my daughter is now 4 years old. and i know she is still in the dependecy stage but recently she has been acting a little too attached. she has a need to always be touching me and she insists on sleeping in my room.. this is nice but it becomes an issue when me and my husband want our privacy.If i go to the bathroom she will bang until i let her in . It doesnt matter what I'm doing. If im in my room she has to see me or else she goes bazirk. I dont know what to do because it can get frustrating at times..can anyone help?
2006-10-16 11:20:41 · 11 answers · asked by a curious lady 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
she has started acting like this 3 months ago.. the only new person that came into her life was my boyfriend. and that was 2 years ago.
2006-10-16 11:36:35 · update #1
It can be frustrating...Get her a dolly to take care of..put to bed...as for privacy you won't get any...even to this day if the door is closed ...they want in ...
2006-10-16 11:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ken and Wendy M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her she is a big girl and has her own room and own bed. I only let mine sleep with me occasionally so we never had that problem. Tough love baby. Maybe she needs sometime away from you. I mean like an hour or so away have your mother or someone watch her so she will be used to it. Next yearor the year after when she is in kinder that will be a hard adjustment if you dont start now. Thats just what I would do. My daughter was clingy too, but we just had to use tough love. I dont know how you are with your daughter but she may just be spoiled and want her way.No offense. I spoiled my daughter too till it came time to put my foot down. Good luck!
2006-10-16 20:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lucille 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are having a hard time of it now.
i think that you might encourage her to do some little things on her own something she can do with out you at all and reward with praise such as wow your such a big girl now and so on .
i also suggest that consider what might be the reason she is feeling insucure could she have over heard something or misunderstood something and be thinking your going away.
another possible thing is that at age 5 she knows she will be off to big girl school and that might scare her.
i suggest too that you remember these times since i am sure you know there will come the teens when being with mom is totally not cool talking with mom is just not going to happen and you may at that time so wish she would sit with you and need you . all in all as much dialoge with her that she can understand regarding this matter should be used but in small bites 2 minutes here 5 there and after a time you might learn whats up with her or it will just pass . you so blessed to have a child and even more so to have one who wants to touch you talk with you and so on think about the austic children that dont want touch and seem to not want anything to do with mom dad or anyone .
one more thing pray. and ask your husband to help as well grandparents most likely have been there done that and can walk you through this like its a walk in the park . ask them ask other parents dont worrry be happy for this too shall pass.
2006-10-16 18:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I almost wish my 3 1/2 year old daughter had that, but she has been independent since she was about 2. What about telling her she is a big girl now and doesn't have to be with you at all times. Have the sound of excitement in your voice when you talk to her about being a big girl.
2006-10-16 18:27:44 · answer #4 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to her about it?
If it's a sudden change in behavior, it seems to me something definitely happened to trigger it. Maybe something happened that you're not aware of. It could be just a misunderstanding, something that to an adult is simple, but to a 4-year old child is traumatic.
I think the first thing you need to do is find out why she is so attached. Without knowing what she is thinking, or imagining, it's really hard to figure out how to solve it. It sounds like she's definitely anxious about something. If you can find out what it is, you can work to allay her fears and help her become more independent.
2006-10-17 13:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she spend any time away from you during the day. Is something in her routine different? Has she come into contact with any new people lately? Usually, when a well adjusted child starts to act anxious, there is some underlying reason that is not always obvious. I would question myself and her about her routine and any changes that may be occurring in her life right now..sc
2006-10-16 18:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by shirley_corsini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't let her sleep in your room. She has a room and it is made for her. Co-sleeping now will lead to future problems.
Second, it's good that she wants to be around you but it sounds as if she is just scared to be away from you. Banging on the door when you're simply going to the bathroom is pushing it. There needs to be limits when it comes to this.
2006-10-16 18:28:50 · answer #7 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you give in to her alot.... why is she allowed to bang on the door when you want your privacy? If my daughter did that she would get a spanking right away. Also, she should not be sleeping with you. She has a bed and a room and she needs to use it. If you are honest with yourself....do you think maybe YOU are keeping her in the "dependency stage?"
2006-10-16 20:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She continues doing it because she knows if she bangs hard enough or screams loud enough you will give in every time. People don't realize how good kids are at getting what they want at all costs. Don't give in, no matter what. It will be a loud pain in the "ears" for a while but she will evetually give up and sleep in her own bed once she realizes you aren't going to give in.
2006-10-16 21:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep that can be frustrating, but for some reason she's having some seperation anxiety. Have you had any big changes in your lives lately that make her feel unsettled?? I would just be reassuring with her and keep letting her know that you'll be back, where you're going etc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BTW, all three of our kids co slept with us and we never had any issues. She may just need this extra reassurance right now.
2006-10-16 18:25:21 · answer #10 · answered by Tracy S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋