Teacher:didn't you know the bell had gone.child:i didn't take it miss.?

Question

another unfunny joke for you.

Answer 1

good one.
here are a few kids jokes

Realizing that their home just wasn't big enough with the new baby in the house, Little Johnny's parents discussed moving to a bigger one. Little Johnny sat patiently listening to his parents, then piped in, "It's no use. He'll just follow us anyway."



A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."



A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"



A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."



A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"



A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."



The Preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he was giving his preached he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third row leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"



Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."



Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"



My friend, Carolyn, was frustrated by how often her four-year-old son, Brian, was getting dirty playing outside. At wit's end, she finally said, "Brian, can't you play someplace where it's cleaner?" "If God didn't want us to play in the dirt," Brian logically said, "why did he make so much of it?"



When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."



A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."



Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."



On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"



A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."



A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"



A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"



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Kids's Quotes

Home is where the house is. --Age 6



Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15



It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. --Age 5



Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13



Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with. --Age 6



The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15



If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. --Age 1



My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him. --Age 10



I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. --Age 11



I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. --Age 13



I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15



It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8



As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. --Age 7



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Kid's Proverbs

Strike While The... Bug Is Close.



If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Smell funny in the morning.



There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Edie.



Better to be safe than..............Punch a 5th grader



Strike while the .........................Bug is close



It's always darkest before...... Daylight Savings Time



Never underestimate the power of........Termites



You can lead a horse to water but........how?



Don't bite the hand that.............. looks dirty



No news is................................impossible



A miss is as good as a.............. Mr.



You can't teach an old dog new......math



If you lie down with dogs, you'll..........stink in the morning



Love all, trust.............................me



The pen is mightier than the........pigs



An idle mind is..................The best way to relax



Where there's smoke there's.......pollution



Happy the bride who...............gets all the presents



A penny saved is....................... not much



Two's company, three's..............the Musketeers



Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go to bed



Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and........you have to blow your nose



None are so blind as.................Helen Keller



Children should be seen and not.....spanked or grounded



If at first you don't succeed.........get new batteries



You get out of something what you....see pictured on the box



When the blind leadeth the blind.....get out of the way

Answer 2

I take it you're a brit or an aussie or maybe a kiwi. I know you're not a yank. Not only would you never hear an american teacher say "the bell had gone", you'd never find an american kid polite enough to address his or her teacher as "Miss".

Answer 3

It tastes very good. Come to the USA, they have Taco Bells everywhere.

Answer 4

mabye you should go to the library and get some funny joke books so u can make people laugh.

Answer 5

i don't get it but i never get most jokes it takes me a couple of minutes !! to get them ! but "lol" for the effort !!

Answer 6

its just as funny as your last joke

Answer 7

ummmmm tries hard - could do better. 6/10

Answer 8

haha

Answer 9

yeah, that really is bad

Answer 10

it's ok I liked it