He wants children... but I don't. I've tried talking to him about it and he just says we'll talk about that more later. Am I the only one who thinks that is something we need to talk about NOW?
We are both 25, married for 3 years, and we have a great relationship... but this is a problem for me right now. I just don't see how he'll be happy with me if we don't have children and he wants them. I've had a miscarriage before and I just don't want to go through that again (one reason why I don't want to have kids) and with the number of starving and homeless people on this earth I just don't see how it's fair to bring another person into this world. (my viewpoint... and I don't think bad of ANYONE who wants/has kids because of that viewpoint!) Another big reason is because we have two different religions and I just don't see how we can raise children believing two different things.
What do you think?
2006-10-16 14:23:19 · 10 answers · asked by Love GOD as He loves us. 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
He says we can "come to a compromise about it one day". How can we come to a compromise about that? I don't really see a way to do that. If you can think of any compromises, please let me know! (I guess that's where that 1/2 of a kid comes in withj averages?!? lol)
2006-10-16 14:29:48 · update #1
I don't want kids period.... it's not just having them myself. I don't want to adopt kids or anything else... I just don't want to be a mother.
2006-10-16 14:30:40 · update #2
you should really talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. if he loves you and you love him things will work out... also.. as someone who also had a miscarriage, i understand your fear to go through it again, it is a very hard thing to deal with, i am sure you felt love for that unborn fetus, things like that do happen, we have to move on, i tried getting pregnant for over a year then finally it happened and now i have a beautiful daughter I am 32 years old, and at 25 i wasnt sure that i wanted children either, my heart tells you to try and be open minded as you dont know how you will feel in the future, and please dont push your husband away, a child brings joy into our lives like you would never believe. they make our world a better place, even with poverty and homelessness.
2006-10-16 14:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by livsmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he open to adoption?
I can honestly say that you cannot have a marriage that lasts without spite and resentment when one spouse desires children and the other does not.
I have been there done that, and heard of many who also suffered through it. Its not natural. God's first decree and command to man kind was 'be fruitful and multiply." its just not natural to marry and not have children either yourself or through adoption.
I honestly can say that if one doesnt want children they certainly should avoid having them completely and totally. But for those who do, it eats away at you, just as it naturally would.
Its not so much that you should talk about it now, you should have talked about it before marriage and worked out a plan. Its an impossibly hard thing, I dont know how to get around it.
I managed to survive it just because my husband completely changed his mind when i ended up pregnant and couldnt be happier with the thought of children now. Before was a completely different story. He'd have preferred nuclear holocaust to children. I dont know how it worked out so well, other than the grace of God that our child could have the love of his father.
I guess you two will just have to hash it out.
2006-10-16 14:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to both compromise... maybe you can just have one..and adopt two or something like that..thats what marriage is about giving in a lil on both sides so you both can get what you want and what you need....you do need to talk about it,..but its not a good time for it right now because he's proably just trying to understand maybe where your coming from and if you push the issue he may blow up at you....so just be patient and be ready to talk when he is...goodluck sweetie...follow ur heart
2006-10-16 14:29:03 · answer #3 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Love God and He Loves You,
I can see that this key difference is putting a strain on your relationship. Here is the solution, and its from the best book in the world, the Bible:
"And the Lord said to Adam and Eve "Knoweth each other, in several positions to be approved by me, and begat more of the same, and they will begat yet more, quite similar in fact, and they will begat more, much along the same lines but with different noses and hair."
The Book of Genitals, 6:8.
God wants you to reproduce - so give in and have children - or be sent to Hell on the day of judgment.
2006-10-16 14:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Pastor Sauce 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I do think it's important to talk about this now, because it's going to come up sooner or later. As far as the religon thing, my husband and I are two different religons and we are raising our son well. But it's ok that you don't want children, you just need to talk about it.
2006-10-16 14:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by just another girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok hunny here are they ways that I think that you guys can have kids and still make them work. You and your husband can adoped a child and let the grow up and deside what religionthey would like to be. I am baptist and my husband is prodistiont and we have one baby boy and we are going to let him deside of what religion. As I said before adoped a child or 2.
2006-10-16 14:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by Kerrie T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Didn't you two discuss these things BEFORE marriage? That would have been a good idea, because religion and children are pretty big issues. Good luck with that one!
2006-10-16 15:21:47 · answer #7 · answered by Caelan's mom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand why you don't want children. Are you upposed to adopting? Or you just don't want children in your life period?
It will be hard with the two religions, but it is possible.
2006-10-16 14:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Day 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you two can't come to an agreement that favors both of you on this issue then your marriage is doomed. Sorry.
2006-10-16 14:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your a woman you'll change your mind. all woman will have a time in life when you will realize that you want to have a Little angel in your arms.
God bless
2006-10-16 14:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by off_the_wall1991 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋