My boyfriend (the love of my life) dumped me after 11 years and while I was going through the heatbreak and depression I gained over 30 pounds. I am finally feeling better after almost 2 years and I would like to date again and eventually find another partner. I need to get back out there and want to try online dating but I am still in the process of losing weight and let's face it, I AM chubby. I know that I am still attractive and have a pretty face but I know am a bit overweight and most guys don't like that right? I don't want to date fat dudes either. It's been a long time and I am lonely. Should I wait until I lose all the weight and look hot again - it will take about 2-3 months-or should I just go for it and see what happens? I don't plan on staying this way and don't want to be rejected by men who might like me more when I am thinner. Should I wait until I am thinner? I am in my late thirties.
2006-10-16 17:06:40 · 13 answers · asked by Bay Area Babe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl... we need to talk. Let me tell you a Little back round on me. I am a fat girl, I always have been. For the LONGEST time I was scared of my body and what other people thought of it. I hid myself behind over sized sweatshirts and ugly jeans. In today's society, the media lets us know that we need to be thin. Every "hot" woman is about a size 4.
But there comes a point in every girls life that she realizes how beautiful she really is. It took me over a year to get over the "fat" and love my "curves." The year involved me reassuring myself that I was wonderful. I threw out all my clothes (and under ware) that made me feel not-sexy and slowly built up a wardrobe that always makes me look great! I can tell you know that I am still fat but my confidence is high, my looks are cute, and I know that I only deserve the best guy out there.
I bet you are beautiful... don't let your weight get in the way of your personality.
Plus, A guy should like you for the inside, not just the outside...
And when you lose that extra weight, you'll look THAT much better!
2006-10-16 17:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by Karena C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bay Area Babe, 30 lbs isn't that much! That is a real traumatic thing to go through to give so much of your life, 11 years to your boyfriend and he then dumps you. What a schmuck! I say, "LOVE YOURSELF!" And the men that are worth anything, and there are some really Sweet guys out there that will find you, Pretty Hot And Tempting girl! You need to not think so much about weight, but get rid of that attitude of thinking that just because you get thin you will find Prince Charming! When in reality the Prince is a frog! And while looking for the Prince you pass up an opportunity of a really great guy. So concentrate on loving yourself, because worrying about your weight is excess baggage that you don't need! Be happy being chubby, be happy being YOU that is the most important thing. Because you don't have to loose weight to look hot, you already are Hot! And no I am not a Lesbian!! I am a big mama myself and believe me, I found a very special guy that loves me, for who I am. And Bay Area Babe, this Babe is 255lbs of all natural woman!
2006-10-16 17:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I can understand a woman being self conscious about a weight gain, that in no way should hinder nor be used as an excuse not to date. In your case it may be your weapon against being hurt........if you are overweight you won't have to worry about a possible relationship in which you may get hurt. I sense you were deeply hurt by your break up. Whatever the reason, dust yourself off, buy a new outfit, get your hair done, and get your behind out, life is too short for excuses, and any man who only loves you for your figure is shallow and not someone you want any ways. Take it from a man, who has dated all shapes and sizes, I got over the "Barbie Doll" girl friend thing when I hit my 20's, THANK GOD!
2016-03-28 12:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my opinion. I have never been thin and never had a problem attracting men. Usually, I have my pick of the crop. There might be some shallow individuals who reject one solely based on dress size, but I don't want to hang with a prick like that anyway. It's all in the way you feel about yourself. Self confidence can be attractive all by itself. You seem unsure about yourself and I don't think that any diet is going to help you with that. It starts with who you are inside. So drop a few pounds if you want to, but don't use those extra pounds as a reason not to enjoy life right now. Go for it!
2006-10-16 17:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lynda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no. Honey it doesn't matter how big you are, there are plenty of guys out there. Not every man wants a model chick. I am bigger than all my friends, at 175, and I can get more guys than they can, and they are cuter than me!!! And I promise that I don't have "Easy" or something tattooed on my forehead. It is all about confidence. Honestly. If you believe that you are worthy, so will the guy. Its cheesy, but it works. More guys will say they like a confident woman with a few flaws than a model chic with too many to count!!! If not, then they are just idoits and you don't need to talk to them anyway. :) If you know you are beautiful, so will they.
2006-10-16 17:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by greenbug728 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg im going through the totally same situation except me and my man have been together for 12 years and now hes out of my life i met this really sweet and sincere guy on line hes black and such a sweetheart the only problem is that when he last saw my picture i was thinner than i am now and im so ashamed because when we lost touch i got back with my kids father hes puerto rican and hes still the same asshole hes never gona change but i really want to go back to the way i was before me being with my kids father only made me put on the weight and i dont feel attractive they way i used to because of it i really wish i didnt let my self go ....because now that ive gotten in touch with this really nice guy whos sweet caring and sensitive to my needs i feel as if i balloned up and its driving me crazy i hate it heres my email address if you ever want to talk ok ellie_m1123@yahoo.com........i look forward to hearing from you maybe you have some advice bye.....oh just to answer your question no you shouldnt wait you never know .....E
2006-10-16 17:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by ellie_m1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can tell you is that if i where you i wouldnt be all to woried about how much i weighed or how hot i looked all your gonna do is just get guys who want you for your pussy and thats all hell a guy should love you for who you are and whats inside not your looks most guys are hung up looking for a girl who weighs 115 or less has blonde hair blue eyes and big **** and most guys arent looking for nothing serious just a quicky to get there rocks off
2006-10-16 17:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by aaron b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me to be the perfect way to vet the guys who would only be interested in you for your hot bod. Date now.
2006-10-16 17:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most guys love big gurls. im trying to gain weight but i cant i tried everything
2006-10-16 17:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are these mutually exclusive?
Do both. Date and diet. Have fun!
2006-10-16 17:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋