After a big fight, what is the best way to make up? My girlfriend is stressed out to the max with her ex and it is causing trouble with us. How do I assure her I am not going to just pack up and go? How do I end this fight when its over nothing?
2006-10-16 06:10:44 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All you can do is be there for her and keep reassuring her that you won't leave her. I know I was worried my boyfriend would leave me constantly. I was having a lot of problems and I worried that telling him these things and dragging him into these situations would drive him away. I was concerned he would get tired of having to deal with all these problems and just leave. I was also having problems with my ex. the ex broke up with me and i later found out he'd been cheating and there were all these problems afterwards. My boyfriend stayed by my side the whole time. There were times when he had to pry the information about what was bothering me out of me. I would eventually give in and tell him and then apologize and worry I would drive him away. It took his constant almost daily reassurance that he wanted to be there for me and would never leave me. He reminded me he loved me and was simply there for me. A shoulder and so on when I needed him.
After a big fight, simply try to listen to her side of the argument. Why was she upset? What was her point of view? Then reassure her you understand and remind her constantly (at least daily and especially when she is most stressed) that you will be there for her and won't leave her. Then back up your words with actions. Be there for her. Comfort her and talk to her or listen when she needs it. Best thing to do is be sweet understanding and patient. She has a lot to work out right now and all you can do is support her.
2006-10-16 06:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by lady_anya_of_fire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why is her ex still in the picture?.... but anyway, if she is being irrational and letting some other problem get between you, start by listening and understanding where she is coming from. Only with that perspective, can you know what she needs in order to feel assured that you are really there and not going anywhere.
Every fight is over something, but it just might not be the thing you think you're fighting about. It's usually something deeper that is difficult to talk about, so start by really being willing to listen and talk honestly & sincerely. That's what true intimacy is which sadly, many people never experience.
2006-10-16 13:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First my question is why is she stressed out about her ex? You could give her gifts or have sex that is the best sex ever after a big fight.
2006-10-16 13:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_p1993 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep tellingher in little ways, send her notes, give her lots of hug and kisses, do the unexpected, send her flowers at work with a love note. Just keep remindingher that you are in it for the long haul by choice...you want to be with her and you will be there for her, that you are the one thing she can count on...ex's can be very hard to get rid of so I know her stress nad I know how she is feeling...tell her to hang in there things will get better, you are a great guy to hang in there so you keep your chin up to....plenty of reassurance and lots of attention from you to her will help....she is battling emotions inside of her that she may not be able to really express to you. Take a picture of the twoof you and put one at your place...things like that
2006-10-16 13:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dark Goddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you're sorry! That's the biggest thing, then you could try flowers and a little gift to show her how much you care. After I had a fight with my hubby, he got me flowers and snuck into my jewlery box and got out my original engagement ring and put it on a chain so I could still wear it.
2006-10-16 13:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by tk_9702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Reassurance is key. Ask her if you've given her reasons for her not to trust you. Take it slowly she's probably scared. You have to be there for her, those kinds of thought cross girl's minds a lot. The thing is are you the big enough guy in the relaionsihp to be there for her and reassure her?
2006-10-16 13:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is stay with her that will show her you will always stick around. to make up with her do the simple things like cook dinner, run her bath so she can relax,its the little things that show her how much you care. let her shout at you to release all that stress then talk to her ask her how she is feeling explain and reasure her how you feel about her.
2006-10-16 13:19:23 · answer #7 · answered by crazycase2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused as to how her ex can be causing confusion...do they have a child together or something...why is there still communication if he is causing problems...she is feeding his fire...is she really concerned that you will leave while she is still trying to get over him?
2006-10-16 13:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by meiadiesel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there and be supportive...tell her that the dude cannot come between you all no matter what, because she probly is feeling insecure and thats why shes trippin
2006-10-16 13:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont bother, she has issues. why is ex a problem and why is she " stressed "out with him. more to that than meets the eye dear
2006-10-16 13:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by di05712 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋