Should the cultural difference upset me?

Question

My fiance and I have begun living with each other as a tester to see how compatible we are before committing completely. We have a lot of cultural differences, her from Panama and myself from Scotland, but we do seem to get on very well in general, But, she has a very strange custom that she brought from her family. She wishes to see the staus of my stools each time I go. She says that it tells a lot about the health of a person. Apparently the whole family over there would gather round and discuss it, and monitor changes. I can understand, from a biological point of view that it makes sense, but I just cant seem to get over it and have taken to going only at work. It always ends in arguments and I feel that the cultural difference in this respect could be too much. Should I just ´chill out´and welcome other customs, or should I stand my ground. Please, help! Thanks

Answer 1

flush before you walk out,.......unless she comes in with you. or do you announce oops I did it again, I am not so innocent.....

come check it out....you get a kick out of it something......one word flush and be discreet...about your pooping habits....

Answer 2

Your first mistake is "living with each other as a tester". Testing what, this isn't the make-up counter at Macy's! You date, go through life experiences and see if you are compatable. If you stay together for over a year and things are great, go another 6 months and if it is still great, do couples counseling to see what is hidden under the nice exteriors. If that works out well, then for heavens sakes, COMMIT.

If the cultural differences are a problem now they will be a problem down the road and magnified. I wouldn't want anyone checking out my potty times. Tell her it isn't your custom and to respect your privacy in the privy for heavens sakes.

Answer 3

Maybe you could compromise and go to a GI doctor and have him analyze your poo and discuss the results with her. Also mentioning any recent regular check ups you may have had where a medical professional said you were in good health would also help your case.
It's obvious by the fact that you quit pooing in your own house that this bothers you an awful lot. I think it's unfair of her to just expect you to be ok with something that's so foriegn and wierd to you.
It's great that she wants you to be healthy, though. Focus on that fact when you talk to her about it. Tell her you want her to know that you're healthy but there are lots of other ways for her to have that peace of mind. Be willing to get checked by a doctor more than recommended and let her come with you. I would hope she would agree to that.

Answer 4

Your fiance is crazy-too freaking compulsive about her culture. My mom has a friend form Panama, but I don't see her checking my shiit out every time I take a dump, or know that she does. She needs to cool it,if she doesn't listen, then try doing something normal in your culture but might seem kinky else where, to see how bad you piss her off-just to make a point, maybe then she'll get it. She has to respect you, and that's a very personal thing, I bet she would feel embarrassed if you were to check on her, every time she was on her period.

Answer 5

ok Well I'm from the USA. In my opinion I would sit her down and have a talk with her. Take her out to dinner [If in a public place she might be less to start a scene] Let her know how much you love her and you understand how there are cultural diffrences between the 2 of you. But that you love her very much. Tell her that comunication is a very could key to a long, loving & lasting relationship. let her know once again that you lover her very much. Tell her that in ya'lls reationship to come that you are willing to give up or change one of your clutural diffrences from your side if she could do you the favior of doing one for you. Let her know again how much you love her and then soft spokenly let her know that her looking at you poo-pooo after you go bothers you very much so. tell her you love her again, then let her know it is uncomfertable at this time too share your poo-poo with her. Now don't forget if she is willing to give up this for you there will come a time that you will have to give up something for her. It is called compromise. Shoot if you have to let her know after ya'll are married for like 20 or 30 or 40 years she can look at your poo as much as she wants. But for the first 20 ro so years you would like to keep it to your self. Trust me i don't want anyone looking at my poo and i don't want to look at anyones poo. I have 2 children and i've helped raise many more I've seen way enough poo. Hope this helps and I wish ya'll the best in your lives to come.

Answer 6

I would accept it so she wants to look at your BM I say more power to her. Me, I wouldnt do it but hey if it makes her happy and you love her, More power to her. I dont know any customs from either sides but hey customs are customs and I dont think you can change that. So basically I'm for the Chill out point. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 7

If it bothers you that much, just tell her, yes, I understand that it might have been a custom in your country but were not there anymore. I don't think she should be ramming her customs or beliefs down your throat, just as you should not do to her.

Answer 8

is this for real?

just tell her you're not comfortable with people looking at your stools. she's gotta respect that. why do you only go at work? can't you just flush before she gets to look at it?

Answer 9

Just tell her that in America a mans poop is his private business.

Answer 10

IF SHE WANTZ 2 LUK @ UR POOP Y DONT U SAY DAT U SHUD DEZERVE 2 LUK @ HER BEWBS CUZ DEY R PROLLY HOT N STUFF CUZ SOUF AMERICANZ R KINDA HOT LOL N E WAY U EVEN MITE B ABLE 2 TEMPT HER TO SHOW U HER *** CUZ U CUD SAY DAT U WANT 2 CUZ ITS A FAMILY TRADITION IN SCOTLAND DATS Y MEN WEAR KILTS N E WAY CUZ Y WUD U NOT WANT 2 LOOK AT HER UNLESS U R GAY? R U GAY? IZ DAT Y U SHOW UR WIFE UR POOP? OMG U R A SIKO.