We can not afford a wedding and would need to take out a loan for the ring. It has been very stressful because I currently don't have a job and have been extremely stressed out about that. Along with the engagment and wedding planning. I am stressed out big time. I am more stressed about not having money for the wedding.
We have been indecisive about the wedding thing and what we want to do about it. It was both our idea to get married. I have been feeling really insecure about my job situation and depressed. It is more about my job, not the wedding. It is hard for me to get motivated to plan my wedding and move forward with that when I am so uncertain about my job. I feel really down. I am excited about marrying my guy and love him dearly. I just can't seem to shake my depression. How do I cheer up?
2006-10-16 07:14:41 · 32 answers · asked by lc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are getting married that is one of the best highs there is! I can understand though. My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves and you are right it is very stressful. Talk to him about it. You are going to marry him soon and he needs to know how you are feeling. He is there to encourage, understand, love and be there for you just like you are supposed to be for him. What my husband and I did was he proposed and what we did was bought two very simple sterling silver rings that match. Yeah they aren't the normal, but we didn't have much and to this day we still wear them and they mean alot to us. Why, because even though we were going through a hard time we still loved and supported each other enough to pull off a wedding! It is possible. I hope you feel better! Congratulations!
2006-10-16 12:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a ring for your anniversary instead, or get a cubic zirconia for now, no one will now the difference, then upgrade it to the real thing when you have the meand to do so.
Youc an get married by the JOP and then have a small cake/punch reception at your home with your family. What is important is to be with the person that you love,.... everything else is a one day show...marriage is forever.
It seems to me that you feel depressed becaise things are not going the way that you envisioned... but thatis LIFE and you should learn to deal with it and do the best you can with what you have. Things can only get better and is your choice to be as unhappy as you want to.
If you accept the fact that you don;t have the economic means to host a big reception and accept the idea of planning something intimate and modest, then you will feel better about it, rather than being bitter and depressed about not having the wedding that you been planning since you were 8 years old.
Be smart, if you cannot afford a wedding and your financial situation is not in good shape, then DO NOT make a loan to have a wedding, you will be deeper in debt and at the end, it will be not be worth it of your relationship is going to suffer due to financial stress.
Plan something small and within your means, then have something bigger for your anniversary next year, when you can have a vow renewal ceremony.
Good luck
2006-10-16 09:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, best you can do is look for a job. It is a very stressful situation, a couple of years ago I lost my regular job, and was freelancing for about a year - I was very stressed out, since I would have lots of work one week, and none for a month, stuff like that. If I had a wedding to deal with at the same time - forget it!!! I would just die. First off... You don't need a huge wedding; plan something comfortable and inexpensive. Second - who cares if you do or don't have a ring... It took my fiancé and I a couple of months to actually go to the jewelry store and get a ring, and even then I got a ring that was very inexpensive, because I liked it. It's a symbolic gesture, and even a $50 ring can serve the symbolic purpose. It is true that even a small wedding can be stressful; try and get a friend or friends to help out. I got married a few weeks ago, and it was sort of an informal wedding, with a bunch of friends pitching in and helping put it together, it was great; everyone had fun. My matron-of-honor wrote the script and the vows, and even the minister and the musicians were recruited from our circle of friends. Don't be afraid to tap into your friends' and family's help; I'm sure they would be delighted to provide their support. Congrats, and good luck!
2006-10-16 09:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have some decisions to make. My wife and I just got married 6 months ago and there was a lot that we did just so that we could get married. Her parents paid for most of it and we had a great time. If you do not have very much money that can be used to do a wedding, you have to plan around that. Do something extremely simple if that is all you have. The wedding is one day. After you are married and have gone on a simple honeymoon, you don't need to lose your love for each other in the stress of not having money.
I know you want a ring, but keep it simple. If you live outside of your means you will always be under the stress of having no money. I would suggest that you honestly look at what kind of budget you have, and keep it simple. After you get married, and both of you are working, you can always upgrade your ring... renew your vows... and go on a second honeymoon. Wait for these material things a little longer until you have the means to get them.
Gather your family and close friends around you to share in the day. Rent a video camera and pass it around. Find someone who can take some pictures. These are things that will last a lot longer than that one day. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that helps a little...
2006-10-16 07:23:26 · answer #4 · answered by Just another 2D character online 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't set a date... yet. First save up some money if you can.
Try to save up some money for the rings first. Then do some shopping, try jewelers, pawn shops, even stores like JC Penneys carry wedding rings or something that will work. You should find something right.
Then start saving for the dress and tux rentals. Then for the reception... see what I'm saying?
Also, ask family members to help out with the food. Go to a local college and ask a photography student to do the pictures, they probably will do it just for the experience, but offer a small fee for their time. Buy flowers at Costco or the grocery store and make your own bouquet and centerpieces. There are lots of ways to cut costs if you get creative. It will take a little time, but it can work. Besides a year or so engagement is pretty normal and that'll give you time to have a beautiful wedding.
2006-10-17 11:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by Rayanna L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously can't get married anytime soon so stop worrying about the wedding. There's nothing wrong with a long engagement. The first thing you need to do is get a job. Try Monster.com or a temp service. Under no circumstances should you take out a loan to pay for a ring or a wedding. That would just be stupd. You shouldn't be motivated about planning a wedding because you don't have enough money. Good luck.
2006-10-16 09:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has communicated her desire for a ring, and there are only two reasons there would be an absence: 1. He is disregarding her feelings, because he doesn't feel that jewelry is important when there are other more important ventures (i.e. house, etc). 2. He is saving for a ring. A ring is a symbol of commitment, but not everyone wears rings. Two of my best friends are a happily married couple who has never worn any type of ring. They're head-over-heels and completely committed. A ring doesn't make or break a relationship. My mister proposed with a gorgeous necklace and saved enough for my gorgeous ring less than a month later because he knew that, despite the fact I don't abide by a lot of traditions, I wanted a ring. Every couple is different, and other pieces of jewelry or things have been give instead of a ring. I I would suggest your friend discuss the issue with her fiance' or simply wait and see.
2016-03-28 11:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on one thing at a time, first get the job situation taken care of, you don't want to bring a lot of debt into the marriage if you can avoid it. Get a good job, then worry bout the wedding! You know you guys will get married, and that you love each other, just get your ducks in a row first. After you have figured out your money issues, then figure out how to make a wedding work....and where their is a will, their's a way! As for not having a ring, I didn't have one for like 3 weeks after I got engaged, and it winded up goin on my credit card and he paid the bill on it, since he didn't have a card! It's no big deal, Just take things one step at a time and all will work out! Good luck and congrats!
2006-10-16 08:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you do not need a ring to show the love between you. If you really want a ring, I suggest your local pawn shop, yes it may sound wrong but they have GREAT deals on diamond rings so why not take advantage of it? The first thing is to get yourself feeling better. If you are not feeling like yourself it will cause stress on your relationship. Get a new job that you can feel good about. Do some wedding research, and enjoy being in love!
2006-10-20 06:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married a year ago and we were probably in the same situation like you. We got rings that cost 50 pounds both and our wedding was very modest. We just had a small party at one of the Italian restaurants for 15 of our closest family and friends. We did tell them not to buy us presents but to give us vouchers or money. They are your family so they know your situation anyway. From the money they gave us we paid the restaurant and had some left for my engagement ring which we bought later. Even thou everything went wrong on the day: my sister forgot our cake so we had to go back and get it, I forgot my flowers etc it was the best weding anyone can ever ask for and I wouldn't change that day for anything in the world. One year on we both have jobs, I just got my first car and life is perfect. HAVE FAITH. Things will get better! You have to make the most of now!
2006-10-16 07:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by Vicki Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋