I've been married for 39 years , we have no sex life together but I feel so guilty about it !
2006-10-16 09:31:57 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
guilt should never even come into something that is so natural,enjoy the good things and screw the guilt
2006-10-16 09:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to praise you for being able to avoid going out and finding yourself another women to have an intimate relationship with. (It is not healthy to live without a sexual relationship).
There is no reason in the world to feel, "guilty after".
Perhaps you come from the generation where "masturbation, was taught and regarded as a perversion and even a cause of mental disease, is now recognized as normal sexual activity throughout life.
It is estimated that over 97% of males and 80% of females have masturbated. Although masturbation is normal an is often recommended as a "safe sex" option.
You don't say if your you keep this part of your life private, or you have shared this with a close male friends.
If you have share this with close male friend, it may cause quilt and psychologic suffering that stems from the disapproving attitudes of others. This can result in considerable distress and can even affect sexual performance.
I will always tell my patients male or female if they are in need of sex and don't have a partner, that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. (It is quite healthy).
If this is the only way that you can obtain the relief that you need by all means go for it. For sure it will prevent you from having alot of stress not getting the sexual release that you need.
Clinical Psychiatrist, France
2006-10-16 17:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by MINDDOCTOR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The desire overcomes any resistance based on the possible consequences of engaging in the act, since these consequences are only possible rather than probable, as well as theoretical rather than known to be actual. However, when the desire is satisfied, the possibility that you might have done something with a potential for future harm causes a certain amount of fear to arise, which is what guilt really is - your brain telling you that you should be afraid of doing this again, and that the doing of it didn't erase that fear.
Of course when the desire for immediate pleasure is again strong enough, you weigh the guilt feelings against that desire, and against the possibilities of getting caught at it, and the desire to spank the monkey almost always wins out.
2006-10-16 17:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was married for 39 years and had no sex life i would masturbate as well
2006-10-16 22:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by emedisnilive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
screw it man. It is your duty to keep your equipment in good working order and test it frequently. If you don't it will shrivel up and be of no use to anyone. Besides, self-pleasure is not like going out and having sex with another person; you are not cheating on your partner. So do it and enjoy it and get past this guilt trip your prudish background imposed on you.
2006-10-17 10:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is how you were conditioned as a youngster. To please yourself is really OK. Everyone does it whether they admit it or not. It probably isn't healthy to not relieve yourself sexually. Talk to your spouse and you may be able to help out each other. I can't imagine a life without sex. Good luck and don't feel guilty in something so natural.
2006-10-16 16:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you have a sex life together? Have you answered that question?
And are any baby seals harmed in your masturbation sessions? If so, this could be the cause of your guilt.
2006-10-16 16:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This Sex ed teacher addressed her class on masturbation one day. She asked, "Anybody that has ever masturbated, raise your hand." 18 people, including the teacher, raised their hands; 2 did not.
Then she remarked,"Well, I see we have 18 masturbaters here and only 2 liars."
So far the polls overwhelmingly show you have nothing to be ashamed of. But I bet most of us do anyway, thanks to the THOU SHALT NOT people.
2006-10-16 17:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by bob h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel guilty? It's normal, we all do it, ease up on yourself, you are not doing anything wrong! If your wife won't do it...at least you aren't cheating on her!! Be proud of yourself for that!! Just have fun and forget it!
2006-10-16 16:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey it is better than cheating on your spouse. Self love is good love don't feel guilty.
2006-10-16 16:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why should you feel guilty...you are not getting what you need from your partner and you are not cheating and you enjoy it so have at it and feel good about it....masterbation is quite normal.
2006-10-16 16:35:50 · answer #11 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋