I met someone on a friendship site. We were in contact for about 3-4 months. He sounded good. Then we exchanged phone numbers and started talking on the phone. He sounded terrific and I started feeling good about him. Then he started insisting that we meet. Finally I agreed to meet him. He lives in another town. So he came over to my town and put up in an hotel. I went over to meet him. He received me nicely, offered me refreshments and told me that he was very happy to meet me and, frankly, I was happy too.
After a while he started making advances. He embraced me, kissed me and started to make me undress. I told him that I was not prepared for that at least so soon, that is on the very first meeting and that I had only thought of a good friendship at least for the time being. But he seemed adamant on taking me to bed. I finally rejected him and left the place disgusted. I haven't talked to him since, though he has been trying to contact me on the phone.
Did I do the right thing?
2006-10-16 14:37:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds as if you are questioning this because you like him.
If you don't then don't bother with the rest of my answer because in that case you should see to it that there is no further contact.
So assuming you still like him.
He absolutely did something that didn't work and that can't be forgotten.
Question is what are you going to do about it.
It really depends on your other opportunities and whether you think there is any hope with this guy.
If you have lots of options maybe you want to forget him, I'm assuming you're not in love with him.
If you don't think you could ever trust him again, I think you should forget him unless you just want sex or a short term relationship but it doesn't sound as if that's enough for you.
If you choose to see him again, you have to do it your terms only if you are safe etc. take a lot of precautions.
And the answer to your question:
A relationship involves two parties and both of them agreeing to do things together, not just one person deciding what the both should do. You took the option that worked!
If you had let him have sex with you not only was it against your wishes but it would have set a precedent for any future relationship with him where he gets his way by force rather than by agreement, you probably would not be happy in this sort of relationship.
2006-10-17 01:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 possibilities here. Either he's trawling these friendship sites for sex or he got the wrong idea as to where his trip over to you was going.
If you liked him why not just answer his call and see what he has to say. Tell him that it upset you. You can insist on keeping the realtionship at a distance or maybe meeting for lunch some day in the future. If he's playing with you then he'll give up when he realises that nothing is going to happen anytime soon. If he sticks around you can carry on being friends and see where things go naturally from there.
At the end of it all though, if you don't feel confortable being in contact with him anymore just ignore him. You've done nothing wrong here.
2006-10-17 01:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Sounds like this guy was after your pu55y. And don't feel that you were the only one he was pursuing - there are others he chats up on-line with the intention of having sex with them.
You did the absolute right thing in leaving him and the hotel, he's not a friend, he does not care about you.
When you meet a friend for the first time, you want to get to know them, talk, laugh and have a good time, and not bone them at the first opportunity.
They guy is a total mor0n, a d1ckhead.
Ignore him.
2006-10-16 18:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tatiana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you absolutely did the right thing. Since you were not ready for what he wanted, you had 100% of right to refuse him. However I am sorry that it happened in that way.
I am not too sure what his intentions were when he decided to meet you. It could have been for the sake of friendship, but it also could have been for taking you to bed. I really can't tell after all, as I was not there.
It is up to you if you want to take his call now. Maybe he wants to apologise, but maybe he wants to curs you. But even if you decide that you will no longer keep contact with him anymore, no one can blame you for that, as you have been disgusted.
But for now, you have to know that you did the right thing.
2006-10-16 15:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by ono 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you did the right thing, sorry to hear that once again these sites seem to be the playground for both men and woman who have nothing else to do but play games or think that all who use these sites are after one thing.
If someone really cares and respects you, there not going to try and get you into bed first off.
2006-10-17 00:35:09 · answer #5 · answered by LMH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, absolutely. Don't you doubt yourself for one minute. Proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so good to hear.... A young girl stood up for herself and didn't let some horny guy lie her pants off. All he wanted was a good time. Now he wants to start up the friendship because everyone else has caught on to him. Forget him. You used your head by getting out of that motel room, keep using your head and stay away from him. I wouldn't suggest that you meet guys like that again, though, next time a guy could seriously hurt you.
2006-10-16 14:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by Just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u did absolutely the right thing. stay away from this guy he sounds very dodgy. be really careful in the future. if u do meet anyone again then make sure it`s in a very public place in the daytime and make sure that someone at least knows where u are and carry a mobile fone wiv u and arrange for someone to fone u at a specific time. u really can`t be too careful. please stay safe and take care
2006-10-16 16:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by graham f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luv, you did the right thing. Although, I would reccomend that you, next time, meet someone like that in a completely crowded place (like a pub).
He is a git and you shouldn't feel the least bit bad. If someone doesn't listen to YOU, they don't care what you want. Who wants a selfish prat like that anyway?
If you would have let him have his way, he would have been guilty of non-consensual rape. Even if you let him have his way, you still didn't want it. Thus, it was rape.
~*~Smo~*~
2006-10-16 14:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Smo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep you definately did - you stood your moral ground and stuck to it.
Hes probably embarrassed now and thats why hes trying to contact you.
If you guys had some kind of intimate conversations flowing through emails etc - are you sure he didnt get the wrong end of the stick as to why ye were meeting??
He may have misread your signals so if thats the case then I can kinda see his side - its upto you whether you want to see him again though. xx
2006-10-17 00:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you definitely did the right thing....he assumed that you were gonna drop your nickers just because he's been intouch for a few months...you should have kicked him in the knackers....he made advances to you...what does he take you for...well done for not contacting him again...he's a slime...and yes you did the right thing by leaving the hotel...it could have got ugly...jeez some men eh?
2006-10-16 14:54:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋