Would you get into a relationship with this type of guy?

Question

There is this guy I like, who is kind, intelligent, and a likeable person in general to his peers. However, he has many of his own issues to deal with, like a pessimistic view on life and people, and family problems. He is depressed most of the time and very cynical. Would you ever consider dating or getting into a relationship with this type of guy, with so many issues of his own?

Answer 1

The question is back to you. What do you like about him ?
And what is an expectation of you when it comes to long term relationships ?

Will he be able to give you what you want to be your second half ?

There is no perfect person out there. But being who he is, will that work out for you ?

If not, then just remain as friends. Don't expect to change someone to your liking. If it doesn't work out, it will just be worse.

Answer 2

I definitely would if he was a woman. If you do like him, I don't think you should even be asking this question, if you know what I mean.

However, beware. I kind of fit the general description almost seamlessly, and let me tell you us cynical bastards can be extremely harsh, that's why we're cynical. Last important relationship I had -I gotta admit, enough time has elapsed-, my girlfriend found my intellectual quirks unbearable, I became very opressive, I was going thru a pretty hard time with some stuff (it's okay now though, I had most of the people involved in that issue killed, and the rest have gone into hiding), and that stuff really f*ucked us up. Problem with being pessimistic is that it's just another monkey to feed, you need constant confirmation of your perversely morbid outlook, and when you're really down, you'll look for confirmation in the most sordid of manners, many times in the areas of your life that are the most important to you.

On the other hand, after all ended with that girl, I tried having a relationship or whatever you want to call it with a girl who was a little more 'upbeat' than me -the previous one I mentioned was also Hell like me, in her own little kniving ways, too- and I found it to be an apalling situation, I had to literally get rid of her, cut her clean out of my life. I kinda felt bad for her, she really loved me, it was actually pretty amazing, but that feeling of amazement went away soon, leaving only a little bit of shame and the newfound certainty that people are just as expendable as I was to that first girl I mentioned [Note: perhaps this last bit is clarified and almost corrected by stating the fact that she left me for someone else; it took some time for me to realize that it wasn't really that she was leaving me for that nameless a*sshole, but for everything I WASN'T].

Tricky situation, go for it, you'll never know till you are there. Do bear in mind that being with a genuinely interesting woman DOES have its side effects, however, it depends on the cynic what these side effects actually turn out to be. Give it a shot, and see where it takes you; if you don't like it, f*uck it, my guess is that he'll find some sort of satisfaction in pining over you anyways.

Godspeed, and may the Force be with you.

Answer 3

You know allot of guys with issues that are very intelligent are missing something a feeling or even loneliness.Could be that guy has been hurt by friends or other relationships.I am a very intelligent guy Sometimes I have problems big What I am missing is true love.So do not knock guys with a few issues.Another person outlook and opp ion.Is like is like a Shepperd never finding his sheep.You need to talk to this guy.Check his heart then you will know if he is worth per suing.His issues could be very small.

Answer 4

the fact that he is pessimistic doesnt mean hell ruin ur life. u mentioned that he is highly intelligent and likeable to his peers if he is why cant he be likeable to you?? I guess he tries to share his problems with you, u shud listen to those problems and try to solve them.

Sounds like he is successfull and wants more power and money from life, trying to acheive more and more...common for ppl who set high standards, and remain depressed pessimistic some times.

Remeber most successfull ppl had pessismistic view of life and had depression that kept them going..ted turner, sigmund freud, Issac newton and even abraham lincoln had depression.

I think u shuld try to understand this guy if u will he will forever be faithfull to you. he exhibits traits of successful ppl.

Answer 5

A B S O L U T L Y NO B L 0 0 Y W A Y.........the guy has more baggage than Sydney airport takes in over the course of a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone that get's involved with any person (male or female) that has all those issues needs their head read

Answer 6

NO NO NO! Never knowingly date anyone who has more problems than you. If he's pessimistic and depressed, he's only going to bring you down. Plus if the relationship gets serious and you want out, he's going to turn into a psychopath.

Answer 7

This is not the type of guy u should be dating for sure, being his friend yes, but he needs professional help and counselling it seems. If you were dating him, u would have the natural instinct to try to help him and heal him, but u would only be brought down because he is not healthy enough to take on a relationship right now. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Answer 8

If you want to be pulled into an abyss of depression yourself then GO FOR It!!! I call guys like that "Diamonds in the rough" they have alot going for them, everyone likes them, and you think by being his girlfriend ( a positive influence) that you can change/save him. Unless you have a large "S" on your chest, you won't be able to save him! He has to save himself. AVOID THE DRAMA!!!!!! Good Luck.

Answer 9

you may start up a phsical courting with him first. he's plenty extra in all probability to have a courting with somebody he's already actual with. and that provides you with extra leverage interior the top. additionally merely be open and honest with him, instruct him which you fairly decide to be there for him

Answer 10

I'm married to that guy. I am the complete opposite. My guy is not depressed, but pessimmistic As long as it is not so bad he gets you down all the time.