Do you practice "abstinence only"? How does it work?

Question

How does it work? It's waiting until you marry to know how bad your partner is in bed? Or it does involve being bad on your honeymoon because you have absolutely no experiense whatsoever? Shouldn't abstinence programs support divorce, or are they the principal cause of divorce?

Here in Brasil free sex is very common, and has been growing a lot since ever! (yes, redundant, i know, but true) and the government managed to keep control of STD's! The number of new cases of AIDS infected people here is inverse proportional to the investments of the government's health care. I'm surprised that the biggest economy of the world cannot do the same

Link: What i said about abstinence really would fit better if said about "cohabitation" => "shouldn't be criticized", but i adapted it (cheaply, I admit) to sex, my bad. But your fellow poster, above you, sees an even bigger picture: too much sex, even in marriage, cheapens sex, experiencing with partner in your youth is an important way of discovering yourself and growing up emotionally, that's why it is an insticnt, like going to the batroom, you can't help it! Just use the rubbber. Or practice abstinence and grow up repressed.

Garbanzo: I believe that the statistics weren't made in base to anonymous declarations, but rather searching factual data on hospitals. AND they were made by respectable independent institutes, many of which were said to have agendas against the government. Your coutry has something to learn from mine

Answer 1

"Abstinence only" is a HUGE mistake. When you realise you've made a mistake it's too complicated to go back.

Answer 2

Well, I'm glad that Brazil has had success in keeping control of STD's and AIDS! Perhaps we in the US might be able to learn a thing or two from you there. But your rhetorical assertions on abstinence are not true, and just stereotypes.

Sex is about alot more then how 'good in bed' someone is, and if thats all it is for someone, then that person is shallow. Sex is about an intimate relationship between a husband and wife, shared only between them. Oh yes, it feels good and can be alot of fun, and that's a wonderful thing. But anyone who divorces because their spouse isn't 'good in bed' wasn't in love with them (and probably didn't even understand what love is) and was foolish to marry them in the first place.

Abstinence until marriage isn't just about AIDS and STD's, though it certainly doesn't hurt those situations. It's about the difference between real love and real relationships vs. lust and emotion run amok. It's about stability vs. instability. Family and marriage has been the cornerstone for most of human society since the dawn of man, but too often people throw it out for a few minutes (or a few hours if you know what you're doing) of physical pleasure. They would rather have sex than a real lasting relationship.

Sex with those you aren't married to cheapens sex, and too easily can remove the specialness of that intimacy with that one special person. You might note that when pre-marital sex was less common (at least in this country), the divorce rates were many many times lower. So the whole theory that you have to "try before you buy" is completely bogus. And if you are using how good someone is in bed as a basis of whether or not to marry them, you need to go find out what love is.

If your spouse isn't good in bed, teach them, and learn yourself. That is part of the intimacy experience, and something special you two can share between each other.

Answer 3

Yeah, I'm not too big on the abstinence only campaign. They don't only encourage waiting, they discourage protection... so when teenagers slip up and have sex anyway, they won't have a condom because it was discouraged. Woops... more unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Very impractical and unrealistic. It also attaches a lot of shame and blame to sex. Be ashamed of any sexual contact and, indeed, any sexual feelings or impulses until you're married. It attaches such an insurmountable stigma to sex that it's never going to enjoyable even when the totally inexperienced person finally DOES get married. That, and it's built up to be such a huge event, such a monumental and profound act, that it inevitably ends up being dissapointing. How sad...

Answer 4

If how good or bad your partner is in the sack is the base on which you built your marriage, then yes I would agree that abstinence leads to divorce.

As for AIDS stats for Brazil, if what you say is true, then congrats to Brazilians. But I will caution that statistics are based on whether people are honest with their answers and if the data collection was done properly. And any government may have an agenda when it comes to presenting AIDS data in their country.

Answer 5

Well, it's not like Brazil gets all of the immigrants that America does.....

*half-sarcastic*

Answer 6

i cant get no satisfaction