I've been seeing this guy for a while, 5 months or so. In the beginning it was ok, he took me for dinner and drinks a couple of times, but i always sensed that when it comes to get the check he is getting nervious. The next time we went out, I offered to pay for a meal. From now on he expects me to pay every time we are going out. I hinted him that i don't mind doing that once in a while and if it comes to that we should take turns. Well, he pretended that he did not get it. When it came to my Bday, he pretended that he forgot about it. I can't say that he is totally cheap, because when he is going out with his friends he pays for them. I feel like dumping him, should I?
2006-10-16 14:20:55 · 36 answers · asked by kitty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I commend you for being so nice and offering to pay once in a while. I admire that, and it's an enormous peeve of mine when I go on a date with someone.
They 'expect' the guy to pay....regardless.
Anyway, that's another topic. I think you're right on the money. He sounds like he's being a tight-a.s.s to me too.
I wouldn't just up and dump the guy. I'd talk to him and tell him that you don't mind pitching in, but he needs to pitch in too, otherwise you will have to go your separate ways.
Relationships take effort. Actions speak louder than words. If he feels you're not worth a meal, then what will his attitude be if you really need him for something?
You need to mention this to him, give him a little time to see what he's going to do. If he doesn't step up to the (ahem)...'plate'....then go your own way and find someone that will invest things in you. Chances are of he's cheap this way he's probably stingy with his emotions and physical love too.
Good luck.
2006-10-16 14:28:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it's because he read a self-help book that tells him to do all these things (I'm pretty sure). You said, he PRETENDED, and plus all these other things he's doing... Something's fishy. You are a good person for being able to stick up to this, and you don't have to feel emotional about it. Just make sure you go on "free dates" which means walk around the park and stuff. Give him a little nudge of affection to see if he reacts (but this requires patience since it's not felt until a week or so). After the week, retreat from "affection mode" to see if he reacts. If he does, then most likely, he may be into you. If you don't want to have fun, then just ask him and talk to him straight out about the issue (if it's so concerning, that is!). Remember, money isn't love.
2006-10-16 14:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by DN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I duno if you should dump him? Because if he seems to get a bit nervious when it comes to get the check, he may just have a few cash problems, who told you he pays for his m8's? he may of told you that just to cover up his cash problems. Just ask him, and tell him he needs to be honest with you. I agree that once in a while or taking it in turns to pay for meals is all you should be doing, If he asks to go out for a meal say: 'well id love to but i have no money!' n just see what he says and then he wont expect you to pay. Good luc. Hope this helps! : )
2006-10-16 14:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should dump him. I think that you need to talk to him and explain to him how you feel and ask him questions about why he doesn't pay and expects you to pay all the time. You might be surprised at what you learn and are you assuming that he pays for his friends whenever they go out. If after expressing yourself and asking him questions and thinking about if you are assuming things and you don't get answers that you like... maybe he really is a cheap *** and then if this is what you find out about him, then it is time for you to make a choice... is it worth paying for his time... if the answer is NO! then maybe you should rethink this whole boyfriend thing. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-16 14:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have just recently gotten out of the same situation. It sounds all too similiar to me. I believe that you've done your part by asking that you each take turns paying. He either just doesn't get it or doesn't want to. Either way, I say dump him and find someone who knows how to treat a lady! Good luck!!!
2006-10-16 14:27:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a astonishing man or woman except him being low priced, then do not split with him, yet him being low priced is something that must be worked on. adult males in a number of of situations seem after this stuff, yet do you imagine that you've given him the effect that you're taking care of to pay for therefore he doesn't ought to furnish you any? i do not comprehend what your finished difficulty is, yet something ought to be carried out. for sure it isn't all about money. you're literally not a golddigger and also you seem very autonomous, yet adult males ususally do take the initiative to pay for nights out like that. perhaps you ought to point out to him that you 2 might want to take turns, like sometime he will pay for plenty of each and every thing and the subsequent nighttime out you pays and probably which will damage the cycle and probably a pair nights out on city, overlook your wallet and be conscious how beneficiant he turns into. If he's not all that beneficiant then perhaps you ought to locate somebody else.
2016-12-04 22:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow he pays for his friends no problem? but for you it makes him nervous. Sounds like he is afraid you will expect him to pay all the time if he pays once. Dump this tight wad and move on to someone who knows how to treat a sweet girl
2006-10-16 14:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can pay for his friends then he can pay for you. The next time he asked to go out, say to him. Oh, by the way, I only have enough for me. You can cover yours cant you? If you, him and his friends go out. He buys them a drink, ask him if he'd get you one. But....at the same time you may want to start looking elsewhere.
2006-10-16 14:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by dreamz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite him out to dinner and right about the time for the check, excuse yourself to the ladies room. Find the nearest escape and sneak out of there. Give him a taste of his own medicine and when he calls tell him Karma is a beatch baby....
2006-10-16 14:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he sounds cheap but the question is, "Do ya like him"???
If so, then why not talk about this with him? Maybe his cash flow is low and he's too embarrassed to admit it? I would suggest that you two discuss who's gonna pick up the tab BEFORE you go out.
If you find out that he has the funds and is just being cheap......dump his worthless a**.
Just my thoughts!
2006-10-16 14:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋