So i found out that my girlfriend has a crush on someone in her college (she doesnt know that I know). I read that she likes him and that she plans on asking him out to coffee.
Today she calls me and tells me that she needs someone to do a photoshoot for her (she is a photographer) and of course its him. She said that she needed someone else to photograph besides me(per her teacher) -- I found out that this was a lie.
However, over the weekend she said she loves me and wants to be with me etc. She even mentions us as friends etc while she is up and im devistated because of this (we have been dating for over a year). I'm beginning to wonder if she is cheating or what...
what should I do? not worry? find my own study buddy?
2006-10-16 15:11:51 · 24 answers · asked by Kyle W 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we go to college about an hour and a half appart. we visit eachother every weekend.
2006-10-16 15:16:04 · update #1
we have spoken to eachother about this... i have hinted towards "if there is someone else or not" and she keeps saying no... and that im the only one...
2006-10-16 15:17:47 · update #2
the FLIP side is that we both bought plane tickets to her house for christmas... her mom is buying my ticket as a present.
I cant break up with her... it would be wrong... IDK WHAT TO DO
2006-10-16 15:42:36 · update #3
well im sorry about her liking another man, but you are the one she is with and no, dont be jealous. she seems like a nice enough girl to not cheat on you, but i dont know her as good as you do. don't woory about it, it might just be a stage for her. shes with you, thats all you need to worry about. and im sure you check out other woman, even though you are taken. i hope she isnt cheating otherwise, maybe you should talk to her.
just because shes on a diet doesnt mean she cant check the menu.
2006-10-16 15:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by snickelfritz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every appearance of being the ol insurance policy... IF this guy doesn't work out, I'll keep it a secret and go back to my old b/f.
I'd probably say, "you know... I've been giving it a lot of thought... You're probably pretty lonely up there at the university and there are probably other guys up there that you may have an interest in... I think we should open up the relationship and let it breathe a little..."
HER FIRST THOUGHT will either be... "He's found someone new OR he knows!!!"
When she asks, "Why have you been seeing other girls?" Simply say, "No, I just feel like you may get tempted to see other guys and they see you not with other guys. They may get the idea that you're not seeing anyone. Since I'm so far away, I can't expect you to never fall into temptation's trap. So I figured I'd make it easier for you to spend some time and make a few friends."
This will come out of left field, it will drive her crazy with anxiety... "Is he lying to me? Does he have another girlfriend?"
If she takes you up on it, she wasn't committed to you in the first place. If she doesn't take you up on it, you're the man and always will be the man.
Don't be jealous... I'm thinking she's not that committed to you so it's time to find a study buddy... If I'm wrong, she decides not to be the first to take the move... You've got her for life, buddy.
2006-10-16 22:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... why would you not be worried. Think of it like this. YOUR girlfriend plans on asking another guy out!!!!! Does that sound like someone who is truly in love with the boyfriend? Does it really sound like someone who is committed to their boyfriend?? Unless, you guys have an open relationship? C'mon you know the answer already. Go with the gut!!!! Of course, it's her teachers' fault, and she couldn't find anyone else at college to sit in front of her camera, except the guy she has a crush on!! Of course.. it's a lie. Do you tell the truth to someone ... when you are trying to hid something from them. She mentions you as "friends" when she comes up to visit with you. OH wow!! Honey.. when you are looking out the front door, she is escaping out the back door. I know it sucks... but long distance relationships usually don't work. You can prolong the agony, and stay in.... or do some spy work, or grin and bear it. I doesn't sound good at all. She probably does love you, but not the same love anymore. I would take at least a breather from her, make her question what you are up to. Good luck!!!
2006-10-16 22:31:04 · answer #3 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is doing this now what is she going to do in the furture! She is doing these things behind your back so don't sit back and wait for the worst thing to happen to you. Nip this in the butt now. You will have trusting issues in the future with her if there is going to be a future. You need to talk to her and ask her if she is happy with you and if there is anything that both of you need to work on in the relationship. It sounds like she is attracted to this guy and it could lead to other things if you know what I mean. She isn't going behind your back for no reason. She could hang onto you while she is secretly seeing the other guy to see if it works out with him or not. I'm sure she is telling you that she loves you because she probably does and it is also a word of habit to say to you anyway. If she is in college away from you, there are too many guys to have a chance with her while you are not around. You need to make a stand now and tell her how you feel about her going behind your back and what are her intentions with this other guy. Why is she not telling you about him????
2006-10-16 22:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Kyle,
Well you found out she lies. I know the investment of a year into a relationship and the lies start. Be thankful your not married and found out she cheater and liar. Bottom line, she can't take half or more of what you own. I am sorry your heart is hurting. Welcome to the real world. And since she wants to friends, then give her the space she needs and light the fuse to the rocket ship.
O'hock
O'hock
2006-10-16 22:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by orcahock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, babe, but it sound like your girl is holding on to you just until she finds out where things are going with her "crush." Rather than be honest with you and telling you that her interests lie elsewhere, she is leading you on just so she won't be out in the cold should it not work out with the newby. Lose her and find yourself a good woman who will love you for all your good qualities. It will hurt at first, like a cut with a knife, but that's better that being constantly cut with a knife that's dull. Good luck.
2006-10-16 22:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch out- girlfirend is wondering whether the grass is greener on the otherside. If she's not cheating, it sounds like she intends to do so, or at least toy with the notion of it. It sounds to me like she wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. Basically dude, she wants to have you there waiting while she explores her options. Either cut her loose or confront this situation asap.
I hope this helps.. I know it's hard but you gotta stay true to you.
2006-10-16 22:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by prettytiger23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off u need to spell "jealous" properly.
Second: 1 year is not a lot of time...
Third: 1 year is obviously not enough time for the two of you if u feel the need to trap her in a lie but not confront her about it...
STEP up or u'll get stepped on!
2006-10-16 22:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by FoReal! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I behave like this, I'm simply curious about the person. Lying and making things up isn't the best way to go about it, but she probably didn't want you to get the wrong idea. Listen to your gut on this more than anything.
2006-10-16 22:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask her if she has any feelings for anyone in there and see what she says if you have some really reason for what you think then you should show her and tell her that you are commited to the relationship and if she's not then there is no relationship and you should just stop with all the games and cofusion on her behalf.
2006-10-16 22:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋