I am mad pisse d. My niece is 17 years old...and pregnant. Thats a problem but not the problem....the problem is at her school, when the councelor found out she was preg....they brought her in a nd had a talk. Well my niece and her mom(my sister) got into it. Tentions running high at the moment. But anyways my niece blurted out she is moving out. When my sister asked...on what grounds can she support herself. She told her the school gave her someino on living alone with a baby...They said they could get her a place to .live...finacial help...and get her to an alternative school. Where she could bring the baby while she attended.
WTH...WE have already told her we will support the child...babysitting,medical.finacial, anything she needed...just finish school. Now she has this thought that she can get her own place...get money...and go to school part time..My sister is mad beond control. We think this is something the parents should be advised beofre anything is said to thier children.
2006-10-16 07:56:50 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
i know ...no violence...but what should we do..can anything legal be done...i am not talking about lawsuit for money...i am just saying...stop giving kids this info...with out the parents there.
2006-10-16 08:01:26 · update #1
I must add...there is no abuse what so ever, We come from a lovinghome...and a young girl just got in sometrouble. We (I) have never laid a hand on her or the other children. We believe she wants to move...because the baby;s father is not welcome...he is a bad guy...really bad guy. And one of the rules were...when school is done...you are home taking care of your baby...but if she lives on her won...she can let friends babysit..see what i am getting at.
2006-10-16 08:05:23 · update #2
I agree with you, unless the school has some reason to think that your niece should move out (e.g., abuse at home). They seem to have overstepped their bounds.
However, your question was about punching someone in the face. If you're interested in helping your niece out, I would suggest staying out of jail.
2006-10-16 08:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by DancesWithHorses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your neice will be 18 by the time she has the baby, there is nothing you or your sister can do to force her to live at home.
A couple of clues:
You are mad & pissed. Your sister and her daughter got into it. Your sister is mad beyond control.
You all have a communication problem - probably a lot of yelling at each other.
That needs to stop - emotional outbursts make people real defensive and they stop listening. Your sister and her daughter need a neutral 3rd party to talk this out and defuse all the emotions, so your niece can see the consequences & challenges of her moving out on her own.
And if your niece decides to move out (she will be an adult at 18), her mother needs to tell her she can move back in without any recriminations or negative feelings. You all need to support her and show her love, not anger. Your sister's door must always be open - she must want what is best for her daughter and her child.
Please go get 3rd party help to defuse this, deal with the negative emotions and try to repair the relationships all around. Anger won't solve anything - you need to listen to what the real concerns are, and discuss the options and solutions. Can you get someone from your church, or a professional therapist, or someone that your sister and her daughter can agree to talk with?
And personally, you should be neutral in this - it's between your sister and her daughter. Be a listener and helpful, but don't be judgmental.
I wish you all good luck
2006-10-16 15:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your niece is just upset right now, give her time to calm down. She just blurted this out in a moment of anger. She knows that she will have her family help and support, she's not going anywhere. Ask your sister and niece to schedule another appointment with the school counselor and discuss the different options available to your niece in more detail, it sounds like your niece just had a little piece of information and just ran with it.
2006-10-16 16:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by carmelapple2001us 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would check on the state law regarding this issue. In some states, a child can declare themselves independent at 17, but not until 18 in other states. If it's not possible in the state for your child to declare themselves independent, then I would report the school and it's suggestion of this program to the appropriate authorities. If it's "legal," I would definitely contact child welfare services and discuss this counselor's programs and let them know that you believe the child will receive a better level of care if raised within the family than if raised outside the family in a "program" with just a single mother.
2006-10-17 10:55:02 · answer #4 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is that at schools the guidance counselor is there to talk and listen to students needs and concerns, so you can't prevent them from talking to your daughter. Also the couselor probably gave that information as an idea IF she needed it. Her being only 17 probably put that idea in her own head. She probably isn't understanding the reality of it all and only half listened to the counselor. All she probably heard was you can get your finances and medical and schooling all taken care of. Have your sister talk to her calm and as if she were an adult, because she probably thinks she is an adult now that she is pregnant. Overall be calm about the situation with your neice if you get angry she'll get angry and just rebel.
2006-10-16 15:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that the parents should have been advised and, invited to the meeting. Your niece is not thinking clearly, being pregnant dose not mean that you are a grown up. If your niece has got her mind made up then there is little that you can do for now. Let her get her place, she'll be back......and ready to listen to sound advise.
2006-10-16 15:10:19 · answer #6 · answered by Magica! Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but don't punch anybody in the face. what will that prove? Only that you have no self control. Be supportive. She's 16, she won't be able to do this on her own. She'll realize that when the hormones calm down. But that said, it is your neice. You sister is the mother. Supportive is great, getting too involved is another story. Have a great day.
2006-10-16 15:01:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First who are you going to punch? It is unclear here, And learn how to spell. I think your niece is in a jam. She has her reasons for moving out. Did you talk to your niece. ask her what she told the school they have to have a reason for their actions. Thank God that she is not going through an abortion. Find out the whole situation. before you judge the school for their actions.
2006-10-16 15:07:47 · answer #8 · answered by Mickey M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can by force take her home but you should understand she does have a mind of her own and right now she probaly has alot in mind to deal with I would tell you to let her go on her own but keep a eye on her and whenever she is ready and understand that she has a family and a home that she can come back to she will
2006-10-16 15:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by porcelain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family needs to get control. This is an awful situation to be in though. This girl is about to get a wake-up call. It is the baby in such situations I fear for. Hang in there because that child will need you all.
2006-10-16 15:05:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋