Is this considered rude of what my friend did today? Or, is she acting immaturely?

Question

I think my friend is jealous of me. I just got a part time job at a Law Office and she works at a store as a cashier. I go to school part time as well. I just told my friend about my part time job and she did not seem to be happy for me at all. She did not say congratulations or anything. She asked me several questions about my job and I answered them. But, when I said bye to her after my visit, she said bye to her best friend and said bye to me without making any eye contact whatsoever. My best friend told me congratulations to me and told me she was proud of me. Even my family told me congratulations. But, my other friend seemed kinda jealous or upset. I congrautlated her on some occassions on getting good grades in college. She is 28 and I'm 21. Would this be considered rude of what my friend did? Or, is she just acting immaturely?

Answer 1

One of two things. She is happy for you but is jealous. She isn't your friend anyway. Some people just can't stand other people that are doing better than them. Plus you are younger and doing better too. If she is your true friend she would have put her feelings aside atleast for show and congratulated you. After you left she could have did whatever. But a friend doesnt hurt the other. Watch her from now on she may just be an associate. Continue to better yourself no matter what people think of you. Don't let her get you down you are doing good for yourself and continue to do so. Congrats on your new job. See I said it and I don't even know you.

Answer 2

Hey, if you asked me i'd say don't judge too harshly, too fast.

Yes the fact of what she did is clear in your mind but maybe the 'why' of it isn't. It's natural to feel jealousy in a situation like that because seeing someone else's success might hit home how hard life is for you.

Iimagine a woman who's tried to have a child for years & then a niece or something has one or two or three all without effort; whereas you'd be happy for your relative it's human that your pain may hit your emotions harder.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, her life isn't easy. I'm sure she's not where she wants to be in life & her reaction, despite being less than diplomatic and 'friendly' is reasonable.

Help her if you can, i'm sure she feels the way she should for you or maybe she was shocked at the time that you weren't being diplomatic, or something about the situation was a surprise for her.

if you really want to know what's in her head, talk to her. Apologise even, for not being sensitive maybe & explain that you expected a different reaction from her but... and see what she says!

Answer 3

It doesn't sound like she meant to be rude or act immaturely. She probably felt distracted after hearing your good news because she may have been reflecting on the fact that she has a less interesting job than you do and the difference in your ages may have made her feel a little bit of a failure. Don't take it personally because it probably isn't you,she just has some soul-searching to do and this news may have jump started the process. After she has had time to think she will most likely offer her best wishes and may even apologize for her lack of earlier enthusiasm.

Answer 4

First of all, good evening! In response to your question, I wouldn't say that she's jealous, she just may be going through something right now. A wise man told me to never let a moment's situation, dictate your next move. When a person deals in customer service, or just works period, they have good and bad days, however, some people, quite possibly like your friend don't inform everyone when they've had a bad day, they just kind of hold it in, and seem pretty detached. Bottom line don't let this negative outweigh all of your friends good. Give her the benefit of the doubt, it'll be alright.

Answer 5

I think you're right. It sounds like she's jealous. However, she could also be feeling inadequate since she is 7 years older than you and you seem to have a "better" job. She may be feeling that you get "all the breaks" and she doesn't get any. She was rude, but if she is a friend you like, give her some time and try to be understanding.

Answer 6

I think she is acting poorly. It may be that she doesn't feel good that somebody younger than her, is doing better in life than she is. But no matter how she was feeling she still should have said congrats, or something like that. Just let it be, and the next time your around her try not to say anything about school or your job. and then eventually things should just go back to normal

Answer 7

She could have had any kind of thing on her mind. You better hope your every move is not put under as much scrutiny as you are putting her under. How do you know while you were sitting there disappointed about her lukewarm congrats and lack of eye contact, she wasn't thinking, "When was my last period? I hope I wasn't fertile last night when I was gang raped by those neo Nazis". Give her a break, it's not like she made an actual rude comment.

Answer 8

Salam Taking money from a married man without his permission is not allowed or haram in Islam It is not only considered as rude and disrespectful because it is called as stealing She can ask for it from her husband and he will give it to his wife although he should respect,love and help his wife

Answer 9

Just acting immaturely.And if she cant be happy for you then she isnt a friend.
Work hard on your new job cuz its your effort that got you there let her alone.
Oh and by the way....Congratulations!

Answer 10

Your friend is acting insecure... She's probably jealous that you got a better job than she has... :D Maybe she just doesnt know how to put on a plastic face and congradulate you...