Should I stay w my man?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i just broke up with him 3 weeks ago we hadnt talked to each other for the first 8 days until i saw him and from then on we have seen each other even made love to each other so we were practically together without being together, until this past saturday he did drugs and he knows i absolutely hate that stuff and someone pressured him into doing it but he still did and i was very upset. Later on that night he blew up at me and called me a hypocrit for blowing up at him cuz he only did one line and he hasn done it for like 2 years way before me and even then he would only do it like once. He stormed off and walked home and calld me and threatned to break up with me.The next day i calld him to ask when he wants me to come over and return his things and he said it doesnt really matter and later when we talked he seemd much nicer n said he loved me and i asked if he was upset with him an he said it didn matter wat do i do i am n love w hi

Answer 1

if he is doing drugs he is not worthy....think with your head and not your heart

Answer 2

The decision is yours to make, no one here can figure that out for you. If he knows how you feel about drugs and he did it to spite you, then you know how he stands.

I dated a girl for about a year and I smoked marijuana during the time that I was with her, even though I knew that she didn't like the idea of drugs or alcohol. It wasn't out of spite, however, it was out of a personal decision to lead that lifestyle. You need to understand that, in your relationships, you're going to deal with things that you don't necessarily like, but will have to accept as a part of your partner's personality. If he does cocaine because he enjoys it as a recreation, then that's his decision. Do you want to deal with it later on? Does it bother you that much? Or are you simply upset because he did it shortly after you got back together?

You should sit down with your lover and tell him that what he did was offensive to you, and ask him what his motivations for doing blow were. If it was indeed pressure and he respects your feelings, he won't do it again. If it's a relapse, then you need to consider whether "I love you" is enough. He hasn't committed any crime against you other than maybe disregarding your feelings on the substance. It may be an indicator of future behaviors, however, and not only with cocaine. You should attempt to reach a compromise on the situation that is agreeable for the both of you, but it will require you to have an open mind about the situation.

In short, communication is key to this case. Sex and love don't keep couples together -- mutual respect does. If this isn't a show of disrespect, then your problem is bigger than you're making it out to be. However, I would be interested in learning more about why the two of you broke up. Can you provide details?

Answer 3

Someone pressured him into drugs? You mean that he has friends/hangs around users? And he has used before? So he's a wuss that can't control himself around his friends? Or somebody threatened him, and made him use somebody else's drugs, because people just buy it for him and give it away.

He doesn't love you, or he wouldn't do drugs. That's a major one. If you are content with a guy that goes on a bender every year or two, then you've found your guy. But you want reality, here it is:

If you choose him, you are choosing a user.
You don't have to choose a user.
He blew up at you, and he would do it again.
You don't have to choose that abuse again.
You deserve a good man that doesn't do that stuff.

Let him come up and get his things. But no sex unless he's gone through treatment, and he's been clean for three years. You don't need a baby with a user - not right to do that to a baby, they need a real mom and real dad, not half a dad.

If he can't handle that, then say bye-bye. You deserve a good life, and he ain't givin' that to ya.

Answer 4

Should u stay with urman? U know the answer to that question u jsut don't want to except hun.first off drugs!! u don't need that. that explains the big anger outburst he had. Of course they always love u when they want sex again. Your too smart for this. Problem is u invested ur heart in ti and ur afraid. Just think if u stay with him u might get preg and would u want to really raise a child in a on and off again realtionship where daddy does drugs"once in a while". Peer presure was in jr high time to be an adult and u should n't make excuse for his bad behavior. move on girl i know it is hard to hear but u know what u gotta do.

Answer 5

If he really respected your opinion on drugs he wouldnt have done it. Especially since your relationship is on the rocks. He probably just did it to get you mad. It is typical to go ahead and have sex with him since you were seeing each other for quite some time. Those feelings dont go away fast so dont blame yourself. To me it seems like he is still growing up since he still is giving into pressure from his friends. A real man makes his own decisions and isnt pressured into anything. And about him being mean and then telling you he loves you. It is just a game. He is just playing with your head because he is probably lonely. If you love someone sometimes you have to let them go. Maybe if he cleans up his act and gets off the drugs he will be ready for a relationship. Right now he seems like he is not ready. Especially if he cant make his own decisions.

Answer 6

I say dump him while you still can...before the whole marriage thing. My ex husband did drugs every now and then, and I hate it myself...in fact I can't even tell you wha the stuff looks like...he knew my feelings on it and did it anyways. We have a child together so it was either let her see her daddy doing this stuff or let it go...loved the man with all my heart, but you have to think about your future and not forget about you.

Answer 7

If I was a girl I would leave him. From what youre saying he has a somewhat vicious temper, and if this was small, and it goes on with different situations, he may start to become abusive later on in the relationship if you do continue. I have seen this happen over and over and it hurts to see girls that are blind to that aspect. Take some time and think it through. If you have any doubt. ont stay with him. If you have absolutely no doubt in your mind then yes by all means stay with him.

Answer 8

I'm sorry that you fell in love with such a loser.


"I only did one line..."
^ That is horrible...You deserve so much better.

Do you want to be a stay at home mom home with 5 kids waiting for your husband to get back from jail because he was stealing and doing drugs??

I know it feels like you can't move on...because I have felt that way before...But your going to have to. And you can find something 1000 times better in the end. Believe me... I did.

Answer 9

Who wants to stay with a user? Users turn into addicts, and addicts turn in to cocaine heads. Are you willing to put up with all that entails? Is is worth it just to say you have a man? Love is strong, but peace of mind is even stronger. Life is too short to be stressed out over a user of any drug.

Answer 10

Well they never said relationships would be easy, if yall are both in love ya'll will find a way to work it out, and he needs to give up the drugs and focus more attention to the relationship. good luck

Answer 11

i Been down that road it is very tough yes i think u should stay with him and work things out give it another chance. I messed up and let it go there not a day that goes bye and i still say what if. What if we could have talked it out.