What to do when the person you are in a relationship with is constantly pointing out your physical flaws and comparing you to past women that he has dated? But you love him and knows he loves you??
2006-10-16 07:32:09 · 23 answers · asked by Shannon83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well he never called me ugly straight out but told me I need to lose weight and points out my little love handles. He is used to dating skinny women and i'm not huge but i'm not skinny.
2006-10-16 07:41:42 · update #1
He also mentions my stretch marks too. Basically he just wants me to work on my body but I feel like he thinks i'm not attractive enough.
2006-10-16 07:42:29 · update #2
if you are satisfied that he loves you, then he probably has low self esteem about himself and says these things to you as a way of making you think you need him - because in truth, you are probably the best girlfriend he ever had.
men are strange......
2006-10-16 07:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-boyfriend was like that. Notice that he's my EX-boyfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if that guy not only puts you down, but tells you that there are just so many girls who want him. He just wants you to think you can't do better than him, and that he's a "prize" and you're not. Once I started going out with my husband, who looks at me as though I'm the most beautiful sight he has ever set eyes on, I can't believe what I had put up with in the past. True love can turn a person's perception even of actual physical flaws into "unique attributes". I consider my main flaw my nose, which has a slight hump on it, but my husband wouldn't want me to get a nose job because it wouldn't be "my" nose. He loves me so much that it makes him love everything about me and he doesn't want anything changed. I would seriously reconsider my relationship with that guy if I were you. I *thought* I was in love with my ex. I didn't know what love was yet.
2006-10-16 14:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may love you but he doesn't respect you. But hey, who cares right. Love is the one and true answer. So you could put up with it, and heck maybe even change yourself to match what he thinks is beautiful. Yeah, start starving yourself and working out eccessively while downing laxitive coctails. Mmm-mm, on your way, hey while you're at it, get some botox and rhinoplasty. Yeah a knife to the face, that'll make you beautiful and make him love ya even more, or at least shut him for a month or so. I mean come on. If love is so friggin wonderful, wouldn't he be able to overlook that which he doesn't see as perfect for his feelings.
People throw this, but he loves me, BS around so much I don't think anyone knows what love is anymore.
Quit being weak. Stand up for yourself and when he says you could use to drop a few pounds so your *** could look like *insert random chick he almost had a chance with*, grab his knut sack and squeeze until you see a tear in his eye and see how many more times he brings it up.
Or, better yet, kick his sorry *** to the curb and get into a relationship with someone who isn't so judgemental. I mean for Pete's sake, this is ridiculous.
2006-10-16 14:34:18 · answer #3 · answered by letum_ante_dedecus 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This man does not love you if he doesn't accept you for who you are. When you love someone, you do not put them down. You help them up, and keep them up! Comparisons to earlier relationships may mean he hasn't gotten past those other girls yet. Be careful with this one. No one deserves to be told, or made to think they are ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and this is something I truly believe. Either you need to tell this man you have had enough with the way he treats you, or you need to step up, realize you are better than this, and move on! Good luck, dear!
2006-10-16 14:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by KT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a case of low self esteem. If he thinks you are unatractive, why is he with you? If he thinks other women from his past are mroe attractive then why not be with them? Logically, if he thinks he could do better, then he should move on. But holding on to a man who insults your looks is a waist of time and a sign that you don't think very much of yourself. Grow some overies and tell him to gets ta steppin. ALL women are beautiful, and a real man knows it.
2006-10-16 14:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were dating someone that thought I was unattractive and compared me to past flames that he thought were 'drop dead gorgeous', I'd walk away from that insecure _______ as fast as my legs could carry me and the next time I said hello to him I'd have a handsome escort standing beside me. Try telling him the next time he brings up one of those 'gorgeous babes' from the past--that you're sorry that they didn't feel the same about him and apparently didn't think he was attractive. Of course, add that you don't think he's 'too bad looking' like they must have. It's all in how a guy makes you feel about yourself.
2006-10-16 14:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you say they love you? If they did then they accept you for you inside & out. If they keep pointing out or comparing you to past relations then tell them to go back to them. Find somebody that will treat you better than that.
2006-10-16 14:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by tygernside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you at all he would not point out flaws. He is basically saying you are not what he wants, but since you are there well its OK then.
2006-10-16 14:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with letum, he may love you but doing these things shows he has no respect for you. When I love someone & if I say something that hurts that person, I will do my damndest to not say anything like it again. He's being cruel & it's not nice.
You shouldn't take much more, you deserve someone who'll love you no matter what.
Dump this turd & good luck :)
2006-10-16 14:36:28 · answer #9 · answered by HiKo73 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't see physical flaws if you are in love. Only the person's heart.
2006-10-16 14:34:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mintygoodness1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋