i need advice. my husband is driving me nuts his idea of disipline is to make our kids stand in the corner no matter what they do (eg: if they burp wrong,walk wrong,etc. they are 3&4).sometimes he will play with them rough until the oldest one cries then he gets mad at him & tells him to stay away from him. i want to say something about this but if i do he gets mad at me & will pout& not talk to me for a week please help
2006-10-16 12:34:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sweetheart sounds like your husband has some type of mental problem (seriously). I'm not just saying this to be funny either. He has to realize that your kids are not in the military. It really concerns me when you say that he gets mad when the oldest child cries and tell him to stay away from him. By you being the mother, you can not just stand by and not do or say anything about it. I could understand you not saying anything if he was chastising them in the correct manner, but this sounds like abuse. For your kids sake, you better deal with this situation before you have a real big problem on your hand. I have seen this same type of situation with a family member of mine and it only destroys the children mentally. Trust me you don't want that to happen. I hope this advice helps you.
2006-10-16 15:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dads are macho men, so by telling him something about hurting a 4 year old is the real issue here. i have gone through the same thing and it wasn't till i understood what makes dads so angry about telling them not to play so rough. Macho dads even though he may not (look the part) inside feel macho and when mommy says cut the rough housing out, it only reminds them of how little they really are. Come on why else would a grow man get mad for "hurting a 4 year old". Come on "he tells the kid to stay away". Hello mommy is anybody there? Wake up and smell the coffee! I think you could handle him not talking to you for a week, girl, there are lots of stories out there that will scare the heck out of him about accidentally hitting the kid too hard that led to serious injuries.
2006-10-16 15:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by realfix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have three children to deal with.
Stand up and speak your piece, then take that week of silence and spend some quality time with the children. When he starts talking to you again, sit him down and work out a discipline policy that can be agreed to, and observed by both.
Standing in the corner is a shaming discipline and not recommended by any professionals involved in child rearing. If the child's behavior is not within the agreed upon policy, then remove them from the common area and send them to their room.
If hubby gets his knicker in a knot, use the same procedure on him.
2006-10-16 13:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by zdrgnslyr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think your first problem is you and your husband sound like you are not communicating. You may need to seek some counceling and work on your communication skills. When it comes to kids I think bot parents need to be on the same page so the kids don't get confused. The next step would be to have your husband learn how to deal with the kids.
2006-10-16 12:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Mariko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with zdrgnslyr. Sure hope I got that spelling right. :)
And just an add on... Parenting is a two-way job, yours and your husband's. Whatever you do, just dont sit in the corner and do nothing, you are equally responsible for rearing your children the right way.
2006-10-16 13:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by sexy_mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with each other. You have to tell him and when he starts to pout tell him you already have 2 children. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not agree with his method and be ready to share what you think is best. remember this is a negation and come up with a conformism. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-16 12:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl just sit down and talk to him tell him the way he is acting is wrong. your kids are only 3&4 he should not be acting like that with kids. all i can tell you just work it out even if it gets real bad still try to work it out if he does not leave with the kids even though it will kill them inside it is for the best. you dont want one day for him to maby even hurt one of them just trust me take it from someone who knows dont let it get to bad. yes i do understand you love him but dont you love your kids to?
2006-10-16 12:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should get marrige counseling. Or divorce. Do eighter of those now! Or live with children who hate their father and would run away from home at any time.
2006-10-16 16:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think youre trying to make chicken salad out of chicken ****. Find a better husband. Seriously.
2006-10-16 12:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by Phil S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
huuummm... i think you guys need marriage counciling. he isnt communicating with you. and if he is, you're totaly missing it.
2006-10-16 12:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by Surf n' Snow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋