Hi me and my fiancee are getting married next year but i just want to know wheather or not your hubby to be was actually interested in the wedding. Its just that my fiancee just seems not to be bothered. and when i say if you dont want to go through with the wedding then we wont he says he does. But he doesnt seem to care, he isnt interested about getting a suit, or saving for the rings and flowers.he would rather buy other stuff with the money, but i dont mind as its his money and he can do what he wants with it, i just dont want him to have to rush and buy things all in a hurry or not get them at all. But i dont know how to know weather or not he really wants to get married or not. Can anyone help me on this ?
2006-10-16 06:34:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Mine was very supportive and although he did not actually make any decisions on his own he was right there beside me the whole way through. BUT most guys are not interested in planning the wedding. Do not take it to heart. Everything will be fine.
2006-10-16 15:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy-of-Twins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK here is the "skinny" on the male outlook where weddings are concerned...
Many men don't care about "the wedding".... they care about the marriage, but see the wedding as the bride's domain (this is primarily due to history and the wedding industry in general). So... no he isn't interested in the details.
As a wedding planner I have found that the best solution to this is to find out what parts DO interest him.... and then let him take on those things. This might leave you biting your nails a bit, but you'd be surprised how well your groom can do when they aren't forced and don't want to disappoint you. You MUST be realistic though and give him a time-line so that he knows approximately when things need to be done. Also follow up. Make sure 1 week after the date it is supposed to be done that hes got it covered.
Do not try to force him to take part (if he has no interest at all)... if you want the "dream wedding" rather than a courthouse ceremony you have to be willing to work for it, because he would be just as happy with 15 minutes in front of a justice of the peace.
If you need further help feel free to email me and I will assist you the best I can.
Congrats and Good Luck
2006-10-16 13:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey, if he asked you to marry him, then he wants to get married.
Men really aren't interested in a lot of this stuff. Some are even scared to give any advice fearing they may lose a body part to a Bridezilla.
If you are wanting a huge wedding, and you are doing it on your own dime, then ask him NICELY, "Honey, I really want a big wedding, but I need your help. We need to save money...etc." If he still seems turned off by spending a lot of money (which men think this is a dumb idea too) then ask relatives or friends if they would help. Or just ditch the idea and see if he would want a smaller wedding.
If all else fails, and he STILL acts distant, then maybe you are rushing into it. That's the worse case scenario though, so don't freak out on him. Just ask nicely, and let him know how much the wedding means to you. If he really does want to get married, then he will understand and help out with the saving part.
Just don't ask him what color flowers you should get!!!
2006-10-16 13:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by Heck if I know! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a long talk with him. Maybe he wants to get married but he doesn't want a traditional wedding. They can be very expensive. Maybe he hasn't expressed this to you because he doesn't want to disappoint you. My husband and I have been married 14 years. We both agreed to go to the justice of the peace because we felt our money would be better suited going towards a house. The other possibility is that he isn't fully committed to going through with the marriage. Just sit down and calmly tell him you are concerned because he doesn't seem to be interested in planning. Ask him if it the idea of the wedding or the marriage itself. Don't do it accusingly. Everyone has a right to their own beliefs on this. You may find it is even something simpler. My husband is notrorious for putting things off. Maybe he just doesn't realize how far in advance arrangements need to be made. I worked in the wedding industry and they recommend a year to a year and 1/2 of planning. Once you are able to calmly discuss things with him, you will know better where you stand. You might think ahead of time what concessions you are willing to make. You might not have to give up your dream wedding all the way, you might just have to tone it down a bit.
2006-10-16 13:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by iceemama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, neither myself of my husband were interested in having a "wedding", but there was a lot of pressure from his family to have one. This was not my first marriage, but it was the first for him (and, we all hope, the last!), so his mom felt that he was being "cheated out" of the wedding by not having a huge ceremony; i.e., this day would not be "special" enough without it. He left all the decision-making up to me; I researched some options for a "real" wedding, and laid out the break-down before him; he looked at the $$ figure, and we made a decision together to go through with the original plan of an informal wedding, but to spend the honeymoon with a "bang" (a 10-day Caribbean cruise). Myself and my friends pretty much did all the wedding planning and arrangements, it was during an outdoor event, and everyone pitched in and helped, a friend did my hair, the matron of honor wrote the script and the vows, and the minister and the musicians were also from the circle of friends. Everyone had a blast! I was happy that I had such great friends, they made it possible, and we didn't have to do that much "planning"! Otherwise, both of us would have gone crazy. I can't blame your fiancé for not wanting much to do with it... If it was up to him, you guys would probably just end up going to the courthouse. Just be happy he's not flat out refusing the wedding, and go on with the planning.
2006-10-16 19:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are marring a man. He doesn't care about your wedding being the Cinderella ball. He would rather blow all of his money on Superbowl tickets than on flowers, cake, and a party for 200 of your friends and relatives.
Men don't grow up dreaming about their wedding day. He will dedicate more thought to a bachelor party then the wedding. He will study reviews on-line for weeks before buying a big screen TV, but you can count on him putting 5 minutes thought into his tux for the wedding.
The sooner you realize the wedding day is for you and your mom and not your husband to be, the happier you will be. He knows it, you dad knows it, every man knows it.
And P.S. Think long and hard about this kind of thing, because you might have to get use to it. You are not going to change him once you are married and he is less likely to change on his own after you marry him.
2006-10-16 13:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by thetruthhurts2025 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
at least your man wants to marry you! :P
2006-10-16 13:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Gwen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋