Daycare provider needing advice regarding a lousy parent......?

Question

I am a Childcare Provider and I own a daycare in my home. I have this one parent that brings her children to my home filthy; I have good reason to believe that the personal hygeine of the female children are being neglected to the point of infection! The children are always sick and I literally have to threatened child protective services on her before she takes them to the docter and thats sad! I want to give my parents a chance but, this girl has 4 kids! You think she would know by now! I need some insight from some of you please. Thank you in advance!

Answer 1

If you really feel their health is at risk then you need to contact CPS. They will do a thorough investigation.
It is best to have proof before doing so. Take a picture of the children when the are brought to your house filthy. I feel this is the best solution if in deed you have tried to talk to the parents in regards to this situation and they have not responded or you have not seen a change in this.
I do feel however, if it was causing any type of medical problems the doctor would of already reported her.
I just try to see both sides of the story. If you feel you need to report the parents then that is your duty as a daycare provider.

Answer 2

I have been a daycare provider (in home) before, and it is difficult to talk to some parents about their child's hygeine. Is there some other reason that she may be seeming to neglect their needs? Perhaps she has no money for the doctor (at $80 a pop) that can be really expensive. Is she a single mom with all those 4 kids? That could be an issue. Perhaps she is just uninformed about how important health care is... maybe some articles from magazines like Parents could help (or print something off the internet). Some parents just dont' have a high priority on bathing, teeth brushing, etc, and you have to show them how to do it. Is she a really young mom? Perhaps she is overwhelmed with taking care of all the kids, and needs a schedule to help her out. Try suggesting that she bathe two of the kids on Mon, Wed, Fri and the other two on Tues, Thurs, and Sat. That should help cut down on the chaos a little. Some other suggestions can include giving her tips on how to set out their clothes at night, that way it isn't so hard to get them all ready in the morning, etc. Again, using the strategies you use in the classroom can really help a parent in need of a schedule to control chaos, and giving her hints about how to take care of her children effectively can help everyone.

Answer 3

This is an unusual condition, but your person might be a "messy". There is a "Messies Anonymous" group:

http://www.messies.com

And here's another support group:

http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/

However, most Messies I've met are actually clean physically, despite living in seriously unclean conditions. The Messie disorder is akin to adult ADD. A Messie finds the related acts of cleaning and organizing nearly impossible. They often give up on trying to be presentable after a while, especially after being subjected to embarrassment and humiliation by others. They're often terrified of having repairmen and even friends and family come over, which often leads to worse disorder. They do not want anybody commenting on their messiness, and in fact, doing so can often make the situation far worse. They know that their living conditions are unclean already, and are often deeply ashamed, but can't seem to do the necessary tasks at hand to remedy the situation. It's a mental block, and one that almost all of them wish they could find some way around.

This is a condition that a lot of people won't mention when talking about people with unclean habits. They just pass judgment instead, not realizing that this disorder exists.

However, if the children are at medical risk, something may have to be done, such as reporting the mother. Having said that, though, I don't know how much the local authorities can actually enforce cleanliness.

Answer 4

Most of the people who answered this question are totally ignorant of the ways of Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS is a rampant destroyer of children and families. If you call CPS, the most likely scenario will be that all the children will be literally kidnapped from this mother without due process of law and placed in a severely broken and very dangerous foster care system (see the Pew Commission Report). The mother might even have her parental rights terminated and these children will be doomed for life.

While I agree that this person should take much better care of her children, CPS is not the answer. I urge you to consider the possibilities. Please review the evidence on CPS on the LIFE (Liberty Independence & Family Equality) website before you take a chance on destroying this family. The link is provided below in "Source".

Answer 5

Is there any way he can go down for a nap before the other babies? Like while they are still eating. Is it possible to get him on a schedule slightly off from the others? If not how about making sure he gets very tired. Give him plenty of activity so he's ready to pass out. Also it may help to talk with the parents. Maybe they can get him on a routine at home without going to bed with a bottle. Make sure the room is dark and quiet. I suggest putting him in the crib when he is too tired to hold his eyes open. if he cries reassure him with a pat on the back and stand by the crib. Don't speak to him though. Maybe you will need to rest your hand on his back for a few minutes. Each day hold your hand there less and step a little farther from the crib. He's experiencing culture shock and has to get used to the routine. It make take several days. Just keep up with it. Is i possible to put him on a matt instead and sit by him until he is asleep?

Answer 6

That's a tough situation! It sounds like this mom could use some help herself! Keep offering to help her in any way you can! Maybe she just was never taught good hygiene as a child herself! You never know about the circumstances in which a person was raised! You could be the one to really make a difference in her life as well as her children. It seems to me, God may have led them to you for a reason. He knew you were a caring individual that would give them the attention and care that is needed, so don't be too harsh no matter how frustrating it gets. If you make it harder for her, she may find someone else and the children may suffer for it. I don't think you really want that to happen. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be asking for help! Hang in there and just do the best you can!

Answer 7

Forget threats...as a daycare provider do you not (like teachers) have an obligation to report abused or neglected children? If nothing else can't you call and make an anonymous complaint? If this woman has 4 kids she needs a big wake-up call. There is no telling what these children live in if they come to you such a mess. The welfare of the children must come first.

Answer 8

I have a day care in my home as well, and all I can say is I would not hesitate to call CPS on a this parent. Remember that if anything were to happen to those children and you didn't notify CPS about your concerns, you could be held accountable. You have a responsibility to those kids to make sure they are safe and healthy. You need to call CPS, there is no other option if it is as bad as you say it is. If it were me, I would also consider asking the parent to find another day care provider. I would have a hard time providing impartial care to those kids, I would want to bathe them and wash their clothes during the day. I would also not want to watch their health deteriorate. You need to be an advocate for these kids.

Answer 9

Ask her if everything is alright and if she needs some extra help.
Is she a single mom, or does dad not help they way he should?
It might be neglect, but it might be that with work, fourkids and everything else, it might be too much for her. If you are comfortable with it, offer to sit for free one evening, overnight, so that she can get some time off and sleep in, pamper herself. I personnally know that if you feel bad about yourself, you can't take care of others right... While the kids are there you could have bath time, movies, ect... and a chance to hear anything they might have to say w/o other distractions.
What do you think?

Answer 10

You must call, even if you don't want to. This is the only way they are going to get some help. If they have been to a doctor, the doctor would have called by now. They will not necessarily take the children away, just make regular house visits to make sure the children are being taken care of properly and teach the mother how to do this. Please...do this for the children. They are helpless to do this for themselves.