hilarious slogans for speech?

Question

What are some hilarious jokes or slogans devin can put in her speech running for secretary of student council? (they gotta be school/teacher appropriate) She is running against a boy with bad handwriting who is new to student council/ she is a returning member.

Answer 1

Looking around the internet, I see a lot of advice about *not* using jokes unless you already know you're good at it. But one student council president had this advice about the speech:

I wasn't popular at all and im now serving my second year as student council president. how is that possible? its all about what's in your speech and how your deliver it. first, stay positive. everyone always says "oh i want to be honest" and says "i dont want to make promises." whoever started that trend is misguided. who wants to elect someone who makes no promises? Instead, go up there and say "yeah, im going to make you promises because that would be my job.. to make promises and follow through with them." second, don't be negative and trash the school or opponents or last year's officers. in my re-election speech i said "sure, anyone can name problems. but i have solutions" and people paid attention. instead of just naming problems, outline a clear plan of action. what kind of fundraisers are you going to have? what is your job and how are u going to do it well? ppl running make the mistake of thinking that stuff is boring, but if you speak passionately, its definately more interesting than the average "so, uh, yeah vote for me" speech. also NEVER list credentials like "i did this and that makes me qualified". no one cares and it makes u sound like u deserve the position.. and its the best way to lose ppl's attention.

Answer 2

Vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true.

Answer 3

vote for me and ill make school lunches free!