and had the relationship work out?
My man has hit me a few times in the past, and he down plays it and said he was sorry, and he wants this to work out (we have a kid togetheraswell) the last incident was in febuary 06.
I have alot of anger for him, and I dont want to have sex wth him or be intimate with him these days and it is because of that.
He says I have certain obligations to perform as wife (get it) but I dont care to be with him like that right now.
I have been a stay home mom for 3 years and due to him NOT wanting me to work (very controlling) I have stayed home and been a wife and mom.
He says if I leave I will not get our son becuase I dont have a job and that I should sign him over to him.
He works out of town so I said I would get him, I dont know what to do.
Can this be worked out?
We did councelling and it didnt work.
Can a relation survive a few incidents of domestic battery?
2006-10-16 09:50:28 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Any canadian moms who have been through feel free to im me.
2006-10-16 10:09:10 · update #1
No my man never hit me. If you are in an abusive relationship then get out now. Let the lawyers work out the custody thing but get out now. God bless you in the future.
2006-10-20 08:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has been through that. But he kept apoligizing so she assumed that he was sorry. she had a son with him so she really didnt want to leave. But one day he actually drew a gun on her. You NEED TO GET OUT NOW!
It may not seem like it now, but you are in a huge problem. It is important for you, your husband, and your kids for you to leave. The court will give you custody of the kids if you tell them that he has been hitting you. I dont think there is anything that the courts hate worse than domestic violence. Don't let him threaten you. You have all of the power because he can't take anything away from you unless you let him. The only thing that he can do is physically hurt you, that is why he is doing that, that is also why he is threatening to keep your kids. He knows that he cant, but he also knows that you dont know that. He can't hurt you anymore if you leave.
You are probably thinking, well he hasn't done it for several months. But that isn't an excuse, your realationship obviously isn't working out and there are thousands of other people that have been/are in your situation. Some made the desicion to leave, and some stayed, but i am sure that anyone who looks back at it will tell you to GET OUT NOW.
don't even try to give him excuses. you are in denial.
2006-10-16 14:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband verbally abused me for a few months before he actually got around to hitting me. He hit me once and I walked. I was pregnant at the time. I just pack up and went to my brothers. Fortunately for me (not so fortunate for him) I had a lot of family support.
I don't know what Canadian Family Law is like, but here, if you have documented cases of battery, he will not get custody of the child. He is using it as a scare tactic to make you stay. As you said, he is controlling. He will do or say anything to keep you under his thumb. The funny thing with most guys like that is if you take a stand they freak out. I am not advocating you confront him. I'm saying leave. He won't know what to do.
As to your last question, abusive relationships rarely work out. If you have tried counseling and nothing changed, then nothing will. He has to want to change.
2006-10-16 10:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regarding your last question: Can YOU survive? if you're dead, then there will be no relationship...ast least not with YOU! GET OUT NOW...while you still can!
If your "Man" has hit you, how much can he really love you, if at all?
Would he do the same to another man? Or does he pick on you because he knows you can't fight back? You know the answer. Men like these are seriously disturbed and should step up to the plate and "take one for the team": that is: kill themselves NOW, before they hurt anyone else!
Sorry, but I've never been hit and I don't think anyone ever should be!
2006-10-16 10:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well really only you know whats best for you.But personally I would leave him take my son and leave.Tell them about him abuseing you.I dont see them giving him full custody but you could try joint custody.The first thing would be to get a job.Find somewhere new to live and get a job.If not divorce then at least sepperated if your willing to try and make it work.The reason why I say you should just get out is because NO MAN! should ever hit you.EVER!.You dont deserve that aspecially from your husband.He is supposed to protect you not make you need protecting.Good luck,I hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-16 10:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by hotass_heather07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has been through that. yet he saved apoligizing so she assumed that he become sorry. she had a son with him so she quite didnt want to pass away. yet sooner or later he genuinely drew a gun on her. you need to GET OUT NOW! it could no longer look like it now, yet you're in a super challenge. it quite is important for you, your husband, and your infants which you would be able to pass away. The courtroom provide you with custody of the youngsters in case you tell them that he has been hitting you. I dont think of there is something that the courts hate worse than kinfolk violence. do no longer enable him threaten you. you have all of the skill because of fact he can no longer take something removed from you except you enable him. the only ingredient that he can do is bodily injury you, it quite is the reason he's doing that, it quite is likewise why he's threatening to maintain your infants. He knows that he cant, yet he additionally knows which you dont understand that. He can no longer injury you anymore in case you pass away. you're in all probability thinking, properly he hasn't performed it for a number of months. yet that may no longer an excuse, your realationship needless to say isn't figuring out and there are 1000's of different human beings that have been/are on your subject. some made the desicion to pass away, and a few stayed, yet i'm specific that anybody who seems lower back at it enable you understand to GET OUT NOW. do no longer even attempt to furnish him excuses. you're in denial.
2016-10-19 12:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man than hits his wife is worth sticking around for. You do NOT have certain obligations, he can take care of THOSE needs himself. I would get out while you can. As far as your son, I cannot see how any court would award custody to the abusive husband. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-16 12:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to both(in and out of relationship). Both were terrible. I beat the **** out of the one I was in a relationship with...There's no way that worked.(it very rarely does) ...and If I could find the one I was not, If I could find him, I'd probably trim a few things off.
It sounds like he has a problem, and no one can really tell if it'll work out.. I wouldn't give it a chance if you tried counseling and nothing worked, he could really hurt you...
I have no idea.. I was no help..I don't know what to say, sorry..
2006-10-16 10:20:56 · answer #8 · answered by Yeop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The so called "man" who hit me was my EX husband of ten years ago. Counseling did not work, apologies were not meant, it NEVER got better until I left. CHILDREN will LEARN to be abusive the more they are exposed to it. They also MAY BE ABUSED by the same. Get out honey. There's plenty of help if you look. You can get employment. Don't let him convince you of anything negative about yourself. Help yourself and your kids NOW. Bless you and I will say a prayer for you and yours.
2006-10-16 10:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by <><><> 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it can't. If he doesn't respect you enough to get out of the room to calm down he doesn't respect you at all.
One nigh my husband (he was my boyfriend then) came home drunk. We got into an arguement and he threw a beer bottle (not at me but across the room) I left him. Eventually we made up but he's never done anything since. I'll never forget that night. We've grown a lot since then (I was sixteen at the time) and I'm positive he wouldn't ever do that again.
If it has happened on multipule occasions you'd best get out now. Do you want your son to think its "okay" to hit anyone?
2006-10-16 09:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋