What can be done about my fiance's children not getting the attention they need?

Question

My man has 3 children that range from 8-14 (1 girl and 2 boys). Their mom isn't helping them with homework or any of life's choices. All three of them come to me with their questions because they say their mom will hit them or cuss at them if they ask her questions like these. Their father will not try to get custody of them for fear of making their mom mad. My children are straight A students and always ask and confide in me. What can I do to help them? I want them to succeed in school and in life but since I am not a guaridan or their parent, I guess I can't do anything legally. What can I do? One more thing, when I tell their mom that they have questions for her or I try to help without stepping on her toes she gets offended. So far I have backed off and not tried to help unles the kids ask, which they do every day. Please tell me what kind of options I have and how I can try to help them.

Answer 1

You need to talk to a counselor or lawyer, they kids have told you they are being abused and you have done nothing. Your BF will be considered the mother's accomplish if he continues to do nothing. Know your rights before you end up in big trouble.

Answer 2

I think all you can do is help them like you are now. Even if it's not helping as much as you'd like, they obviously know you are there for them and they look up to you as someone who helps them when they need it. In doing that, you are already doing more for them that way than their mother is. The only thing that can happen is that your fiance could talk to someone about what to do seeing as how they are not in an appropriate environment conducive to their health and development. Obviously their mom will get mad, but it doesn't sound any different from the way she is now anyway. Just try to teach them to have goals and to try their best to achieve them, no matter what anyone else thinks. If they want something, they are the ones who can make it happen, and no one can stop them from it either. I think you yourself are doing all you can in the situation, and it sounds like you are doing a great job. You are obviously a very important part of their lives, and they will benefit from it.

Answer 3

Well I think that the first thing you need to do is talk to your man and tell him what is going on. The children have pretty much told you they are being abused. That needs to be delt with. Your man needs to know that. He needs to decide is it better to try and get custody and make her mad or not try and have something happen to one of these children. They need to know they are going to be protected. If you ignore this or if he does then they are not being fully protected. They are comming to you for support. Keep giving it to them. Let them know you are there for them. you guys should really talk and consider taking custody of these children they seem to be asking for help. Hope all works out for you and your family.

Answer 4

Number one, their homework/schoolwork is THEIR responsiblity not their mother's if they're not doing THEIR homework then they are the ones at fault not their mother. As for what they "say" she does, that doesn't mean it's the truth. I suggest you tell their mother what the kids are saying, then see what she has to say on the subject.

Answer 5

i think it is great that you are their for those kids. At least you can give them positive advice, maybe try talking to your fiance, about them moving in, tell him you really want them to. and if they aren't being treated right you need to let their father know

Answer 6

keep doing what you are doing. I wouldn't let mommy know that her children are coming to you for advice, that will be her loss! At least they are going to someone for guidance and your man should feel an overwelming feeling for you. Keep up the good work and just make sure they know that they can come to you with anything...question or just to talk