I have dated a number of guys where everything seemed to be going along fine and then they stop seeing me and it seems that very soon after they get married? I'm trying to figure what it is about me that is not marriage material? I'm now 35, a lawyer, attractive and get along with everyone. I'm truly a very likable person. I've never fought with someone I've dated. What's the deal? Some say it's that many men's egos can't handle a successful woman. I don't know if that's true.
2006-10-16 13:42:39 · 12 answers · asked by ca belle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the comments so far. In response to some of your questions. I am not really busy. In law school I was that student who watched tv and socialized when everyone else was studying. Now that I'm working I make my own schedule, so I'm always available for dating. I really am being truthful about myself. I have no annoying personality traits and I don't act "desperate," as one person suggested. I somtimes think that maybe I'm too boring that men like women they can argue with or get mad at. I'm even-keeled. I worry only because while being 35 is young, it's not that young and I want to get married and have children. So many of my friends who are over 35 are having problems with conceiving and/or birthing babies. I don't have all the time in the word.
2006-10-16 14:03:51 · update #1
My wife has a JD/MBA, and I think is amazing beyond belief. She had two graduate degrees before I had finished my undergraduate degree. She too is, attractive, fun etc (was homecoming queen and captain of her cheer squad in college). Basically, sounds alot like you.
I think that many guys out there are looking for a damsel in distress, because it makes them feel manly. This may very well be the case with the people that you have dated. Others might be truly intimidated by your intellect and charisma. I don't think that either of those things should in any way make you want to change who you are. When choosing a spouse you want someone who really can share everything with you. That means in your case you will need a man who is strong and confident-one who will not need to be the knight in shining armor to be secure in his manhood.
Yes, 35 is not fresh off the turnip truck so to speak, but it isn't time to panic into an unsatisfying relationship either. With my wife and I we were both NOT looking to get serious and got engaged just a couple of months after our first date. 11 years later we get happier each year.
Basically, don't change who you are just to attract a guy. Trust that who you really are will be irrestible to the RIGHT guy for you.
2006-10-19 13:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by youngnedofthehill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend who is studying law, says most lawyer women are single is because they have to put so much into their work and little time for a relationship. I've noticed that as well in the general lawyer population. Maybe it's not so much you but the job you are in causes you to be less available?
I am not sure what else it could be. I posted a question about guys if they liked smart, attractive females and they do. It's just also they are intimidated by strength.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-16 20:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably have high intelligence, sharp wit, and have a no-nonsense attitude when dealing with issues. I'm just guessing because I think your profession demands a lot of hard work just become a lawyer.
Me personally, I prefer women who makes me feel a little more needed. I've dated a lawyer before, and she seemed like she was trying rather hard to make sure she was, every bit as good (which all women are) and every bit as smart (also which all women are) as me, but done pointedly. That sorta ticked me off.
Example: Dinner, I get the check, she HAS to pay for it and makes a comment about me thinking a woman can't pay for dinner. I was like "...what?.."
2006-10-16 20:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by MisterO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you been enjoying your relationships with these guys are have you been behaving like a desperate woman? You are still young, so relax and have fun until you connect with the right man. Every man is an individual with his own ideas as to what he wants in a wife so don't try to second guess on this subject. It sounds like you have a lot to offer as a woman so have enough confidence in yourself to believe that the perfect guy will enter your life at just the right moment and you will both be delighted beyond your greatest imagination. I wish you the best!
2006-10-16 20:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...most men love a woman who acn handl;e her own, but every now and then she lets him know that she needs him..not because she's weak, but because he does things for her that no one else can do, and he's special. he wants a woman who is strong, yet can be tender adn , dare i say it, motherly at times (when he's sick, or weak or whatever, basically you have to know how to take care of him should the need arise). how soon you sleep with him is something as well. make sure you are hard to get....it keeps interest. also, if he is willing to wait for you, then he truly loves you for you.
if he is gettign married within the year of breaking it off with you, then you need to rethink the vibe you are sending. you may be sending a "fun, fast vibe", not a "i am dependable, wifey material" vivbe. it's all in where you meet them as well. don't meet in a bar....you are more likey to find a one night stand, or temporary there. look in odd places that no one really looks, like bookstores, supermarkets, theatres, etc...be creative. also, make sure you don't get along too well with everyone, because it may be that you are portraying yourself as a person who doesn't like conflict and thus people will never truly know you because you allow things to happen that you wouldn't stand for normally. finally, when you walk, walk like you are taken.....yes...that's right. then, you don't seem desperate, and you attract a different kind of guy, than if you were to give the first guy who came your way the time of day. and date more than one at a time, and just get to know them....you can compare traits, what you like, don't like, what you can stand, what you can't.........finally, don't have sex so soon, because it only masks the problems, adn when the romance phase is over, you might find yourself with someone you realize you don't like at all. get to know them all the way first, good and bad, and when you realize that despite the bad things, you would rather be with him, then go for it, because you know thta after the romance phase is over, you will still like being around him. good luck..
2006-10-16 20:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by ashkazz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a lawyer huh?
Are you (for some reason) dating guys that are,perhaps,"below your league"? Do you like "bad boys"? Or the type of guys that your Momma warned you about?
It could be that all these guys you've dated thought that they climbed the social ladder as high as they could,and found themelves lacking.So they backed off from you,and settled for someone that they felt more equipped to deal with.
If that's the case then you might give thanks!
Or you might just want to find a guy like ME.....Half nerd,half bad-@ss....with a good career,and a naughty side to him!
2006-10-16 20:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by Danny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes some guy can't handle it when the woman has a better job than they do. Maybe you are looking in the wrong spot. You might have to get one that don't live so close to you. Like a different town or go on the Internet and get on Mate1. My mother-in-law has found her a England man and she is moving over to England this Friday. He is a very nice man. I met him already he flew over to see her.
2006-10-16 20:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard to say ... i was here too ... but i'm not a lawyer ... just an average girl ... guys are wierd ... i have yet to figure them out ... i do know that the ones we want never want us and we never give the guys that want us a chance ... well i gave that guy a chance and we're happily married 5 years!!
2006-10-16 20:46:31 · answer #8 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't beat a dual income... Does she have a job? Does she work? Can she hold a job? Is her income stable? Or... Is she a lazy bum you'll have to support? The math has got to add up! I ain't no sugar daddy! :) Can ya dig it?
2006-10-16 20:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by dww32720 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would love a very successful women !!
that way i wouldn't have to work so hard !!
every one thinks the man has to make the money !
2006-10-16 20:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by Big R 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋