ok at my work one of my "bosses" has been making racesest jokes against jewish people. My fiance and his family is jewish and thats a big part of me know. this boss guy tells me i should tell one of these jokes to my fiance, he said that hed tell him himself next time he comes in. i really dont want to repeat it but it might help understand this situation. he said. whats the difference between a pizza and jewish people?... Pizzas doesnt scream in the oven.. yeah thats bad. this isnt the only jokes hes made. i dont no what to do. i really cant go to the boss because hes racesest too. but against black people.. I really need help!!! what would you do??
2006-10-16 07:51:24 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Being Jewish is a religion not a race
2006-10-16 07:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by Whatever 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Sadly we live in a world of hate and prejeduce . Situations such as yours are more common than we would like to believe . Your boss no doubt has a number of character flaws but , he also lacks respect for you princess. I agree with another of your advisors - Pray first ! You might try contacting someone higher up than the two you mention- such as a regional or state office or perhaps the company's board of directors. If it is a small privately owned company you may be out of luck.
If you do submit a complaint within the company I would advise "NOT" to do it in your own handwriting - use a computer or a friend and don't sign your name. Also don't be too specific as to point the finger back at yourself as being the complaintant... I'm sure your boss enjoys all sorts of racism so give different examples.
Warning- be careful about the recording---in some states it is a crime to record someone without their knowledge ! Check your laws first ! You might bring a recorder in to work and tell your boss you want to record his jokes to play for your boyfriend...if he goes along with it you got him on tape - better still would be a movie camera .
At any rate princess you should probably look for another job if possible . The constant ridicule in the form of cruel and tasteless jokes from your boss makes for a very unhappy work place for you . On the other hand - if you were able to stir up an investigation- things may quiet down considerably . However , it may also make things more difficult for you if the bossess were to think the complaint came from you . I wouldn't talk about it with any co-workers as well because you just never know who you can trust in a situation as this . Best of luck !
2006-10-16 08:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by Raziel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a thicker skin.
I would go one of two ways with this.
"Forward approach": next time, grimace after the joke, thank him for sharing, but mention that it is not the kind of joke you like hearing or sharing. DO NOT make a big deal of it- just sharing a little something about yourself. This technique works better if there are other kinds of jokes you can share more freely.
"Training approach"- train him out of sharing those kinds of jokes with you. When said, give a polite little strained smile or a small grimace of pain, and disengage politely but quickly. Do not be an audience, do not give him the satisfaction of seeing you react badly, basically do not 'feed' his need at all. He'll find another target or another joke book.
Sadly, many people are just warped in that area- sharing dead baby jokes, nasty sex jokes, etc. I think part of the appeal is the sheer shock they can generate- the revulsion or 'yuck' response- so I'd keep this to a minimum.
One co-worker I had dealt with an inappropriate boss by staring at him as if he was speaking Martian- dead blank face, not a hint of humor or revulsion. It takes guts to do this, but if you can, it worked for her very well. It was hilarious to hear the guy try to explain to her why the joke was funny- as if she did not get it somehow!
Note: You gotta be careful that this does not come back to haunt you at review time. 'Not a team player' kinds of comments are easy to earn and hard to defend against.
2006-10-16 08:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a tuff spot.I would go to him and tell him, hey I don't mean any disrespect but I am kind of sensitive when it comes to jewish jokes and all, going into a jewish family. I really don't know how to take them. That way you are not accusing your boss of being offensive, you are saying that it is your problem being sensitive. Maybe that way your boss won't get upset with you and will stop. Good luck!
2006-10-16 08:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by Piper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boss, tell him that you think that these jokes are not funny AT ALL, and that you will not tollerate it. You are able to take legal movements if he does not treat you fairly, or fires you because of it. If worse comes worse, threaten to quit, or take legal action.
I know this seems harsh but it is vital that you do it.
Sit him down in his office, make sure it is a sit down meeting. And i am sure that other people have the same feelings that you do. Have them back you up in the meeting. talk to him and tell him, i will not tollerate this kind of racisim or something along those lines. If he is mature, he will realize that this is bothering you and that it isn't right. You wont get fired just because you talk to him and express your opinion twoard about all of this. Just build up the confindence, and once you start the conversation, it is easy. Hard at first, but once the ball gets rolling, its easy to keep going.
I hope this helps!
Albinoman
2006-10-16 08:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Albinoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! How did you keep from smackin' that guy up side the head! Frankly, that doesn't sound like a very good place to work. That said, I would run, not walk to the personnel/human resources dept. & report both the prejudiced pigs. Also, keep a journal of who said exactly what, time & date & in front of what witnesses--you'll need this if they try to fire you. And don't broadcast it that you have this log, it may "disappear" and it will get back to the bosses who at the very least will retaliate, maybe in subtle or not so subtle ways. Good luck to you.
2006-10-16 08:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by Clycs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the black/pizza joke to the higher up to break the ice - A pizza can feed a family of four. There should be Italian pizza jokes too but I don't know any. I feel a little discriminated against but that cause I'm only a little bit Italian. The Norse side of me understands why it is not included.
If you just let him know he might be less of a jerk. I'm less of a jerk when I know it upsets people.
2006-10-16 08:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Document, document, document. This is workplace harassment and is illegal. It needs to be reported to your HR person if you have one so that it may be investigated and resolved. Your boss or the company cannot retaliate against you for reporting harassment. In any case, document EVERYTHING before and after you report it. In most cases, the problem can be resolved within the company and this is the first step. This is harder to do with a small company (<14 employees) so documentation is very important. If you feel the problem persists or that you have been retaliated against for reporting harassment, talk to a lawyer.
2006-10-16 08:03:32 · answer #8 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he has bosses higher up than him or a human resources where you work at go to them, if not and it is just a crappy place to work at find a different job, that is the kind of stuff people really shouldn't have to put up with, and if everything works out for you and you are succesful in getting this guy to shut up and it doesn't cause you any problems which hopefully it doesn't let him know that the majority of people think racist people are morons, which they are
2006-10-16 07:55:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
even your boss has a boss- find him and let him know. Check with human resources or the better business bureau. If he knows your family has jewish people in it- he's telling you the joke to justify to himself that its okay- you need to let him know its not and cover your a$$ while your at it.
2006-10-16 07:55:11 · answer #10 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually you could talk to you boss about discrimination policies. Or just let his boss know that he is making those kinds of jokes. If he doesn't stop, he'll get fired. The Human Resources department can talk to him too. This kind of thing is not allowed in offices since it creates issues that lead to loss of productivity.
2006-10-16 07:53:43 · answer #11 · answered by Love Shepherd 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋