Does it truly ease your own suffering to think of those who have it "worse" than you?

Question

This is advice that is frequently doled out to those who complain about their circumstances. "There is always somebody who has it worse." While I find this logically a good argument to stop whining, it does not truly make me FEEL any better. All I know is what I know. I realize that there is a burn victim somewhere, somebody in a political prison, a wife being abused, all right at this moment... But it doesn't ease my own pain. The ironic thing is that thinking of people who have it "better" does serve to make me feel worse. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

This is a revision to my answer :)
About your first comment.
I agree it doesn't ease my circunstances when someone tells me that there is someone outthere who has it worse
but let me share this experience. I am going to be a little more specific:
A long time ago, I was unemployed and I was very depressed. Many friends of mine toldl me the same advice you mentioned. But there was this friend of mine, who sent me an email with the same advice, but she also included pictures of children in other continents starving to death and living in worse conditions.
When I saw those pictures of children trying to drink water from a dirty place and without shoes. it really made me reflect to ease my depression a lot. I recognized at least i had shoes to wear and water to drink and foot to eat and a house to live. I might not have a job at that moment and that is really depressing and desperate but I had to feel better after I saw those pictures.


The bad part was that at the same time i found relieve to my depression, I also felt horrible for those children..... but after all, i think it was good, because somehow I decided I was going to contribute to help a child in need whenever I have a better income.

My point here is this: when people use that advice to make you feel better, all you can do is: imagine there are people in worse conditions right? but if you'd have the chance to see with your own eyes what you are imagine at that moment, you'll probably feel better.
That's my impression based on my experience.

It's never the same to imagine something than to seeing it.
On the side of the ironic thing, when you just feel worse thinking that others have it better: Yes It's true, but just think this: Life is "NOT ALWAYS" a pleasure to someone. Life has lows and highs, no matter how rich or poor you are or how succesfull or unsuccesful you are.
Maybe those who are doing better than you, are just having a high moment in life, a high moment that you probably had before or will have somewhen. A high moment that won't last forever.

Just remember : the best is yet to come =)
like this helps you feel better right? hee hee...
well, I don't like when people tell me : the best is yet to come, but, i have also seen there is always good stuff just waiting for the perfect moment to come to our lifes.
And this is not something I made up, this is the reality in my life and the life of others.


XOXO

Answer 2

No. I don't think it would ease my suffering to know about those who have it worse. In fact, if people start telling me about all those who are worse off, it just makes me more sad! So life is just cruel & people suffer needlessly? How does that help?

I think it is just people's way of saying "Don't whine. It could be worse." But the point they're trying to make (even if they're tactless in making it) is that you have to be thankful for all that you do have. It's that glass half-empty or half-full thing. Though that's the last thing you want to hear when you're feeling bleak. If you try to develop a sense of gratitude for all the beautiful things in life, it can improve your mood overall & make the disappointments & uglinesses in life easier to bear. You have to appreciate the small joys in life. The little things. & the big things, the things we take for granted. Just think how lucky we are to be able to see, to hear, to feel, to move. So maybe the key isn't to think of people less fortunate, but just to remember how very fortunate you are.

Answer 3

Put your burdens on Gods shoulders. He will never give you more than you can handle, and each person is different, so each person can carry a larger (or smaller) load. I do not know what your worries are, but the best advise that I can give you is this..

Deuteronomy 1 (New International Version)
11 May the LORD, the God of your fathers, increase you a thousand times and bless you as he has promised!
12 But how can I bear your problems and your burdens and your disputes all by myself?

Psalm 66 (New International Version)
8 Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard;
9 he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.
10 For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.
11 You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.
12 You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

Answer 4

I get really upset when I think of the children who are worse off. I tell my son all the time he doesn't know how good he has it. Sometimes I have a hard time going to sleep at night wondering how many children are going to bed hungry and abused. It is heart breaking.

Answer 5

No I feel worse when I think of people who have it worse off than I do and then I feel guilty. But the simple fact is some people do not have enough because some people have too much.

Live simply, so others can simply live.

Peace.

Answer 6

You're right, while it is a reality that there is always someone who is worse off than you, it doesn't lessen the pain you're going through, even if your own pain is relatively minor. We should all try to be more understanding of what others are going through. Sometimes all you really need is someone to understand.

Answer 7

I compare what I have endured to the suffering of others, and I am thankful that I have had an easier time of it. Looking at what others have had to overcome keeps me optimistic and encourages me. If they can face adversity, then so can I. It gives me hope.

I don't feel worse knowing that some people have it "better." We all have hardships, and I can't begin to know what they've endured.

Answer 8

We do make a number of our own suffering, yet there additionally are organic mess ups, as love everyday practitioner stated, that are no longer brought about by using us. it is going to be obtrusive that love everyday practitioner isn't announcing that the god he would not have self assurance in reasons mess ups, yet that we don't reason them ourselves.

Answer 9

Yes, it does, because I'm not that selfish of a person--when I think of people less fortunate than me, it inspires me to find some way to help them and puts my own life in perspective

Answer 10

My life has been so off kilter these last few years that I have to believe someone has it worse or I would do nothing but sit here and cry.