I have been like best friends with this amazing guy and I rescently realized I was in love with him. We were friends for about five months now and things were kind of like a "friends with benefits" type thing. But just not with sex. Just kissing and some fooling around. He kind of stopped after the first two months and we were just real good friends. Now resecntly a couple of weeks ago he stopped talking to me. Right when i realize i love him. Toiday I find out he is in a relationship with someone! and he couldnt be in a relationship with me because he had a "wall" and couldnt be with ANYONE. My question is, how do I stop loving him? Should I be mad at him? Should I still be his friend? I'm so confused and hurt.
2006-10-16 06:40:51 · 23 answers · asked by renloj628 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You cannot just stop loving someone especially when it is real love to begin with.
Do not be mad at him. And do not steal him back either. What is for you is for you. You will not end up with someone worse if you just take the time to be patient. I know it sounds hard but that is what i did and i met the best man in the world to me.
He probably cares about you too. Most of the time when guys stop talking to female friends when the get into serious relationships with other girls is because they think that the friend could be a threat to the current gf.
Do not worry. If the two of you are suppose to be together, even if it is for two months or less, it will happen. And nothing will stop that from happening.
2006-10-16 06:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be mad at him... its okay for you to be hurt though... at least for a little while. Believe me, when a guy is intersted in dating a girl there is no "wall" if he had really been interested in dating you nothing would have stopped him. He is a good guy though for not stringing you along or keeping you as a backup. Try and let him go, maybe send an email every now and then asking how he is. If his new relationship doesn't work out then he might rethink about what a good thing he had with you.
the important thing though is to respect his new relationship. If he seems to be treating this girl righ then just maybe...if you guys do end up together you can trust him to treat you just as well!
2006-10-16 13:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by fancyfree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it that you want out of this? Do you want a relationship with him? Only time will help you with you emotions but you shouldn't be angry with him. Neither of you were willing to take your friendship to the "next" level when you were "friends with benefits". Can you still be his friend while he's with someone? I understand how confused and hurt you are but I think you need to tell him how you feel. Once everything is out in the open, you'll know where to go and what you should do...or at least things will be a bit more clear for you. I know it's tough right now but things will get better. Good luck.
2006-10-16 13:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by coolguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do at this point if he's in a relationship. You may want to try distancing yourself from him for a while. After all, why should he have the pleasure of your company and then leave and go back with his girlfriend? We don't want him to have his cake and eat it too. I think you should just write yourself out of the equation for a while- maybe give it a month. A lot can happen in a month- he and the girl could break up, he could realize he suddenly loves you too, or you could even find someone who is even better suited to you. If it's meant to be it will find a way, but you can't force it if it's not.
2006-10-16 13:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be VERY angry with him, and NO you should not be friends with him anymore, he fed you a bunch of bull crap about not being able to be with ANYONE and you bought it. Only to have him ditch you and go be with someone else!!! There is no need to be confused. YOU know exactly what he did to you, you just don't want to think about it. Because that means that he isn't so AMAZING, and guess what? HE'S NOT!! He is a prick and you should be very angry with him. I understand why your hurt, but just imagine how hurt she is going to be when he starts lieing to her, and cheating on her, your gonna thank your lucky stars you never went all the way with this guy, and that you and him never actually *hooked up* in a real relationship. YOU are better off without him and he will get what he deserves. What comes around DOES go around........ none of us can escape that. BLessed be.......
2006-10-16 13:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships should be win/win. If you can handle being his friend without hurting then do...if you can't then love yourself enough to back away. Either way..BE HAPPY. Guys are like buses..they come by every 5 minutes. If he's the one then you will eventually hook up again but take care of your heart and start doing activities that bring you joy!!!!! Every relationship you have brings a lesson with it. What did this guy teach you??? Why are you giving your heart to someone that isn't with you? That's a good question to start with..Be kind to yourself. Be grateful to him for the lessons he has taught you.
2006-10-16 13:50:50 · answer #6 · answered by redqueentx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are only two choices: Keep at it, or give up. It sounds to me like he wasn't serious about being with you like you are with him. He probably is a lost cause for romance, but you can still be friends. If you get a chance to talk to him alone, ask him why he said he couldn't be with anyone when you wanted to be with him, and now he can be with someone else, if you need closure.
2006-10-16 14:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you got with a guy that just played you girl can't you realize that.. if i were you I'll be doing some a s s beating and he won't be able to be someone else. well that's what i would do.so you need to think about what you gonna do.either find someone else that will love you or just be his friend and the love you have for him turn it into a Strong friendship.. OK!! bye
2006-10-16 13:52:07 · answer #8 · answered by alyssa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youfind someone that is avalible,seriously.I know what ya mean i feel the same for a lady friend of mine,but she's taken and i aint gonna step into something that will probably only break my heart or get me killed.
2006-10-16 13:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had your chance and you blew it. Why would you be a FWB and not have sex with him? You need to go out of your way to see him again and then screw his brains out and let him know that if he stays your FWB he can have that any time he wants it. Then perhaps with time you can work it into an emotional relationship.
2006-10-16 13:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by pablo h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋