My boyfriends family really doesn't like me, and I don't necessarily love them. So, what should I do when I get married to my boyfriend? I DON'T want people that I don't like to attend my wedding, but they're his family and I'm sure he'll want them there. What should I do? ( By the way, I KNOW that they'll criticize everything about my big day. That's the BIGGEST reason why I don't want them there.)
2006-10-16 14:49:35 · 18 answers · asked by Curious&can'twait 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You will have to deal with his family for the rest of your life once you are married.
Perhaps he feels the same way about your relatives.
Perhaps you should elope.
2006-10-16 14:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK How there U, That is he's fam how would U feel if it was him asking U not to invite Urs, 1st. hey let's get real whether U like it or not that's the package No U don't have 2 love them N they will get on Ur nerves every commuting moment but remember U don't get 2 pick Ur family that's life, 2nd.as Tim from project Runway says " Make it work" aka don't be around when U don't have 2 3rd. if it comes to worst talk 2 them about it in a civilized way( good luck with that, very difficult I should know) N 4th. The Hell with them N their judgment of YOUR WEDDING (hello) Do it however U want 2 and Enjoy Ur day let their disdain slide off U N B happy No one should take that away "Fight the Power" but "With Style".
2006-10-16 22:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by Nitemuse 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One thing to remember is that your not only marrying your fiance your marrying his family. You NEED to try and make it better between you all or your marriage will NEVER work... I knew couple who were together for about 3 years, and after the first year the family includig myself didn't like her. And he ended up breaking up with her. There is no way a marriage will work if you can't get along with the family. I think that you need to talk to your BF or Fiance and tell him that you want to have a talk with his family to get everything on the table. Good Luck but I would really not think of marrying the guy if you can't get along with his family, it will never work in the long run, trust me.
2006-10-17 15:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by totallylovableandinlove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to deal with them one way or another. Take the high road and do everything like you are supposed to. If you do this, they will have nothing to talk bad about. If you don't want their input to the details of the wedding, just have your future husband explain to them that you have been looking forward to this day for a long time and that you know exactly what you want. Let them know that if you need any help, you'll ask for it. Good Luck!
2006-10-16 22:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by kcastillo1220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to settle things with them before you ever walk down the aisle. And first you need to make sure that you and your fiance are on the same side. If he is favoring them over you, then you need to find out why. And with an open mind address why they have problems with you. In turn, your bf needs to do the same for you. He should be willing to talk to his family and tell them if they have a problem with you then they have a problem with him. If that is not the case you need to reevaluate the relationship. Not only are you marrying him but his family will always be in his life, therefore in yours. You can't tell his family they are not welcome at the wedding. That would be his decision. I have had problems with my future in laws but we have worked them out and my fiance has made it very clear how he feels about me to his family and that I come first. There are still a couple members of his family that I'm not crazy about but I want them at my wedding. One, because is it important to my fiance for them to be there and I would never want to deprive him of that. And two, because they can see the love we have and witness along with everyone else our joining in marriage. Good luck to you, I hope it all works out for the best!
2006-10-16 22:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by blueeyedlovebug 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are marrying your fiance but his family comes with him. If you alienate him from his family that could breed resentment later. It doesn't sound like you'll be starting your marriage off on the right foot. You need to address this issue BEFORE you get married. Go to premarital counseling if you have to because when you get married you are stuck with this family and one day children will come and it might just get more messy.
2006-10-18 01:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by hkeys_1982 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With that positive outlook on things, I can see you and his family are going to have a great future together. How long have you been dating your boyfriend. And why is it that your relationship with them is so sour. If you are planning on marrying this guy you should be trying to do what you can to mend this relationship. Not only for your guy, but for your sanity And of course they are going to be at your wedding, there you guy's parents after all.
2006-10-16 21:58:56 · answer #7 · answered by Aubrey's mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a good reason u think they don't like u? If they all are at your wedding, u have to act civil n pretend all's ok, at least. Then, it's up to u to decide how to handle them for the rest of your life. All best wishes !
2006-10-16 21:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry him you will come into contact with them sooner or later and MORE often as your relationship progresses.
I strongly suggest you find a way to make peice with them (and with you) or you postpone this marriage until you do.
Your husband to be can mediate this and ensure that it gets worked out.
If you don't do this, I think you may be in for a very miserable family life and forcing your husband to chose between you and his family on every issue.
2006-10-16 22:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by 67bird 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you and your husband are happy with the day nothing else matters. Don't let your family or his come between the special feelings you have for each other. It REALLY doesn't matter what other people think.
2006-10-19 14:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋