that offer self help.
Life is too short to be in unhealthy relationships. Our relationships should help us grow mentally and spiritually, not to mention the fact that they should also contribute to our physical health.
I wish you all the best and pray that you will become healthier.
2006-10-16 18:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him? Do you need him? Do you care what he has done? Is there things that you have done that he has forgiven you for? I'll tell you, the answer is yes to all. Heres what it has come down to, he has broken trust, its sad and just wrong, but it was done a while ago. People go through all sorts of stages in their lives and people change their outlook, opinion, and relationships. Now I don't blame you for still dealing with the problems, you feel worthless, but that didnt happen yesterday, it was the past not now. I know that sorry doesn't cut it sometimes, and really the only thing that can, is time, which means faithful time spent with you. Give him time, don't be hard on him though, cause he could be going through a hard time too, and he certainly doesn't need the "poop rubbed in his face". He knows what he did was wrong, he will change or he wont. Just love him, and let him know that you love him, then he will never forget that even though he messed up, you still loved him, and didn't bash him. He will remember that when you mess up. Yes, trust is hard to build back up, but don't make it any harder than it has to be. Things always turn around for the best, for example: you realized what has happened, and now you have to take action early on in the relationship and fix all of this and make it stronger. OR he doesn't
2006-10-17 02:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by 96.7 KCAL ROCKS!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant tell u what to do but I can give my advice and my own story. I was with a guy for 3 years he cheated, lied and beat me all the time. I even come home alot of times to find him with a female in our bed. When u get fed up with it you will leave. My advice is do what makes u happy. If you fight now now it is not gonna get any better. Remember once a cheater always a cheater. Take care and keep your head up
2006-10-17 01:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by meme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he has stopped that then i would forgive him but if you feel that you can not trust him at all then do not go back with him your relationship will fail without trust now relationship. But if he has a apologized and said he will stop maybe give him a chance but only you can decide if you can trust him or not.
GOOD LUCK
2006-10-17 01:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had to lie to you and cover it up then he doesnt exactly seem like the "A" type personallity. I say if he's not still doing it, and it was that long ago, forgive and forget. If you can't see yourself doing that then move on
2006-10-17 01:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he really take back what he's done? Or is it just that he's guilty that you found out? There's plenty of factors to consider when forgiving a cheating bf.
2006-10-17 01:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cheated on you and apologized....then give one more chance..
but dont make it easy on him....
see if he is really sorry...
and if you have concerns that he is going to do again or is doing then you need to move on ...it will hurt a lot but its better than being a fool...
best luck!
2006-10-17 01:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by Cutie77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a cheater # 1. Leave him right away becuase he will never change.
2006-10-17 01:40:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people change and regret things they did..we all do something stupid once in a while...if i were you (and if you love him) i'd forgive him but be very cautious of what he's doing...next mistake he does, we'd be through forever!
2006-10-17 01:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me you would be alot better off with out this guy, find someone who will love you for you, and one who still believes in honesty and loyalty. you will be much better off, plus you deserve alot better.
2006-10-17 01:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋