hey,
tell me some short story jokes. not too long. people always get bored when you start a long one. and nothing TOO nasty. just some witty stuff to make my friends laugh?
2006-10-16 12:59:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
GETTING INTO HEAVEN
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and
pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had
any contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls,
one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says,
"Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water,
I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her @$$ in it." oh lol i love that one
2006-10-16 13:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by im lost come and find me 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
2006-10-16 20:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by RealDeal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got one, i work with the elderly in a nursing home and one resident asked another: What's for lunch? The other lady (Who was 95 at the time) said i don't know some sort of chicken balls!!
(It was chicken too)
2006-10-16 21:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by Christine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey hope blond jokes are okay, there the only kind I know.
A blond walks into a barber shop and tells the Barber not to knock off her head phones. and so the barber starts cutting the blonde's hair and accidentally knocks off the headphones and then the Blondie faints. the barber picks up the headphones and puts them on her head and so she listens and it says " breathe in, breathe out." get, lol
2006-10-16 20:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
heard all of those except the tomato paste one b4. get new material plz. thx for 2 pts
2006-10-16 20:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Ellis S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you fix a broken pizza?
Tomato paste :-)
2006-10-16 20:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by Natalie 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-16 20:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋