Any of you have mixed feelings about your parents?

Question

I am now a 20 year old parent of one,I was raised by strict baptists which probably says alot right there however I always knew I was loved,I just have alot of mixed emotions about my growing up days and now my mother is terminally ill.Anybody ever have these feelings?

Answer 1

When we have children of our own - it is perfectly natural for us to question how we were raised and develope mixed emotions about our own parents. Your love for your child has brought out a myriad of emotions for yourself, your family and your parents.
It's certainly good to know your felt loved. Take that and the best of what you know your parents to be and raise your child accordingly.
As for your parents - remember that they did the best they could with what they had. They raised you as they thought was best and that's all you can expect from them now. Love your parents and especially now, in your mom's last days - she needs you now more than ever. She needs to know that you love her and always will.
Blessings to you and yours.

Answer 2

Oh yeah, you are not all by yourself there. So sorry about your mom. Besides it being really common for people your age to have mixed feelings for your parents, your situation is complicated with your mom's illness. Alot of emotions come to play when you have a parent that's terminally ill. My mom died from Alzheimer's and I can tell you that while it was a slow and hard process for all involved, I think the whole thing brought out every kind of emotion I have ever possessed from guilt to love. Let yourself feel and don't try to process it and don't feel guilty about any feelings. Just be gentle and kind to yourself, you are going thru a tough tough time. Very best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Yes, my parents and I never got along while I was growing up. My mother was the daughter of a baptist precher, and got pregnant at 18 by a man who left her and married another woman before I was even born. She had to work really hard to pay off doctor bills from a difficult pregnany, and me being premature. So, growing up, there was a lot of pressure on me to do better. I was to go to college, get a wonderful career, then settle down with a nice Christian boy who also made good money before I started a family. When I got married and pregnant at 19 and 20, my family life crumbled even more. There were daily battles, and lectures about sin. I know my mom loved me, but she was plagued by her guilt from decades before, and it scared her to death to think I might feel the kind of pain she did. Well, when our daughter was born and we became settled in our lives, everything changed. My parents finally saw the worth of my husband, after blindly hating him for years. They also saw that despite our "young" ages, we are wonderful, loving parents. That has made all the difference in the world. So, I know how you feel. Sometimes, I still feel the hurt of things they said to me in the past, but I know they love me, and being adults and parents doesnt mean they are perfect. They are human just like me, and had to learn as they went along, just like me. Just make sure, whatever you do, that you wont have any regrets. We can lose the people we love at any time, even if they ARENT terminally ill. So always make sure that the people you love know it. You never know when it was your last chance to tell them. You dont want to look back, and regret the last moment you guys had together.

Answer 4

Absolutely! I was raised in a very religious household, but the older I get, the more faults I see in my parents and the way I was raised. It's really hard to deal with. Several years ago, I caught my dad in a lie that also involved some illegal activity. I was so torn that I ended up moving out of the state. Recently, my dad lied to me again. This time, it was over something that hurt me to my heart. I think it's damaged our relationship beyond repair. However, he is my father and I will always love him. I try to focus on all the good things he's done for me.

I'm very sorry that your mom is sick. Try to think of the good that she's done for you. It sounds like she's going to need you.

Answer 5

Sure I have. My father passed away 20 years ago and I still have mixed feelings about him. I have mixed feelings about my mom too and she is still alive. The best thing, while they are alive is that you still have the option to talk about your feelings.

But I am also the father of 17 and 9 year old sons and a 15 year old daughter and believe me, they too have mixed emotions about me. Sometimes they love me, sometimes they love me less.

That, is just a part of life.

Answer 6

Yeah we all do especially in times of illness we seem to reevaluate everything. This is quite a normal emotional response to the stress full situation you are living with. Good luck you have a tough time ahead of you. Many of us have travelled the same path. My thoughts and prayers are with you..

Answer 7

It is normal because you were sheltered from the outside world.

You are beginning to realize not everything Baptist parents say or do is right.

Answer 8

yes, i do a lot my parents sometimes expect me to be a certain way and i really don't want to

one time i was very tired, and talked disrespectfully to my mom and that sent her bouncing on the walls and she was yellin at me and sayin "how dare u talk to me that way" and "who do u think u are"

but when your parents are ill or sad u relize u really do love them and care for them dearly so i suggest to u is to just luv ur mom as best as u possibly can and be very kind to her

good luck

-heather

Answer 9

Sorry to hear about your Mom. Yes, you can love them and hate them at the same time. Don't live with guilt, do what you need to do so that you do not live with any regrets. Tell them what's bothering you, even if it hurts them, and then hug them.

Answer 10

get serious, that just part of being somones child. ever hear of newtons law of gravity. apples don't fall far from the tree. ever see an apple fly out perpendicular to the tree it fell from. nope, it just doesn't happen that way. despite all our efforts, we are more like our parents then we will ever admit