I am a single mother of three.In a relationship with a mrd-man. I have been trying to end this relationship. Please can you give me ideas or advise on how to end the relationship without me feeling sorry for myself. I will like to settle down with a single man. I work everyday including weekends. I'm taking classes at home. I have no time for myself and lonely.
I will like to end this relationship but, I am having a difficulty to end it. I know that, What goes around comes around. Also, I know that, he is using me. When I met him. He as no ring on is finger and, I continued to asked him; if he was married. He finally admitted yes. I am in love with him. Also, I ask God for forgiveness each everyday and for God to give me the strength to let go of him.
I am tired of sharing a man. I have went through so much in my life and I deserve to be happy not miserable.
So, I need a solid good advise and how to end this relationship of 21/2 years without looking back. Thank you all.
2006-10-16 12:52:03 · 14 answers · asked by sky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to respect yourself is the bottom line in this situation. You don't have to explain anything to this other man, although it will certainly give you closure if you do. Call him and plan to meet with him in a PUBLIC PLACE -- it's even better if you can have someone drop you off and set a time for them to pick you up so that you don't have an opportunity to go anywhere with him.
Be firm about what is happening. Tell him that it's wrong that he would lie to you, that your life is difficult enough as it is (and, trust me, that sounds like a pretty tough life to lead), and that you would appreciate it if he could go back home to his wife where he belongs.
People fall in love every day. Somtimes it's for a moment, sometimes it's for a lifetime, sometimes it's for two and a half years. The odds that every person you fall in love with will be perfect are slim to none -- they all have flaws. I've dated girls with boyfriends, girls who were anorexic, girls who were untrusting... And I've got my flaws, too. I've lied, I've cheated, etc. However, the fact that you've fallen in love with a married man isn't unique -- it's just another person and this is his flaw... in your perspective.
You must decide for yourself what you're going to do in this situation, whether it's okay to continue on and accept this "flaw", or if you are going to do what society is deeming as morally right and end it. The key is communication. I would also suggest not keeping this a secret from your children if they ask -- you need to own up to the fact that you have done something that is not accepted by society, and your children can benefit from the education they can recieve by learning about what is happening. Of course, you shouldn't tell your seven year old, but it shouldn't be a topic to avoid, especially with your children when they become mature teenagers.
2006-10-16 13:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by Andrew Jesse Brown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough spot. First remember he is using you. You may be lonely but he has his cake and is eating it. I am sure that you wouldn't like someone else with your husband. So turn around is fair play. Unless he is seriously going to commit to you which i would doubt because he already has what he wants for free then you should end it and find another single/divorced man. The only way to end it is cold turkey. Just tell him I can't do this anymore and don't call, write or stop by. You have 3 beautiful children that need stability not a guy that visits. Good luck and god bless.
2006-10-16 13:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by Tommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to cut of all ties with him! thats the only way to move on, if you still keep talking to him via email, phone IM etc, it will never end. Just cut him off! Don't answer any calls. You are busy enough that you can avoid him. Keep yourself busy, maybe go out and have some fun with your kids, ask you married friends to help set you up with a SINGLE guy.
Remember you have 3 children, that will follow your lead in life. So basically they'll think its okay to date a married men, if mom is doing it. I'm not criticizing you, just telling you that your children might get the wrong idea about how relationships work.
2006-10-16 12:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by twinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you are being honest with yourself, you know it can't go on any longer. I feel really bad because your feelings are strongly attached to this guy, but it's honestly not worth it. I feel that there are some single guys out here that are worth you being with over this guy. The best way to end this relationship without feeling guilty, sad, is to think about all of the flaws of the relationship vs the good ones. Honestly the flaws have more serious consequences. He's never going to leave his wife for you, he is not honest obviously, so when he gets tired of you, he will cheat on you too and then lie to you. It's not a good environment to raise your kids in. He will never be their stepdad and never will make you guys one happy family, so neither of you should make them any promises. Also, you feel guilty. It will never go away, and others will be there to help make sure it never does. You don't deserve to be miserable, you deserve to be happy. I hope that you find someone better because you deserve it, don't settle for being used.
2006-10-16 13:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by pumpk713 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey take it from some one who has been were you are now If he is cheating on his wife with you then he will do the same to you. You and your children deserve more respect than that. Tell him that IT is over and give the mess to GOD and let him handle it. Cry those tears and Yes love your enemy because that is what he is. The devil in nice clothes and a sexy body will never make you happy. There is a honest and true man out there for you. 5 years of lies and deceit taught me this. A it took another 3 years to find my knight in shinning armor. You will also.
2006-10-16 13:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by carol n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry had to respond to even although in no way been in this actual subject. i'm divorced, 2 youngsters, mid 40's. I compliment you for elevating your infants on my own! i could have dumped any guy who says they think of having a family contributors replaced right into a burden. i do no longer recommend to sound harsh however the certainty is he's selfish and could proceed to be. living at domicile to construct a music profession? He particular does have it stable. Why do no longer you push him away slowly to make certain how he reacts. If he throws a tantrum then i think of you already know what the next step could desire to be. Your giving too lots to him. i comprehend there is a few great guy accessible waiting to locate a reliable lady such as you. in case you meet a guy like that and he desires to get severe with you confirm he needs the completed equipment.
2016-10-19 12:44:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are using him because of the convience. you can ask god for forgiveness. but it's no good when you are still sinning. think about your children. stop thinking only about yourself. old wise saying ( the sins of a mother and father falls upon the children) what do you want your children to think of you? how do you want them to live their lives? your children in the long run could give you much more heartache than a no good married man. yes, he is not good for you or his wife. he is a cheater and lier. god has given you the strength to stop. you just have to STOP.why keep hangin on to a mind game. that's all it is. a mind game. if this will help you i will tell you this ( HE DOES NOT WANT YOU , HE IS USING YOU FOR SEX,HE WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU FOR A REAL LIFE TOGETHER BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT HE COULD NEVER TRUST YOU DUE TO THE FACT THATYOU ARE WILLING TO SLEEP AROUND WITH MARRIED MEN. now thats the facts. may the good lord bless you and your children.
2006-10-16 13:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by susta1951 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a mother of three. That should be enough to give you hope. You love him but you think he's usung you, which he probally is since he's MARRIED! Leave him and move on. And when you leave him don't feel sorry for yourself. Your probally doing the best thing you've done in a long time so you should feel really good and proud of yourself.
2006-10-16 12:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by bktp37 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first what are you going to gain by being in a relationship on a part time basis i suggest you go out and meet some people and just tell him you're not interested in this twisted relationship anymore. be firm and just leave .
2006-10-16 12:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by fstrkm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um, you dont want to share a man, how do you think his wife woudl feel bout all this, leave him, its wrong he vowed to lvoe someone else dont be his play thing and let his wifey now waht he is up to, trust me she may be mad but she'll be happy that you told her
2006-10-16 12:56:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋